insakanet

Mental Health

  • 5 Principles for Goal Setting

    “Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals” ~ Henry Ford.

    As the year comes to an end and as you prepare for the coming New Year, I thought I could just remind you and probably give you a few tips on how to set out your future goals.

    Goal setting is one activity that distinguishes successful people from the average ones. It is hence important in life to set your own achievable targets that are measurable.

    However, before you set your goals, you need to have your life’s intended purpose written down. The goals you set are aimed at helping you achieve your intended life’s purpose.

    For more on goal setting please read this article Goal-Setting Tips.

    What Are Your Strengths?

    “Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender that is strength” ~ Mahatma Gandhi.

    It is very important to know what your strengths and weaknesses are as a human being. Before you step out to set your goals know what your strengths and weaknesses are.

    Know what flows from you naturally and what does not. I have noticed that the best goals are those set around our strengths.

    This makes life very easy and the journey to success enjoyable. You cannot set a goal as being a better mathematics teacher when your God-given call is being an athlete.

    You will surely fail terribly. This goes to parents who are in the bad habit of deciding their children’s careers. Just because you are the one paying school fees, does not give you the right to prescribe a career for your children.

    Or put straight, stop forcing them to become what you failed to be, or keeping the family tradition. I have two boys and all that I do is help them build on what they want to be.

    My first son tells me he wants to be a medical doctor because he feels pity when he sees sick people. He wants to help them get better.

    The only thing I do is to help him work hard and tell him that he needs to work extra hard in sciences, to be accepted in medical school. So far so good and I pray to God that he continues on this path.

    Write Down Your Goals

    There is power in writing down something. One sure way of reminding yourself about your goals is to put them in black and white.

    Please make sure that you are the one deciding your own goals and they are not borrowed. It is much better and easier to set your own targets than copying some else’s. Your life goals are based on the unique talents you have.

    The targets you set must be your own blueprint that can be adjusted as you go along.

    Writing also acts as a measure and monitor, as this helps you to review them from time and again. I find goal writing fun and interesting.

    A lot of things pop up that I could have easily forgotten about if I had not put them in writing. Your targets are your blueprint; the final product is your white print.

    All successful people have their life’s intended purposes written down and broken down into smaller manageable and achievable targets.

    Dream Big

    “If one advances confidently in the direction of their goals and endeavours to live the life that they have imagined, they will meet with success unexpected in un common hours” ~ Henry David Thoreau.

    Our lives are made of what we dream about. It all starts with your mind. If you dream, small you are more likely to achieve less in life.

    The bigger your dreams are the bigger your requirement for dedication and the bigger your expectations are. Zig Zigglar rightly says “if you can dream it, then you can achieve it.”

    Am sure that you have dreams of what you want to be. I believe that every one of us dreams of what we want to be. There is nothing wrong with dreaming big. You are only increasing your chances of success.

    Imagine Yourself Succeeding

    I would say dreaming and imagination go hand in hand. When you are dreaming you are visualising yourself living your dream. Your imagination is the preview of things to come. Only you can see them.

    Use your imagination to keep your dreams alive. If you want to achieve your goals you need to continue imagining yourself as a success.

    Such positive thoughts send out strong energies that attract complimentary thoughts from people that can help us achieve what we want.

    Constructive imagination means mental labour, by some considered to be the hardest kind of labour, but, if so, it yields the greatest returns, for all the great things in life have come to men and women who had the capacity to think, to imagine, and to make their dreams come true.

    “The cultivation of the imagination leads to the development of the ideal out of which your future will emerge” ~ The Master Key.

    Pursue Your Goals with Passion

    The driving force behind your goal achievement is your desire. You must develop a burning desire that transcends everything else to achieve your purpose.

    That is why I said in the first place that you set your goals based on your strengths. Whatever life’s purpose you have in life always make sure that you enjoy what you do. Life’s too short to be lived miserably.

    Inject some passion in the things that you do. If you are an artist’s draw like that is your last drawing.

    Imagine that you are going away and you want people to remember you for something, you will surely give them the very best of your being.

    If you are in the service industry being good and just smiling at your customers makes them want to come back frequently. Live life with passion.

