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  • Develop a Positive Self Image About Yourself

    We all have formed an image of our self in one way or another. I have been doing a personal study of my performance in relation to my personal image.

    The discovery has been phenomenon. I have discovered that the way I view my self has a direct relationship with my task performance and my general life output. I believe that this is true for most of us.

    We live our lives based on our self image. We form our self image based on many factors especially external ones. If your self image is that of a failure or of a loser believe me, you are most likely living a failed or losing life.

    However, the opposite is also true. When am carrying out a task and my personal thoughts are negative the results are also not so encouraging.

    Sometimes I have spent hours and hours on articles only to realise that I have not done a good job and this is mostly because I had a negative feeling about the subject. These articles never find there way on my website.

    It is therefore, important that you create a positive self image if you have to improve your performance.  Having a positive self image is one of the key factors to enhancing your personal growth.

    A positive self image will accelerate your performance levels and speed up your goal attainment process.

    There are times when you just feel negative about something, it is absolutely okay to feel that way. The key is how quickly you turn your negative thoughts into positive ones.

    If you have always had negative thoughts about yourself I encourage you to read the bible for inspiration. There are many books out there but, the bible is the book of life. It is your manual for life. Through it you will begin to see how precious you are in the eyes of God.

    Failure is mostly associated with our negative self image. You have the capacity to change and shape your destiny if only you can change your personal image.

    Change begins with you. If you want to improve your performance and live the life you have always wanted, you must make the mental change to believe that you are the best at what you do and begin to take action.

    You are responsible for your life and should learn to take full responsibility for your actions and current situation. If you are an adult you should not expect a bailout. Just take responsibility and begin to act on making things better for your self.

    “The moment of enlightenment is when a person’s dreams of possibilities become images of probabilities” – Vic Bruden.

    How Do You Change Your Self-image?

    This is perhaps the starting point to your personal growth. You, alone are responsible for creating your self image.

    Its like in a marriage, what you tell your relatives and friends about your spouse is what they will know about her.  If you disrespect her, believe me they will also do the same.

    What you call your spouse in public is what they will call her. So if you want people to respect her you will always endeavour to tell them positive things about her.

    Those of you who are married must take this advice seriously. You will respect her in public regardless of the differences you had at home. Its those that do not value their marriages who will talk negatively about their spouses in public.

    Yes every marriage has its own unique problems and we do not want to bring them out in public.

    The same is true with how you view and portray yourself to people. The more positive and confident you show people the more positive and confident people will see you. People will treat you according to what you give or portray yourself to them.

    But this begins with yourself seeing the many positive things and qualities you possess. Take a sheet of paper and just write out 20 things that you think you are. You will be amazed at what you will write down.

    Yes we fail but that does not mean we should not try again. The most successful people fail many times before they succeed.

    The less successful people give up once they encounter a challenge. Failure to me, is merely an obstacle to be over come.

    Life would be very boring without challenges. Many of the times when we encounter challenges it simply means that there is an opportunity to develop a solution for the challenge.

    If you keep trying and trying things differently you will surely succeed at what you are doing. Fill your mind with positive self images about your self and sooner than later your mind will change the way you look at your self.

    Create a deliberate habit of saying “I like my self” repeatedly every time you feel low emotionally. When you wakeup in the morning ask God to help you focus on the positive things in life.

    Refuse the spirit of negativity and put on the image of positive thinking. Believe that you can complete a task with better results and make time to develop your skill set. Have an open mind to learning new things.

    Always see failure as a challenge and refuse to accept it. Surely changing your self image will make you feel much much happier and definitely help to improve  your performance. When you feel good about yourself you will perform much much better. After all what you want most in life is the feeling of happiness.

    know that you will come across people that will say unpleasant things about you. But you have the ultimate control to either accept or reject them. And besides we all have skeletons in our closets. No one on this earth can claim to be pure.

    It is also beneficial to hang around people that have a positive image about you as this helps to keep you motivated. When you create a positive image about your yourself some how it flows from you and attracts the right people.

    Make a deliberate policy to evaluate your friends some of them may not be very beneficial to your personal growth.

    Maintain the Discipline of Doing What is Right

    You know, there is a good feeling when you do something that is right. The feeling is just awesome. I would not be wrong to say that we all possess the ability to doing the right things.

    There is just something nice when we feel that, what we have done is good. All well meaning people have a conscious that tells us about what we are doing.

    I usually go with my first thoughts or rather my instincts. If am doing a task that am not sure of its effect on society, mostly I back out unless am convinced otherwise. This is not to say that I have never done wrong things before. Believe me I have but, I have learned to take responsibility and help to correct them if I can.

    I am not ashamed to go back and say am sorry let me correct my wrong doing. I have developed the discipline of doing what I think and feel is right especially for my success.

    Self discipline is one of the most difficult traits, but an important one for personal development and growth. We keep fighting every day to do the right things.

    Our minds are always telling us to do the easier things in life than do the most difficult and important things first. Like delayed gratification, we always want to spend money rather than save for the future.

    Honestly, I also struggle on a daily basis with the urge of wanting to do the easy and unimportant things first before moving on to the hard and important tasks. But tell you what, every time I conquer this urge, there is a feeling of joy and satisfaction.

    Developing the discipline of doing the right things first is a good attribute to helping in improving your performance. Doing the right things always makes you feel motivated and proud of yourself.

    Society lucks men and women who can stand up to do the right things even in the advent of criticism. It seems to me that many of us have fallen prey to doing what is popular or trending for fear of being called bad names.

    We would rather be on the same side with the majority even when we know deep down our hearts that what we have done is wrong.

    Conclusion

    “Believe in your self” – Unknown. The essence of personal self image is very critical to personal growth as it is the centre of your performance attribute.

    You should try as much as possible to create a positive self image if you have to fully enjoy your life. Most of the people who have a negative self image are low performers.

    If you are in a leadership position take a closer look at your subordinates performance reports, you will realise that one of the major factors of low performers is as a result of a negative self image.