    Conclusion

    I will end with one of my favourite quotes by Thomas Jefferson ~ “nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”

  • How to Create a Long-Lasting Positive Self-Image

    “Life isn’t about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself” ~ George Bernard Shaw.

    Before we start please get a piece of paper and write down the answer to the following questions. What do you think about yourself, what do you think your friends, colleagues and peers think about you?

    The answers of course will vary from individual to individual and will reflect what you think you radiate and transmit to your associates and peers.

    Galileo Galilei once said “you cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him find it within himself.”

    What most of us do not know is that our positive spirit is the adventurer in us. It’s just a glimpse of what we are capable of doing. Yourself, image is the person you think you are. You are your own creation.

    When you carry a low self-image you attract into your life all the experiences and conditions that tell you how poor and pathetic you are.

    Conversely, when you are high in spirits you attract all the experiences telling you how great you are.

    When you have learned to form mental images of the conditions desired, it will be the easiest and quickest way to secure results; if not, results can be accomplished by argument, by the process of convincing yourself absolutely of the truth of your statement.

    Personal development and success have no room for a negative self-image. Which successful person have you ever seen carrying or putting on a low self-image?

    Have a Positive Mind

    “Whatever, the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve” ~ Napoleon Hill.

    Life requires us to put on a positive self-image. You see, everything begins with your mind. Have you ever noticed that when you have a positively inclined mind about something the results follow suit?

    If you have never observed this try to deliberately have a positive conscious mind about something good happening to you today.

    Believe me, just the thought will make you feel good and act positively.

    Imagine living in a society with positive-minded people. Individuals, who do not talk or act negatively towards each other, well it all starts with one person and that person is you.

    Creating a positive mind is one sure way of creating a positive self-image.

    With a positive self-image, even the people around you will be infected with it. This is the only disease you and I would be glad to spread.

    They will begin to treat you positively. Remember you attract what you think. The more ambitious and positive you think the more you attract those things that you will need to prosper.

    I agree that you may be distracted by temporal setbacks. But remember they are temporal and they offer us an opportunity to learn and grow from them.

    Imagine how boring life would be without challenges. Without having to sweat before sweet comes.

    Most of us especially the young generation, want to have sweet before we sweat. We want to cut corners and start enjoying good things where we did not sow, the end result is usually terrible.

    If God intended for us to enjoy everything at the same time he would have done that. But, then that’s not the case. That is why he gave us stages in life.

    First, you feed on your mother’s milk when you are a baby, before you graduate to feed on solids. You start small and as you learn to handle small things he increases your responsibilities.

    Some of us though, have remained and have not grown to handle larger responsibilities. This has mainly got to do with our mindset.

    Do you realise that we all have the same mind? It is the same mind that is in you and me. It is the same mind that has had great inventions.

    The difference between success and failure is how we have positioned our minds. What mental self-image do you carry in your mind?

    Having a positive mindset will definitely radiate a positive self-image.

    Act Positively

    They say actions speak louder than words. True to this is how you act in different situations.

    If you have to build a positive self-image then you have to act accordingly. Even when you have been challenged, be it physically or otherwise.

    A positive reaction attracts positive results. You cannot create a positive self-image just in your mind without reflecting on it.

    Your outward behaviour is a reflection or a mirror of your inner self. I always say that your outer reaction is an accumulation of your inner image.

    One always reveals themselves by how one reacts especially in challenging situations. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,

    Self-image can only be reflected by your actions. Therefore, it is very important to act positively if you have to create a positive self-image.

    Without action, there is no reaction. Imagine if all the great inventors did not act on their thoughts, we would not have been privileged to be using computers today later on the internet.

    Action is the key to every outcome. There would be no outcome without some action. Personal development and self-improvement requires us to act on the knowledge we accumulate.

    I don’t know about you but the knowledge I acquire is for sharing with the people I come into contact with including you reading this article. It is no use accumulating knowledge and not acting on it.

    The difference between success and failure is the lack of action or acting on the wrong side of the coin. Positive action will surely enhance your self-image.

    There are many situations that will come your way in life and will require your action. In this instance, your actions will be a reflection of your self-image.

    This is when it matters most, what you feed your mind. If your mind is not well fed it will be revealed. The bible says “as a man thinketh so is he in his heart.” Our thoughts are predominantly what we see, hear and read.