    The higher performers are more usually confident and have a positive self image about themselves. You should consider helping those that are low performers as this will inadvertently reflect on your leadership skills and enhance your performance as a team.

  • Give It All You Have to Succeed in Life

    “To be a winner, you have to give it all you have.” Today is a beautiful day. Another day that the Lord has given us to conquer. 

    Do not worry about what you did not achieve yesterday, for yesterday is but history and today is a present. Start afresh and give it all you have to achieve success.

    Concentrate on what lies ahead forget yesterday’s disappoints and look forward to what lies ahead. There is more that is ahead than what lies behind. There is more to be done than what has been done.

    Today God has gifted you with another opportunity to make things right and reset your life for a better future. Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

    Things will not be easy but with God, on your side, you can do all things possible through Christ who gives your strength. God is the source of our strength.

    What you need to do is to set your sight on the task ahead and allow God to be God. He knows what lies ahead of you and what is best for you. You must develop the tenacity to trust in him who is greater than you.  

    The fact that you cannot see him does not necessarily mean that he does not exist. He lives in you. The bible says that “you are the temple of the holy spirit.”

    He is alive and has given you this day as an assurance of his existence. Therefore, today your commitment is to go out there and conquer the day.

    It may not be easy but it should be done with pride and joy. If you fail today don’t give up try again tomorrow.

    What you do now echoes in eternity. You are not only going out to create a better future for you, and your family but to help change someone else’s life. To be relevant to someone. 

    Whatever you go out to do must be in line with the principle of “do unto others what you would like them do unto you” for that is what God has commanded us to do.

    Take Joy in What You Do

    There is goodness in everything. Even in the things that seem bad, God is always telling us something. Things do not just happen by accident they happen for a reason.

    I believe that he allows certain things to happen so that we may learn from them. Our duty, therefore, as human beings is to look out for what he is trying to tell us.

    Sometimes good opportunities are presented to us when we least expect them. They are disguised in our adversities.

    Today ask that God opens your eyes and your spirit so that you are alert to what he is trying to tell you. If only you can follow his lead, life would be so much different and better.

    Many of the time we cry when calamity befalls us. We cry questioning God why me. Yes I know it hurts when calamity falls on you. But if not you then who?

    I think rather than question God, negatively, we must try to learn from what is happening to us. We must ask God to reveal to us what he is telling us to do rather than concentrate on the negatives.

    After the storm the sea is calm. If we do not learn from our experiences it is impossible to handle what is coming ahead. If you focus your mind and concentrate on the task at hand you will achieve your goals.

    Always Do the Right Thing

    “To me, a winner is someone who recognizes their God-given talents, works his tail off to develop them into skills, and uses those skills to accomplish his goals. Even when I lost, I learned what my weaknesses were and I went out the next day to turn those weaknesses into strengths” ~ Larry Bird.

    In the quest of making it to success, always try to do the right thing. Cutting corners does not pay. Cutting corners only gives you temporary success. You just get short relief when you jump the gun.

    Soon rather than later you will spend more time correcting your lies at the expense of moving forward. You will be going backwards instead of improving on your achievements.

    I like to advise my clients especially when it comes to paying taxes. You are better off filing your tax returns and making sure you pay your taxes on time.

    Otherwise, you will spend more time correcting the situation and end up spending more money on penalties than what you would have paid if you had done the correct thing.

    Besides, doing the right thing gives you peace of mind. You can walk the streets knowing very well that you have nothing to hide. It’s only greedy politicians who do not want to leave office when their time is up.

    Those who are in business will agree with me that they do not want to mess around with the tax authorities. Many businesses have gone under due to finding themselves on the wrong side of the law. 

    Sometimes it may not look cool to do the right thing, but that’s just the correct thing to do. It may not be cool with your peers but it’s cool with God.

    Your rewards may not necessarily be visible now but in due course, you will be rewarded.

    Be Proud of What You Do

    If you are not proud of what you do for a living, I suggest you quit and find something else that you enjoy doing. Your work must be a source of happiness and you must learn to be proud of it.

    It does not matter what kind of job or work it is. If that is what you are called to do then do it with pride. We cannot all be Presidents at the same time. One has to lead the other at a particular time.

    History has taught me that those who start with humility go on to be very successful in life. 

    It is not where you are right now that determines your future. It is what you do with your current situation that propels you to your destiny.

    Success does not just come on a silver platter. If it did then we would all be successful. Realise that your current situation could be your get way to greatness. Do not despise the days of your humble beginnings.

    Be Grateful For Life

    You are alive today for a good reason. If God Almighty did not have use for you, you would not have been alive you would be dead.

    The fact that you are alive you must be grateful for it. Some people have died especially in this error of the COVID 19 pandemic we have lost many lives.

    Every day I wake up is a chance to pursue my dreams. The only way I know is to first be grateful for my life and my health and work hard towards achieving my goals.

    Look, don’t take life for granted. Someone out there is looking out for you. Show some gratitude also, by looking out for someone.

    There are many reasons for showing gratitude. Even if you are going through the roughest of times it is important to show gratitude.

    Make it a habit to show gratitude even for the smallest of things. It is just polite to say thank you when someone is serving you. Gratitude is a sign of appreciation.

    Conclusion

    Giving it all you have does not guarantee that you will succeed, however, it is the only chance you have.

  • How to Increase Your Emotional Self-Awareness

    “The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wander and stand and rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed” ~ Albert Einstein.

    Emotional self-awareness is the building block of all competencies as mentioned in Daniel Goleman’s model of intelligence, published in 1995.

    Every day, that you wake up you need to recognise what you are feeling in order to move to the next competence level. Self-awareness has three skills, emotional self-awareness; accurate self-awareness, and self-confidence.

    It is very interesting to note that most of us are not very much aware of our emotions.

    When we are not aware of our feelings and emotions, and the causes of them, leading a happy and productive life is difficult if not almost impossible.

    Yes, there may be signs of success such as prestige, money, or career progression and success. But to be truly happy, we must be able to determine what really makes us feel good and what makes us feel bad.