    “Watch your thoughts; they become your words. Watch your words; they become your actions. Watch your actions; they become your habits. Watch your habits; they become your character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ~ Frank Outlaw.

    Renew Your Mind

    “You shall be transformed by the renewing of your mind” ~ the Bible.

    Nothing beats the renewing of your mind other than reading. It is by far the best way to renewing your mind. What you feed your mind is very important.

    From the time you are born to the time you grow up most of your character is a result of what has been fed to your mind.

    I will give an example if you grew up in a home where your parents fought every now and again you will most likely end up doing the same.

    It may not be your fault but your mind is conditioned that way. That is why it is important to feed your mind with the right stuff.

    If you are a parent PLEASE DO NOT DO ANYTHING, especially with your spouse that sends a wrong self-image in front of your children.

    Their minds are like cameras; they never forget easily. Remember that they learn from us. We, as parents, are responsible for nourishing their fragile minds.

    I have given myself a target of reading one personal development and self-growth book every month this is beside the bible of course.

    I know this is not much of a target but at least I feed my mind positively. Believe me, reading especially the bible, helps to build my mind which in turn helps develop my self-image.

    I have always emphasised in my previous articles the importance of reading. If there is anything that you will not leave anyone with on this earth when you die, it is knowledge.

    Therefore, when you acquire knowledge it is your choice whether to keep it to yourself or share it. Please don’t be self-fish learn to share so as to make this world a better place.

    I am only saying this to emphasise the need to read. The Bible says “By wisdom the earth’s foundation was formed.”

    Wisdom is gained through knowledge and the main source of knowledge is reading. You cannot make a wise decision without having the knowledge.

    “If a man empties his purse into his head, no man can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest” ~ Benjamin Franklin.

    Conclusion

    Having a positive self-image can greatly accelerate your personal development and success process. We as human beings must always endeavour to improve our self-image after all we were created in the image of GOD.

    The more positive your self-image is the more confident you are, carrying about your daily life.

    This also gives you more confidence in achieving your, written-down life’s intended purpose. I know that there are many other ways that you can use to help improve your self-image. I would encourage you to take them one step at a time.

    Always remember that you are not in a race. Personal development is your own race and only move at the pace you set for yourself. You are not competing with anyone.

  • Why the Emotion of Fear is the Main Killer of Dreams

    Every normal and sane human being has dreams. Dreams of having a better and more successful life. 

    Dreams of having a life that is honourable and meaningful. One that is worthy and fulfilling. Dreams of living a legacy behind.

    However, you set out to achieve your dreams, is entirely your choice. It is your responsibility and it can never be transferred or delegated to someone else.

    Better still if you live to see your dreams through, is something that can only be driven by you alone. 

    Achieve your dreams and you will be in the category that everyone wants to be because most people have not lived to see their dreams fulfilled. 

    Equally, most people will never live to fulfill their dreams, not because they have no capacity but because they have been distracted by fear. 

    They have allowed the emotion of fear to defeat them. Look, fear is responsible for killing and delaying the attainment of many people’s dreams. 

    Those that are living their dreams are those that have boldly taken a step and are courageous to act. They have defeated the spirit of fear.

    “courage is the currency for success and fear is the currency for failure.”  So whatever currency you are trading in, more often than not, determines where you are in your life.

    If your major trading currency is “fear” you are probably where the majority of people are and if your major currency is “courage,” You are living your dream. If not you are on the right track.

    When you replace fear with courage, your results will definitely be the opposite of what you are experiencing now. You cannot get different results if you keep on doing the same things.

    Fear Is A Very Strong Emotion

    What is fear? “Fear is an emotion experienced in anticipation of some specific pain or danger (usually accompanied by a desire to flee or fight).” – Power Thesaurus.

    Fear is one of the strongest emotions among the 6 basic human emotions, which include happiness, sadness, anger, surprise, disgust and fear it self. 

    Because fear is such a strong emotion the human body’s reaction is to flee or rather engage in defensive mode.

    Usually, this emotion is triggered when the body feels threatened.

    However, fear is also defined as “a primal emotion that is important to survival and triggers a fight or flight response” – uwa. 

    Stronger emotions are usually very difficult to overcome. They tend to push us to do things that make us feel ‘safe’ or ‘comfortable.’ 

    This means trying by all means not to do the things that we think are going to cause us pain. Naturally, people do not want to be associated with or experience pain.

    But do you realise that you can never achieve your dreams without pain? I believe that the more pain you experience the sweeter the rewards. As the saying goes “no pain no gain.”

    If you avoid the road that leads you to temporary pain and decide to take the easier route the results will be different. You may enjoy success but I can guarantee you that it will not last a long time.

    Many of us are living substandard lives because we chose to take the easier route. The route that offers temporal success. 

    If only you can reroute your journey to take the road that has a little pain you will reap the rewards at the end of the road. It is never too late to make adjustments to your life. 

    Fear comes in two forms. There is “positive” and “negative” fear.

    Negative Fear

    This is fear that affects you in a negative way. Perhaps this is the most dangerous of the two.

    It is negative fear that is responsible for failure. When you experience negative fear your mind is just focused on the immediate solution for relief. Believe me most of the time, this is temporal relief.

    To make meaningful success with your life you must try by all means to suffer a little for a better future. Don’t be comfortable with the little relief that you may experience time and again. 

    Take advantage of the temporal relief to build on your future. If you concentrate only on temporal gratification you may end up missing your destiny. 

    Positive Fear

    This is the fear that drives you to success. The bible says “the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” this is a positive statement and should be embraced.

    Positive fear has a lot of benefits. It makes you stick with your life’s plans. If you have to have fear, choose positive fear. 

    It Makes You Panic

    When you are gripped with fear there is a tendency to panic. It is a known fact that decisions made under fear are not usually the best.

    They are usually of a short-term nature and are not always sustainable in the long run. They are meant to get you out of a sticky situation almost immediately.

    I believe that the best decisions are made when you have peace of mind. When your mind is settled and un distracted. 

    Fear temporarily impairs your judgement. If you have to make a good judgement you must always make sure you postpone making important decisions to a later date. Avoid being in a hurry. 

    Defer them to a time when your mind is clear and focused. This way you will make decisions that will help you immensely. 

    It does not hurt to take time when making important personal life decisions that will impact your lively hood.

    Why should you not take time for a decision that will have more benefits for you? It is only reasonable and prudent that you take your time otherwise you may live to regret it.

    Fear Can Affect Your Health

    Even though fear prepares us to react to danger it is known to have a negative effect on people’s health. Fear has been known to weaken the immunity system.

    It also can interrupt processes in our brains that allow us to regulate emotions, read non-verbal cues and other information presented to us, reflect before acting, and act ethically. 

    This impacts our thinking and decision-making in negative ways, leaving us susceptible to intense emotions and impulsive reactions. All of these effects can leave us unable to act appropriately.

    Once your judgment is impaired you cannot make decisions that are long-lasting. Your primary focus is to get out of the current predicament at all costs. 

    Conclusion

    Do not allow the emotion of fear to be a disruption in your quest to achieve your life’s goals. Always find ways to overcome it and learn to move on. 

  • The Power to Make Choices is In Your Hands

    We live our lives based of the choices and decisions we make every day. The choices and decisions we make largely determine the quality of the lives we live.

    If you choose to be happy, you will live a happy life; if you choose to be negative you will be negative, so whatever you decide to do, the choice is yours.

    You are currently in this situation largely because of the choices you have previously made. You are living your choice. Stop blaming others and do something to change it.

    You are totally responsible for the decisions you make. God gave us the ability to make our own decisions. We are expected to be responsible for the decisions we make and endure the consequences.

    Unfortunately, many of us live in denial of being responsible for the state of our lives. We always want to blame someone for not being supportive or doing something about it.

    How do you expect someone to do something about your situation when you made the wrong decision? You made the wrong choice. Look, God allows certain things to happen to us in order that we may learn from them. Experience is a good teacher.

    Most of the time we neglect the good counsel we are given. When people come with good advice we are quick to ignore or even rebuke them. “I know what am doing. It’s my life after all.” These are some of the most common answers we give.

    People always want to give an excuse when they fail. We cry and complain to say “why me” O Lord. But, let’s face it, if not “you” then who? We only want to be credited with the positive things we do.

    The same energy you apply when things are going right should be applied even in your trying times. In fact, you must double that energy during your trying times.