    We cannot be truly happy and productive until we are aware of our feelings and what causes them. The knowledge of our emotional self-awareness is the driving force for our actions.

    When you develop your level of emotional self-awareness, you are able to specifically decipher how you are feeling at any given moment.

    This will help you resolve and know the basis and source of your current feelings. You will also know how your body is reacting.

    I know that becoming aware of your emotions takes practice, if you practice, the ability to note what you are feeling will increase with time.

    Checking Yourself

    The first thing to increasing your emotional self-awareness is to learn how to check yourself. To begin checking your emotions you will need to make time for doing so.

    You need to also know the different kinds of emotions or feelings. You also need to be aware that most if not all emotions are a result of external stimuli.

    Our emotions are our body’s reaction to certain conditions that we have been exposed to.

    I personally do an emotional check in the morning and late in the evening before going to bed. This is besides the monitoring as and when they occur.

    I have developed a skill to quickly monitor my body’s emotions at a particular time in a given situation. But when you first start I suggest you schedule it 3 times a day, that is morning, afternoon and evening.

    It may seem cumbersome in the initial stages but as time goes on you will realise that you will be able to call the skill anytime you feel a strong or distressing or strange feeling.

    I believe that happiness can only be achieved by identifying those feelings that make us feel happy and replacing sad feelings with happy ones.

    Here is how you can check yourself. Sit down quietly, if possible close your eyes, ask yourself the following questions and please ensure that you answer them honestly.

    Remember there is no right or wrong answer you are not competing with anyone.

    • How am I feeling?
    • What am I feeling?
    • Why am I feeling like this?
    • How long have I been feeling like this?
    • Where is the feeling manifesting itself in the body?

    Pay attention to your body language. Some stressing or strong emotions may cause symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, and just general body aches.

    Negative emotions are a health hazard. Learning to check yourself is the key to actually knowing how to handle your emotions. Checking yourself will also give you an accurate idea of how to handle and control your emotions.

    Sometimes, especially when we are angry we tend to react on impulse. If you learn how to handle your anger you will never find yourself in a regrettable situation.

    Write Down Your Feelings

    Once you are aware of your emotions you then need to write them down. I believe there is power in writing. After you have listed them down review them.

    Investigate what triggered them. As you get better at knowing your feeling you can label them whatever you want. Know also that not all feelings are negative.

    I know for sure that most of us will not pay attention to positive feelings but it is also important to have a clear understanding of what the source for these emotions is. This knowledge will come in handy when you want to start isolating and handling your emotions correctly.

    To help with identifying the triggers of your emotions ask yourself the following questions and be sure to be very sincere with your answers.

    Remember you are not competing with anyone and that your reaction will strongly depend upon the answers to the following questions.

    • When did the feeling start?
    • What was I doing or rather what was happening when it started?
    • Has the strength of the emotion changed if so how has it changed?
    • How often has this happened

    The above questions are best answered if you have a tendency to plan your daily activities. I would encourage you to develop among other habits of planning your daily activities.

    This puts you in total control of your time management and also helps increase your emotional self-awareness. If you are in the habit of daily activity planning you may not even realise that you have your emotional self-awareness under control.

    The whole idea of writing down your emotions is to get to the root cause of the feelings. Most of the time we tend to cure the symptoms rather than cure the root cause.

    You see if you know why you are feeling a certain way it is then possible to try and resolve the cause rather than pretend it did not happen.

    Finding out the root cause of the negative feeling does not necessarily mean you are accepting it; no you are merely trying to find a better solution.

    This brings us to the importance of noting down both positive and negative emotions. If the cause is resolvable you would have also resolved the bad or negative feeling.

    Learn to detect your emotion as they happen. Most of the time, our emotions are communicating something to us. You need to take extra caution and pay attention to your emotion as they occur.

    This though does not come overnight but with gradual practice and learning to live consciously, you will be in touch with your emotions and know yourself a lot better.

    Remember that we sometimes feel more than one emotion at a time but each one of them presents information that we can learn more about ourselves.

    Personal development is achieved when we learn more about ourselves and improve on our weaknesses.

    Preparing Your Emotions

    As you continue to build on your emotional self-awareness in the present you will learn to identify the triggers or situations and circumstances that lead to certain feelings.

    Remember it is the skill of knowing what the cause is that will reveal how to handle or avert similar situations that trigger negative emotions. I know for sure that most of us would like to have only positive emotions.

    Unfortunately, this is not the case in life. Life is full of challenges that need to be overcome. It is these challenges that trigger different emotions and reactions that each and every one of us needs to be prepared for.

    Learning to prepare your emotions for an event can help boost your self-confidence among other benefits of having to control yourself better.

    If we know how to handle our emotions we certainly have a better chance of handling failure very well and moving forward. The emotion of frustration is the one driving force to failure.

    If you are doing a project that you seem not to be getting the desired results at the first few attempts, you may begin to feel frustrated.

    It the way you handle this emotion of frustration that will determine your way forward. If handled negatively you are doomed to fail but if handled positively success is in the air for you.

    There are many instances that require us to prepare our emotions for the future. A typical example is when you are going to see your boss say over a disciplinary case or in a meeting where you are called to make a presentation.

    You will need to have your emotions under control in order to achieve the desired results especially if you are in the field of marketing.

    The benefits of knowing and preparing your emotions for the future cannot be over emphasised.

    You need to learn the skill of preparing your emotional self-awareness for greater personal development.

    Self-growth requires that you have greater control of yourself and emotional self-awareness is part of the greater picture.

    Conclusion

    “Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance” ~ Brian Tracy.

    Increasing our emotional self-awareness helps us learn and know more about ourselves.

    Before I close, let me emphasise the importance to note that we can feel different emotions at the same time and even feel as if some of them are conflicting.

    But, always remember that every emotion you feel is for a reason. Success requires that you know and understand yourself very well, this starts with knowing your emotions and the causes.