    The Blame game will not change your current situation it will only make things worse. If you are facing difficulties in your marriage go and seek professional help, make the decision and quit complaining about your spouse.

    If it’s financing you want, start a side hustle, no matter how small it may be, learn the ropes and get busy with it. At least get started. Yes, you will fail but one day you will look back and say I have come from very far.

    Life has taught me that, to make meaningful progress, you need to realise that you are totally responsible for your choices and the decisions you make. This will help you make better decisions and take corrective action where necessary.

    Taking responsibility may sound harsh but, that is just the reality of life. If you are not happy with your current lifestyle, it is your duty and responsibility to change the situation. You have the power within, to make the right choices.

    If you wait for someone to come and change it for you, most likely you will wait forever. No one will pitch up for you.

    Look no one has the right to force you to go against your free will without your permission. You are made of the things you do and not the things that happen to you. You will stumble, every now and again that’s life but stumbling is not what makes you.

    What makes you is that which makes you stand up when you stumble. Just because your friends have invited you to attend a party does not mean you should attend. You have a choice either to attend or not.

    If you have a goal to achieve stay home and work on it. True friends will always support your endeavours. Surely there will be more parties to attend when you succeed.

    Create Personal Boundaries and Take Responsibility

    Humans by nature are social beings. This means that we are tolerant of other beings. We want to have a sense of belonging. That is why family and friendships are important. We want to have a safety net. A place where we feel safe.

    Most of the time especially in our teens we are easily influenced by our peers and join in everything we think is cool just to fit in a certain group.

    This leads us to lose our personal boundaries and allows people to control our lives. I remember being in the same dilemma for a long time. I know that many of us have experienced peer pressure at some point.

    When you allow people to cross your personal boundaries you lose yourself. You lose your personal Identity.

    That is why it is important to maintain and guard your personal space it is your property. It is your responsibility to ensure that you are in charge of your boundaries.

    It is difficult to re-create boundaries especially when you have lost them, but it is worth fighting for. Do not let other people be responsible for your well-being. Let your “No” be “No” and your “Yes” be “Yes” nothing less nothing more.

    Sometimes we lose our boundaries by being over-responsible for other people’s needs especially our children. We want to be involved in everything they do and take responsibility for them. We want to be responsible for their happiness, success, and their life in general.

    Well, in as much as we have to be involved in the many aspects of their lives, especially when they are still young, we have to have a limit. They are individual human beings and at some point in life, they will have to move on. You do not want to have a 25 years old baby in your house.

    Depending on how old they are, allow them to make certain choices and let them take responsibility for their actions. When my eldest son was about 5 years I had trained him in such a way that we could go shopping and he would not through tantrums crying for toys.

    When it was time to buy toys I would take him to a toy shop and tell him to choose 1 or 2 toys. The funny part is that even as a small boy he would start negotiating with me to get him more toys because 1 or 2 were just not enough.

    I would stick to the agreed number and that the choice is entirely his to make. Of course, I would chip in to advise but I allowed him to make the final decision.

    The catch was to make him own the toys and be responsible for them. This way every time the toys stopped working and he comes crying, I would tell him it was his choice. Eventually, I noticed that he would take my advice most of the time. Now he is a big boy.

    Exercise Your Power Wisely

    The ability to choose and make your own decisions is powerful. It should not be taken lightly. This power is uniquely yours and never allow anyone to get it away from you.

    Be in control of your life by making wise informed decisions. To live a happy life, you need to learn how to make decisions and choices that are beneficial in both the short and long run. Be in control of your life by choosing what you do every day.

    When you are faced with difficult challenges in life take a break and don’t make hasty decisions. Think about how you will be affected in the medium to long term; think about the impact your decision will have on your immediate family.

    If possible consult your spouse and children, let them have an input after all we spend most of the time working for them.

    Listen to their concerns and fears. But ultimately you will have to make that decision bearing in mind the information you have gathered from your immediate family.

    Personal development and self-improvement demands that you are responsible for the decisions and choices you make.

    Conclusion

    You have the power and ability to make your own choices and decisions that will affect or change your life. Let no one take away that power and responsibility from you. Make those decisions and choices today and kick start your life.