  • 4 Tips for Self-Improvement

    What would you do if you are trapped in an environment that you do not want to be in?  What if you are sick and tired of your job? What if you are sick and tired of your current situation? What can you do to get out the current dilemma?

    Though not easy, it is possible to take measured, inspired and motivated actions to survive your present situation and live the life you’ve always dreamed of.

    To do this you will have to come out of your comfort zone to discover seize the potential opportunities waiting for you.  You have to conquer your fear and take calculated risks.

    You have to stay focused and persevere despite the difficulties you will encounter.

    Success does not come easy.  It takes heart, passion and time. Experience is always a good teacher and there can never be any better substitute.

    The lessons learned in your everyday life become your foundation. Self-improvement does not come without hard work and perseverance.

    You have to work harder, dig deeper, and sacrifice more to attain your ambitions. But no, you do not have to hate the world and feel bad when you encounter difficult situations. 

    Just remember the Law of Attraction. If you hate the world, the world will hate you back and so if you love the world it will love you back.

    Learn to Love Your Current Situation

    No matter how bad your current situation is, there are some good things in it. See all the positive sides of life. Be enthusiastic. Love your boss, your co-workers, your family, your friends, love whatever it is that you are currently despising. Love attracts goodness and general happiness.

    It may not be easy, but nothing is impossible with a strong will power. Just do not fall in love so much that you totally forget about your dreams. Love, but try to hold on to reality.

    Many of the times we tend to focus on the negatives in a situation. But do you know that there are also a lot of lessons to be learned in your current situation. No matter how bad it seems find the positives and concentrate your efforts on them.

    Balance is Key

    Dream and take some positive action to move you toward your goals. Take it one step at a time. One day at a time. Do not be so engrossed as to forget about other aspects of life. Learn to live a balanced life even as you embark on your journey to success.

    While you are slowly starting on the long journey to success, be patient and be as enthusiastic as possible.  Do not hurry up too much that you totally forget how to enjoy life.

    Appreciate the beautiful things you will encounter on the journey. Always remember that personal development and self-improvement is not a competition. You are not competing with anyone to succeed.

    One day, you will finally attain what you have always longed for.  But when that day comes, do not look down on those who belittled you. Forgive and forget, after all your desire is to be a better person.

    Stay Humble

    Do not criticize others when you see that you are becoming more successful than they are. Try to help them. Helping others is an act of good will. Inject your positive aura into their personalities.

    When you give, you will yield back equal or greater rewards. “It is more blessed to give” ~ the Bible. Always endeavour to give more and more. Give and never expect anything in return.

    Humbleness just like patience is a virtue. Even when you are walking in your success stay humble. I know and have seen some people that have lost their coolness after attaining their success.

    Do not think that you are the only one who can succeed instead try and help others to reach their goals if you can. Always do something that other people will appreciate. Self-improvement is all about making the world a better place by first improving yourself.

    Are You Ready to Begin the Journey?

    Start it with the courage and desire to improve your life. Survive and go through it with persistence, enthusiasm, and positive thinking. Finish it with a resounding bang of accomplishment and with the desire to help others succeed as well.

    Before you begin your journey have a written down plan for your life’s purpose. This should be a guide towards how you will live your life.

    Continue to improve on it and read it every day and believe that you have attained it. Commit your plans to God’s hands and see how wonderful and faithful he is. “

    A journey of 3000 miles begins with one step” ~ Chinese proverb.

    Conclusion

    There are many other self-improvement tips that you will get as you go on with your daily life.

    Take note that you are not alone. There are others in much more difficult situations than you are currently in. That is why there will be no shortage of advice about self-improvement.

    Remember to always stay focused and share love and be compassionate with one another.

  • Inspiring and Empowering Others to Help You

    “For changes to be of any true value, they’ve got to be lasting and consistent.” ~Tony Robins.

    “Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives” ~ Tony Robins.

    No man is an island. Personal success and development cannot be achieved in isolation. God has abundantly blessed us with people in our lives that we can rightly use to achieve our life’s purpose and goals.

    Each and every person you have come across in your life has a part to play and it is entirely up to you to recognise that and help them to help you move closer to your life’s purpose.

    In this article I discuss three important ways to empower our associates.

    Firstly let me make mention that there are 3 groups of people in our lives;

    • Close relationships – these will include your family, your friends, your spouse, and your children.
    • Your work relationships – these will include your colleagues, workmates including your boss.
    • Others – included in this category are people you come across every day.

    You need to know how to interact with these people in order for them to help you achieve your desired life’s purpose and goals. The key areas I have identified are listed below.

    Appreciation

    There is no single person I have come across in my entire life that does not like or rather feels bad when they are appreciated. Appreciation is perhaps one of the most important aspects of getting people to like you and do what you would like them to do for you.

    You must learn and be in the habit of thanking people even for the smallest of things they have done for you. A simple smile and a “thank you” goes a long way in lifting the other person’s morale. The thankful you are the more people are willing to help you.

    At least say thank you for the effort even when what you have been given is not exactly what you asked for. Let the other person feel appreciated when serving you. Let them know that their effort has not just been wasted.

    Appreciation lifts the self-esteem of human beings. The feeling of appreciation is an intense one and can make or break someone’s self-esteem. Imagine yourself working for a boss who does not seem to appreciate whatever effort you put into your work.

    Imagine the feeling of not being appreciated after you have spent so many hours on an assignment.

    But then contrast this with the feeling of being appreciated even for your very small efforts. You will even put in more extra time because you feel that your work and presence are being appreciated.

    Approval

    Remember, everyone is primarily emotional.  Everything that people do, or refrain from doing, is triggered by their deeper emotions.

    Your job is to connect with their higher and more positive emotions so they feel so good about you that they want to help you and please you in some way.

    If you are in a supervisory position it will really help you to spend more time with your subordinates inviting their feedback and comments on their work.

    This I believe is one of the best methods to get their work approved as they will understand what is expected of them.

    Nothing beats the feeling of satisfaction when your work is approved by your manager. You feel like the work is personally yours.

    Believe me, having a highly motivated worker can yield results beyond your imagination.

    If your personal goal is very dependent on other people’s input you need to devise methods that are consistent and gain respect from other people.

    You need to be nice, friendly, and courteous. I encourage you to read more on people management. In life, you always have a choice.

    You can either do everything yourself or you can get others to help you do some of the work. Delegating work surely is key to helping you achieve more with your time.

    Attention

    The third and final aspect of empowering others is attention. Just like every one of us loves attention in one way or the other. Learn to listen with keen interest.

    Pay attention to the details that keep people motivated and work to improve them.

    If you have a difference with say a work colleague. Do not argue with them but reason with them. Listen to their explanation and make sure you understand the reasoning behind it. If you do not agree with them be polite in letting them know that you have a different viewpoint.

    I have experienced this, especially with women. Even when they know that you cannot help them, they just want you to listen to them. All they are looking for is some who can at least give them an audience.

    The fact that you will give them the attention they need, will greatly improve their self-esteem. If you are married that is lesson number one for you. Give your wife all the attention she needs. Listen to her.

    Conclusion

    Your ability to delegate effectively, which requires that you inspire and empower others to help you willingly, will determine how fast you move ahead. It will determine how much you earn in your job; this will also determine the quality and quantity of your productivity; it will determine your ultimate financial success in life.

    The key to all of this is your ability to empower others.

  • Your Confidence is Key to Success

    “It’s not the mountain we conquer but ourselves”~ Edmund Hillary.

    “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without confidence” ~ Hellen Keller.

    Success cannot be achieved without confidence. The most successful people are the ones with confidence. You cannot set out to do something and succeed without the backing of confidence.

    If you lack confidence there is a very high likelihood that whatever, endeavours you have embarked on, will not be a success.

    It’s absolutely vital that you develop the confidence and self-belief that you will achieve your goals. Self-belief is very crucial to succeed.

    I am not talking about being arrogant and ignoring feedback from other people and thinking you are infallible or invisible. Am talking about having a balanced view of yourself that does not indulge in false modesty and self-pity, and an inner view that is not strong enough to be crushed and defeated when someone challenges you.

    The thing is; to succeed you must develop the mindset and confidence to achieve your goals.

    If you’re really serious about succeeding you cannot afford to wallow in negative thoughts of “I am not good enough.” Here are a few tips to help with the development of your confidence.

    Positive Self-Talk

    Self-talk is perhaps the most important step towards developing self-confidence. What you tell yourself has more bearing and effect than what other people talk about you.

    Remember you are what you think. The bible says “as a man thinketh so is he in his heart.”

    Develop the attitude of talking positively to yourself. It helps to keep telling yourself that you can do it, you can do it. The Bible says “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” If God is for you, who can be against you?

    Usually, when am working on a task I keep reminding myself of the benefits that accrue when a task is achieved.

    I usually remind myself early in the morning that I can achieve all the tasks that I have laid down. Yes, I will come across obstacles but my mind is prepared for the tasks ahead.

    Sometimes I fail and sometimes I win, but I always learn from my failures and move on. I do not let them take the best out of me.

    You should try having a to-do list every morning and see, how that helps you towards achieving your intended goals.

    “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” ~ the bible.

    This is my prayer every morning. Try personalising the above quote and see how your confidence levels will improve.

    Your Behaviour Matters

    What you think about and what you say to yourself has a profound bearing on your behaviour and on what happens to you.

    Your thoughts, attitudes, and behaviours towards your ability to achieve your goals, have an impact on your expectation of the situation.

    In turn, your expectation will impact the way you behave in a given situation.

    People will always respond to your behaviours.

    “The most powerful forces of nature are the invisible forces, so we find that the most powerful forces of man are his invisible forces, his spiritual force, and the only way in which the spiritual force can manifest is through the process of thinking” ~ the Master Key.

    Am sure we’ve all known someone if not ourselves, who has been worrying about something they have to do and have constantly spoken how badly it’s going to go. 

    When it does go badly they jump and exclaim “I knew” that would happen.

    You see all along they did not realise that they created their own self-fulfilling prophecy. There is power in your thoughts and in your words. Always be mindful of what you say. It is better to keep quiet than say anything.

    Focus on the Things You Do Well

    Take stock of your skills set and attributes that you already possess. In other words, know your weaknesses and strengths and focus on improving your strengths even further.

    This is not to say that you should neglect to improve on your weakness. But focusing on doing the things you do better can highly improve your motivation and confidence levels.

    The idea is when you set out to do a task and accomplish it very well there is a sense of well-being and satisfaction.

    I have listed down some personal questions to help identify your skillset and attributes if you are not sure of them. Write down the answers and keep on reviewing them.

    Please make sure you answer the questions honestly there is no right or wrong answer.

    • What am I good at?
    • What have I received compliments and positive feedback for in the past?
    • What do people value me for? (Compare this with what you value yourself for).
    • What challenges have I overcome in the past?
    • What skills do I possess that have helped me to overcome the challenges?
    • What have I achieved in the past that I perhaps thought I couldn’t?

    “We see things not as they are but as we are” ~ H. M. Tomlinson.

    As human beings, I have noticed that we judge other people by our own standards.

    Believe me, if you have set yourself a high standard that is what you expect to get from other people and nothing less.

    Be Inspired by Other People

    One of the things that have always inspired and given me the confidence to succeed is by looking at and reading about other people who have made it.

    Find yourself some role models whom you admire and whose story of success inspires you.

    A role model does not necessarily have to be alive or known personally. It could be someone you have read about or someone who does not even know you.

    Most successful people have written books about their lives. Find some literature about them and read it.

    A good role model will show you the following attributes

    • Their attitude and approach
    • Where and how they started
    • How they made the most of their abilities
    • How they handle their success
    • How they overcome challenges

    Always remind yourself that these too were or are human beings just like you and I. If they can make it, why shouldn’t you make it?

    Conclusion

    Let me end by emphasising that you cannot succeed without having self-belief and the confidence to carry you on.