  • Building Strong Relationships and the Importance of Reciprocity

    Reciprocity is the relation of mutual dependence or action or influence. Humans are well known for being social. Being in a relationship, be it intimate, social, or business requires the reciprocity of the people involved. All human beings excel in relationships where both parties have a balanced, give and take situation.

    Relationships, where reciprocity is not practised, are usually strained. They are one-sided and problematic. When there is no reciprocity the relationship is on the rocks.

    To create reciprocity in a relationship, both parties need to take responsibility for that creation. It must be done with a deliberate intent for the relationship to work.

    Good healthy relationships are those that which people have mutual respect for one another and every member, does not feel that they are putting in much more than the other. If you want to live a happy life, it is important to be in a healthy relationship where reciprocity is practised.

    Some relationships are not beneficial for your personal development. If you are in a relationship that makes you uncomfortable, leave. Make the decision and set yourself free. You must weigh what benefits you are getting from being in certain relationships.

    If you have to break them please go ahead. This year I have resolved to evaluate most of my relationships. I have also resolved to work on improving those that I feel need to be improved. Over the years I have slowly broken out of some unhealthy relationships.

    I have managed to stay away from them, especially those that were not adding any value to my personal improvement. I liken relationships to the game of chess. If you play chess with players who are less skilled than you are, you do not improve. You are merely improving them whilst you remain stagnated.

    Building and Understanding Reciprocity

    The principle of reciprocity is also key and crucial to success in all business relationships. The strongest and longest-lasting interpersonal relationships are based on the principle of reciprocity, and this extends far into the best relationships between buyers and sellers.

    Therefore, it is important that we take time to build and understand this principle. Good solid relationships take time to build. When building them we must understand that every relationship is unique.

    A good example of how to build reciprocity in a relationship is to apply the principle of “do unto others what you would want them do unto you.” Believe me, it is the best bet. If you expect people to treat you with respect you must be the first to respect them.

    The flip side though is to do good and not expect anything in return. When you are expectant most of the time you will be disappointed because you are not in control of other people’s actions. You can only control your actions.

    Here are a few ways that can help you build long-lasting relationships:-

    • Be the First to Give Something – Try and be the first to give something. The bible says “it is more blessed to give than to receive.” When you give don’t expect anything in return. Regard it as a gesture of good will. If you are in business offer an incentive when the sale is complete. Send gifts to your clients as a way of thanking them for supporting your business.
    • Keep the Relationship Going – Good relationships are not easy to come by. We all want to have them, so keep the relationship going. Find ways that will help you grow it. I have noticed that some of the best relationships I have were built during my high school and college days. Yes, along the way I have built new ones but am more comfortable with my old buddies.
    • Offer to Support – Support is a form of giving. People always appreciate being supported. Don’t we all? I believe in the saying that “you never know who is going to keep you tomorrow.” Giving support is also a sign of generosity. Be generous.

    You Need to Give and Take

    In every relationship that you build you need to have a give and take attitude. You lose some and you win some. Relationships must be based on mutual respect and understanding. Good solid relationships are built on trust.

    Remember that trust is earned. Once breached it takes time to repair. When you are trusted with responsibility at work, for example, ensure you deliver. If you cannot deliver ensure that you communicate. It is better to be honest, that way you earn trust.

    Conclusion

    “Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship” – Buddha.

    To succeed we must build strong healthy and trustworthy, relationships with the people we come into contact with.

  • There is No Safety in the “Comfort Zone”

    Life requires that we move on while our human nature dictates that we remain in our “comfort zone.”

    Unfortunately, our comfort zone does not provide for growth. When you remain in your comfort zone chances are that you will never grow.

    You are most likely going to live a nonfulfilling life. If you have to contribute meaningfully to society, and to your own well-being, you have to move out of your comfort zone and explore the world.

    Explore the unknown and be bruised and battered to create your own safety zone. Those that make it in life are those that embrace challenges.

    Unfortunately, most of us do not embrace challenges. We would rather complain and do nothing about it. Complaining does not resolve anything.

    Most successful people have moved out of their comfort zone and are sailing the deep waters of the sea. They are enjoying the exploits of the sea called life.

    Whereas most of us are scared of exploring the unknown world. We would rather remain in our “comfort zone” which is not even comfortable when you come to think of it.