    I have not come across a successful person without self-belief and no confidence. I challenge you set out your intended purpose in life and start pursuing it with confidence.

  • The 9 Must Have Life Skills part 3

    Welcome to part 3 of “the 9 must-have life skills.”  This is the final part of the 3 series.

    Let’s start with a quick recap of the past two articles. In part one I mentioned the first three life skills namely, influencing; delegation, and persuasion.

    We went on to describe these in detail click here to read part 1.

    In part two I talked about the next three life skills namely; coaching, feedback, and conflict handling click here to read part 2.

    “A general is just as good or just as bad as the troops under his command make him” ~ General Douglas MacArthur. “A leader is a dealer in hope” ~ Napoleon Bonaparte.

    The last three life skills are the ones that expose your inner being, to the outside world.

    Remember you work from the inside out and not vice versa. You are made of what is inside you.

    You must know that all growth is from within. You cannot give out what you do not have.

    People will only judge you from what they see and how you present yourself to them.

    Presentation

    Presentation is an area that can be a challenge to many of us. We all make judgments by seeing or rather analysing the presentation by a colleague or friend.

    In my own humble definition, I regard presentation as a way of sending and receiving information in a way that makes people want to hear what you are saying or doing.

    Presentation can come in many different forms. In fact, we are always presenting ourselves on a daily basis, be it at work or to our customers, friends, spouses, children and the list is endless.

    Presentation is about getting your message across a section of society. In doing this, you should ask yourself what you want to achieve.

    A good leader should also be a good presenter and a good listener.

    If you are in leadership this is the skill that will influence your team members to appreciate or agree with your philosophies.

    The key to being a good presenter is knowing what you want to achieve.

    To effectively get your message across, it is important to consider these two perspectives;

    •  What do you want to say?
    • What is the expectation of your audience?

    Dale Canergie, once said, “there are always three speeches, for every one you actually gave. The one you practiced, the one you gave, and the one you wished you gave.”

    As I mentioned before, the skill of presentation is mainly to deal with the public.

    The public in this instance are the people you come into contact with every day. If you want to create a lasting impression on people you need to be a good presenter.

    Facilitation

    What is facilitation? This is a life skill that is needed and mostly used in a meeting environment.

    Facilitation is the art and science of helping a group or team in their thinking, planning, and decision-making.

    Imagine the chaos and confusion there would be when you are holding a meeting without a moderator or facilitator.

    Very often we do not realise the knowledge and potential we have within a given grouping or team.

    In many cases, the insights and knowledge needed to resolve problems and or identify innovative ways forward, are just within the team.

    The skill to unlock this potential knowledge and solution in most times is found during facilitation.

    A good facilitator will strike a balance between dominant personalities and those that are less dominant.

    Facilitation mainly focuses on progress rather than arguments.

    It is very common during meetings to drift away from the point being discussed and so it is very important that the facilitator does not lose focus.

    There are 3 main elements to effective facilitation:

    • Focus on the Progress – the key to successful facilitation is to focus on the progress.  To achieve this you need to set the right tone of the meeting and ensure that the participants are motivated from the start to end. You will also need to use your feedback life skills to ensure that information is flowing smoothly and at the end of it all, a consensus has been built.
    • Interpersonal Skills – to manage progress you need not only keep things on track but, also need to use good interpersonal skills. These will include having a good command of; rapport building; effective communication verbal and non-verbal; listening actively and how you use your question technique.
    • Personal Characteristics – we all have different characteristics though I feel that the following are a must-have to achieve better facilitation; ability to learn; sensitivity; openness to change; self-awareness; friendliness and off-course some sense of humour.

    Team Meetings

    The last and final life skill set is rather not a skill but something I feel should be acquired in your life “team meetings.”

    As a leader, you will need to have regular meetings with your team or group.

    The key to an effective team meeting is to know why the meeting is being held.

    So before you call for a meeting ensure that your mind is clear and certain as to why you are calling for the meeting.

    In other words, prepare an agenda and circulate it beforehand if possible.

    I will not go into details of what a meeting should be but they could be formal or informal.

    As a leader only hold meetings when necessary. I have worked in companies where meetings are held unnecessarily.

    Meetings if not well planned for can be a share waste of company time as they take away the time for doing other duties.

    The best way is to have planned meetings with set targets. Only “bosses” call for unnecessary meetings.

    Another key factor is to call only people you think need to be present or will make a worthwhile contribution.

    You see when you call for a meeting it is your reputation at stake. Make sure you build a reputation for handling meetings very well.

    Leading team meetings effectively requires a wide range of skills.

    These skills could include the ability to focus on how the meeting is progressing and blending it with your own interpersonal life skills and characteristics.

    To achieve this you need to build your knowledge base and step out of the box.

    In fact, let’s just say remove the box altogether; think about what you are doing as a group and get a lot of practice.

    Conclusion

    I hope you have learned something from the three series I will end with a Chinese proverb ~ “Tell me and I will forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I’ll understand.”

  • The 9 Must Have Life Skills Part 2

    Welcome to part 2 of “the 9 must have life skills.” In part 1 I talked about the first three life skills namely; the skill of influencing; the skill of delegation and the skill of persuasion.

    As mentioned in part 1 this article will be more of help to those in a leadership role.

    “Leadership does not always wear the harness of compromise” ~ Woodrow Wilson.

    In this article, we will look at the next 3 life skills. You may wonder why I call them life skills and not leadership skills, this is because we are all born leaders and we have these skills in us.[the_ad id=”72155″]

    The skills are listed randomly even though they are related.

    The Skill of Coaching

    This is perhaps one of the most critical skills to have in relation to delegation. If you are in a leadership position you will or may have delegated some work to your subordinate(s) and the most critical area is to have confidence in your colleague.

    The only way confidence can be created is by way of coaching. You will only have confidence in someone if you know that they were properly coached and more especially if the coaching was done by you.

    By definition “coaching is a process which supports people in developing their skills and achieving their skills.” The subject of coaching is a wide one that needs a dedicated article. I promise to do more research on this topic.