    We see our friends progress and are envious of them. I feel that it is rather unfair to the world that we demand to see change when we are doing nothing about it. If you want to see change be the change agent yourself.

    Change begins with you. It actually begins with a change of attitude in your thinking. Change the thoughts you habour.

    All growth is the sum total of the small things that we do and have accomplished on a daily basis. Human beings are like a ship.

    To know the strength of a ship it must leave the safe harbour and sail the deep waters. The ship must be able to withstand the stormy weather and sail back to the safe harbour.

    You are the captain of that ship. You must learn to navigate through life and overcome the obstacles that come your way.

    It is only by exploring the world around us that we discover many new and exciting things. I think that when God created us he designed us to explore and learn the world.

    If you want to grow in a certain area of your life, you need to leave your comfort zone and start exploring new ways to improve.

    Why Should We Explore the World?

    You will agree with me that life was meant to be enjoyed. You cannot enjoy life to the fullest by being in the same position or place.

    One of the best ways to derive satisfaction in life is by exploring the world around you. Many of us are even dead scared to move to new places.

    We would rather die in one place and not explore new places. I am one person that has always enjoyed traveling.

    It is through traveling that I discovered that there is more life out there than in the city.

    There is more natural beauty out there. God created us to be explorers of this world. There are more opportunities to be of service out there than where you are.

    I have discovered that the greatest joy one can derive from life is being of service to humanity.

    When people appreciate your work it gives you more joy and satisfaction. They say sharing is caring, that is why I share my stories throw this blog because I care.

    You know that it is very difficult to put up a building where there is already an existing structure. You will have to demolish it before you put up a new one; whereas it is very easy to build a new structure where there is no building.

    Many of us tend to gravitate towards crowded areas, believing that safety lies in numbers. However, true opportunity often awaits in less populated spaces. Embrace the chance to carve out your own path where others may hesitate. Building in uncharted territories can lead to greater rewards and unique advantages.

    No disrespect but I find cities to be crowded places. People are all fighting for very few or dwindling resources. I see buildings being erected where, some are being built where they are not supposed to be.

    The world is full of untapped resources. It is, therefore, our duty to explore and utilise these untapped resources.

    We are not doing ourselves a service by staying in one place and constantly fighting for the ever-dwindling resources when there are more places to be discovered and explored out there.

    I believe that God created more than enough resources to go around humanity.

    Imagine if David Livingstone did not have the courage to explore, he would not have known the existence of the Mighty Victoria Falls or if Christopher Columbus did not discover the Americas and many other explorers that risked their lives traveling around the world.

    We would have probably not known about the existence of the many discoveries they made.

    Take the Challenge and Leave the Comfort Zone

    This year I have set myself a target to conquer some of my fears like public speaking. Yes, you heard me right. Public speaking is one area most of us are scared of, especially me.

    My comfort zone has always been sitting in the background and let other people do the talking whilst I silently criticise.

    To overcome this fear I have started preparing myself both physically and mentally. I am gathering material that I think will help me.

    Am also already seeing myself as a very good public speaker. Not necessarily motivational speaking but to just speak in front of an audience and do it exceptionally well.

    I hope that come to the end of the year I shall be able to stand in front of an audience and speak on a given subject with confidence.

    You could also give yourself a challenge to overcome some of your fears. It could be the fear of starting a new business, the fear of relocating, and so on and so forth.

    Yes, you will be faced with many obstacles at the very beginning, but your success will be determined by the way to rise up when you fall.

    I always encourage myself by repeatedly saying “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” – Philippians. I also take comfort by knowing that “if God is for us, who can be against us?” – Romans. I have personalised the Romans quote by replacing “us” with “me.” I say “if God is for me, who can be against me?”

    I am not a perfect person am far from being one and would probably never be perfect. I have my own struggles many of them for that matter and have never been better than most of you.

    I still struggle with so many things in my life. Forgive me if at any point I portrayed myself as a perfect person, it was not and will never be my intention.

    I have lived most of my life with so many struggles however, in the last 10 years or so, there has been a drastic change in my life.

    I thank God almighty for giving me a second chance at life. Those that know me can attest to this. Am not blowing my own trumpet but just so that you can be encouraged from my own experiences.

    Grow Your Faith and Trust God

    “What seems impossible one minute, through faith, becomes possible the next” – Norman Vincent Peale.