    There are several approaches to coaching and they all tend to be in agreement that it involves:[the_ad id=”72155″]

    • Activities to develop someone’s skills and abilities. This could be either on a one on one or group basis.
    • Developing targets that are both individual and group-oriented. This is very common in sports-related activities.
    • Focus on improving performance, this could be individual or team.

    I believe the skill of coaching is equally important even in parenting. These days our children are very clever and they need to be coached in order to get the maximum benefit from their academic work.

    The speed at which they learn is amazingly fast and as a parent, you just need to keep up with them. A good leader should be able to coach, that is imparting some of his skills to his colleagues.

    A good leader is judged by how knowledgeable and skilled his team members are. If you are a leader you will be judged by the results your team is achieving.

    Feedback

    Feedback is inter-linked with the skill of coaching. I regard feedback as a form of communication. Feedback serves two main purposes:

    • Motivation – when a team is performing well, feedback can increase confidence and encourage the team to perform at the same high or even higher level.
    • Correction – this is also true when a team is not performing at the expected level, feedback can be used to assess how to change and improve performance for the better.

    This skill (feedback) can be very critical in the following instances;

    • When providing coaching support. At this point, there is feedback from both the coach and the student. As coaching involves the setting of goals the student has to give feedback on the progress and what difficulties are being encountered. The coach also has to give feedback on the modification of the program if need be.
    • Reviewing how a delegated activity is progressing. When you delegate work there is a need for feedback from both ends to ascertain that the job is being done correctly and the person delegated has understood the instructions.
    • Conducting management reviews and appraisals. In a work environment as a leader, you will be required to conduct employment appraisals for your juniors. Appraisals are a two-way assessment. The person being assessed gives feedback to his appraiser and vice versa.
    • Handling conflict – this is discussed below.
    • Facilitating – this is also discussed in part 3.

    For feedback to be appreciated it has to be positive. The following are a few tips for ensuring positive feedback:

    • Feedback has to be specific and to the point.
    • Feedback has to be fair and sincere. This will ensure maximum or intended results to be achieved with minimum difficulty.
    • Feedback should be descriptive and focused on action and not on an individual.
    • Feedback can also be futuristic. This is especially important for corrective feedback.

    Remember that feedback is a very vital skill for both good leaders and managers.

    The Skill of Conflict Handling

    The final skill to be dealt with in this part is the skill of handling conflicts. I would be safe to assume that every one of us has had to resolve some feud of some sort. It doesn’t matter how it was resolved but it was done.

    Conflict handling is vital to all human beings whether in leadership roles or not. Yet this is one skill that many of us do not want to have or use. A good leader should know how to resolve conflicts among his team members. This is vital because unresolved conflicts can be very detrimental to the team as a whole.

    The first step in handling conflicts is to be aware of the possible reason behind the conflict. A mini investigation can be conducted to ascertain the cause. By definition, some conflicts are easier to handle than others. Some cases can be very difficult to handle that you may require a third party to help resolve them.

    Firstly you need to understand as the person in charge that conflict is not necessarily a bad thing. There are bound to be conflicts where two or more people are gathered.

    You will also appreciate that if conflicts are resolved properly they can add a lot of motivation to the group, by making the team understand each other even better.

    There are however different approaches to handling conflicts. I know for sure that most of us do not want to handle conflicts or would rather find the easy way out. Unfortunately, there is no shortcut.

    I believe that conflicts have to be faced or handled head-on. Whichever method is used please ensure that the parties involved are satisfied with the resolution. I know that it is impossible to please all but always look at the bigger picture and what is beneficial to the aggrieved parties.

    Conclusion

    I feel that the topic on coaching has not been done much justice. I will be writing a whole article on this very challenging topic so you can have an insight of what coaching is all about.

    “I believe that the mind-set that allows you to spend your working life thinking and congratulating people rather than being unpleasant to them is the mainstay of good leadership” ~ Tim Waterstone.

    The skill of coaching is a must-have for all. Look out for part 3.

  • The 9 Must Have Life Skills part 1

    “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader” ~ John Quincy Adams.

    Although there are no set standards for life skills set to have, in order to be successful, as we all have different skills set to see us through the hassle and bustles of life, there are a set of life skills that I personally feel you should acquire in order that you are distinguished from the rest.

    This set of life skills, I think is the distinction between success and failure. The skills mentioned in this article will be more useful especially to those in a leadership role.

    “I suppose leadership at one time meant muscles; but today it means getting along with people” ~ Mohandas Gandhi.

    The Skill of Influencing

    The first among the life skills is influence. Maybe let’s start by defining the word its self influence. Here are some dictionary definitions;

    • The ability to change someone’s views, attitude or behaviours.
    • The power of a person to have an effect on someone else resulting from ability, position, or wealth.

    If you are a leader this is one skill that you will need and use very often.

    You need to know how to communicate in a way that “gains support.” Why do you want to gain support?

    Influencing a group of people should be distinct from coercion and trickery. People do not want to be tricked or coerced.

    If you to be a good leader you will use your influencing skill to gain support from your team or group of people.

    Let the people follow you willingly and you will gain their unwavering trust even in times of difficulties.

    Influence goes hand in hand with power. As we have noted in the definition above.

    Power can be thought of in a number of ways, each relevant to the way leaders can influence others;

    • Expert power – this comes due to the knowledge one has gained
    • Personal power – this comes by way of what other people think about you. The more highly respected the more likely you are able to influence them.
    • Position power – this is gained through your position in an organization. Often times this is the most abused power function, especially in the political world.

    Influencing skills are a combination of various other skills when brought together, these can help you change someone’s views, attitude, or behaviour

    Delegation

    A good leader will always delegate some of his duties. What is delegation?

    “This is giving responsibility to someone to carry out tasks that you normally do yourself. By delegating you give, others the authority to do things, but you remain accountable and responsible for their outcome.”

    Delegation encourages; communicating what is expected and builds trust between leader and subordinates among others.

    To understand delegation you need to have honest answers to the following questions.

    • How do you give responsibility to someone else?
    • How do you ensure that they feel clear about what they are being asked to do?

    Delegation is a powerful tool. Many leaders do not understand why they should delegate. They think they lose power or authority when they have delegated their work to someone else.

    Here is why I think delegation is a great tool.

    • Delegation releases your time to concentrate on other important matters.
    • Builds the capability of others in your team. Remember that no one is indispensable. The organization has to continue growing with or without you.

    “No person will make a great business who wants to do it all himself or get all the credit” ~ Andrew Carnegie.

    Remember always that a leader is a team player. In our society today we lack young leaders simply because there is no delegation from the top to help groom the young ones.

    Theodore Roosevelt says “the best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with them while they do it”.

    Persuasion

    The final skill for this part is persuasion. “The act or process of encouraging someone to do or believe someone.” Aristotle broke down persuasion and separated it into three kinds of appeals.

    • An appeal to “ethos”  – the credible person making the persuasive argument. This may be how convinced you are by that person.
    • An appeal to “logos” – the use of logic to support a claim. How do the facts being presented add up?
    • An appeal to “pathos” – the emotional or motivational appeal.

    Being persuasive also means being able to sell a message.

    Those in the sales and marketing industry will agree with me that they use persuasion more often when trying to sell products/services, especially to potential customers.

    I love the saying by Professor Bob Sutton “argue if you are right, listen if you are wrong.”

    Many of the times we know when one has made a mistake. I think it is also very humbling to acknowledge as a leader that you made a mistake and allow your subordinates to make suggestions.

    Most of the answers we are looking for are just within our team or group. No one has a monopoly of knowledge.

    Selling a message can mean; convincing your colleagues to a certain approach or methodology; as I mentioned above with the sales guys, persuading your would be customers to buy services or products and bringing your colleagues or members of your group to agree with your ideas.

    We all have the skill of persuasion in us all it needs is to be awakened.

    The most successful leaders I have come across or read about are very persuasive. Remember persuasion can be used to influence people to do negative to society.

    I do not advocate for negativity and I encourage you to use these skills positively and help change the world into a better place for all.

    Conclusion

    I am tempted to write more in this article, I will leave it at the 3 life skills for now and will continue in the next article as  I do not wish to make this article very long.

    As you read these articles reflect on the life skills that you have acquired thus far and evaluate them if they are helping you to succeed in life.

    There is no written down formula for success and there is no prescribed life’s skill set for success these are only suggestions.

    You are the formula and you shall succeed in whatever you do.

  • Tick Toke, Tick Toke, Time is Ticking

    “Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff that life is made of” ~ Benjamin Franklin.

    Tick toke, tick toke the clock is ticking, never backwards but always forward. You want it or not; like it or not; believe it or not, time does not wait for anybody.

    Time is no respecter of persons. If God is an unfair God then he has been very generous and fair to all of us by giving us 24hrs to be utilized in a day.

    It does not matter whether you are rich or poor, black or white, able-bodied or physically challenged whatever and where ever you may be, we all share the same hours of the day and that is 24hrs.

    No single person or country is more privileged than the other to have more or less hours.

    The first quarter of the year has but gone, ask yourself what you have achieved as against what you have intended to achieve by the end of the year.

    Many of us will not realize that we have achieved very little or nothing at all. If you are in this bracket stop and take a serious inventory of yourself.

    I am not perfect either but am consoled by the fact that I have achieved most of my monthly targets. Certain things have happened to me that may have derailed my progress but I take them as challenges rather than as problems.

    Look Forward

    We all have lost time at some point in our lives. The key is how you get up and recover it. There is so much to look forward to for me than to look at spilled milk.

    Yes, sometimes I have lost a lot of time, but I always encourage myself by rereading my written down intended life’s purpose on a regular basis.

    This gives me a sense of purpose to live for. I imagine and appreciate the life ahead of me and how comfortable it will be. My written down “intended life’s purpose” is one of the motivating factors.

    Whatever is done is done and whatever has not been done has to be done. If you are to become a better person and an achiever you need to improve on how to utilize your time.

    Time management is of the essence. Great men and women are those that have learned and mastered how to manage the precious commodity called time.

    If there is anything that has to be taught or learned at an early stage in life it is time management. Unfortunately, our education system does not teach us how to manage and utilize time. How I wish this could be introduced in our schooling systems.

    Sometimes I feel that most of what we learn from our schools is irrelevant in our lives. Most of the stuff does not apply. What a waste of time and resources.

    Please this does not mean you should not get an education. You need it. When you wake up every morning, regardless of your circumstances, look forward to getting started with the day. There is so much waiting for you out there. Always look forward to enjoying the day.

    Have Courage

    “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage” ~ Anais Nin. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be discouraged” ~ the Bible.

    In order to succeed at anything, you need to be bold and courageous. You will need to take bold steps.  Some steps will of course trample on other people’s toes, but if it is the right thing to do just do it. Warning, PLEASE DO NOT CREATE ADVERSARIES.

    I will be very honest here, some decisions I have made have actually offended other people. But under the circumstances, they were about the best choices I have made in my life.

    These choices have been life-changing and over time wounds have been healed. As a human being, you are bound at some point in life to make some tough decisions.

    Like, I always say decisions have to be made. Wrong or right. It could be resigning from your current job; it could be cutting links with some of your old mates or any other life-changing decisions. It has to be done.

    It could be that you are wasting time in your current job and are not progressing. Please be wise and pray over it before you make those life-changing decisions.

    Have a master plan for your life, especially if you are married and have children to support.

    Conclusion

    If you have a plan to do something just do it. Many of the time we spend a lot of time procrastinating and let our good plans go to waste.

    If I can recall, I’ve had so many plans on how to make money and most of them have gone down the drain.

    Not because they were not viable ideas but because they were not even tested. I know that this describes some of you.

    Lastly, we must all endeavor to learn and appreciate how to manage our time this is the only way to ensure personal development and self-improvement.

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