    Let’s begin by defining faith. “Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” – The Bible.

    I believe and trust in God almighty for all the things that I do and hope to achieve. I think it is important to grow our faith and believe that God will help us achieve our goals.

    There is a nice phrase that I learned from the power of positive thinking by Dr. Norman V. Peale and I encourage you to apply it on a daily basis “God is with me. God is helping me. God is guiding me.” When you start moving into deeper waters you will need a lot of encouragement.

    Always remember that God is on your side and is actually guiding you. Yes, you will stumble along the way, but if your trust is in God he will certainly show you the way when you call on him.

    Most of the time we remain in the safe harbour because we have no faith and we fear to fail. The more you grow your faith the more courage you gain.

    I guess there is a direct relationship between faith and courage. The only way to grow your faith is by reading and meditating on the word of God.

    Everyone who has ever succeeded has faith. They believe that they will achieve that which they have set out to accomplish even when they cannot see positive results instantly. Everything that is good is worth the effort.

    Conclusion

    “The first step is to fill your life with positive faith that will help you through anything. The second step is to start where you are” – Norman Vincent Peale.

    Being in your “comfort zone” will not help you grow. You cannot produce meaningful results in life if you are content with what you currently have.

    You must show and demonstrate the desire and the will to achieve.

  • Do More Things That Make You Happy

    This is my first article for this year and I thought that I should write an article that will help you stay happy for the rest of the year.

    “A man is successful if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do” ~ Bob Dylan.

    Perhaps this is the best description of success for me. The key factor is enjoying what you are doing. Sometimes the obvious escapes us.

    Have you noticed that whenever you are enjoying what you are doing, you do a better and outstanding job, you have more fun, and feel a certain sense of ease, delight and mastery.

    We become better at something because of the time we spend doing it. In other words the saying practice makes perfect is true.

    Scientists say if you spend only two hours a day doing something that you choose to do that makes you happy, within five years you can become an expert.

    That is why it is very important to have a job that you enjoy. A job that makes you happy. One that you always look forward to every morning. There is no joy in doing a job that does not make you happy. Happiness bring out the best in you.

    The Challenge

    Every day presents a new opportunity to discover something that brings you joy. If you find yourself feeling dissatisfied with your work, take a moment before considering a drastic change.

    Instead, focus on how you can enhance your current situation. Embrace this challenge as a chance to learn, grow, and transform your experience into something fulfilling. Seek out the positives, and let them inspire you!

    Life is too short to live worrying every day. Besides most of us spend a lot of our time at our work places, why not make them a happy place. Your work place must and should be a happy place.

    I have been in employment before that I dreaded going for work every day and I know what am talking about. The best solution is to make the best out of it.

    Remember it is essential that you learn to enjoy life there is much more to enjoyment than to sadness. I know for sure that happiness makes you look younger.

    You and only you alone are in charge of discovering and deciding what you want to do with your life. The more you do what makes you happy the more productive you become.

    There are certain things that have to be done.  To achieve happiness, make a commitment to making the best out of every situation.

    Work with pride do your job as if there is no tomorrow. Challenge yourself to always go the extra mile if you are in employment. This will certainly make you stand out from your fellow co-workers and earn you accolades.

    If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased and that is you.

    Happiness is Infectious

    Marcus Aurelius concluded that “very little is needed to make a happy life.” Indeed happiness is a state of mind.

    Embrace the power of positivity! A happy person radiates a positive mental attitude that can transform their life. Make it your mission to choose happiness every single day. Let this decision empower you to face challenges with a smile and inspire those around you. Remember, happiness is a choice—commit to it, and watch your life flourish!

    I know that you will come across trials and tribulations but the more you practice doing the things that make you happy the more relaxed and the more inner peace you will have.

    Happiness has a tendency of spilling over to the others around you. I have a friend who is always happy. There are very few times I have seen him sad and he is such a huge source of inspiration for me.

    Every time we meet up you feel like you just want to be with this guy more and more. I asked him what his secret to happiness was and he simply said I make a decision every morning to be happy and try to do more of the things that make me happy.

    This to me is one of the best formulas to happiness. Turn your sad moments to into learning moments and reflect on them.

    Many of the times we are sad because you’ve allowed others to do so. There are times in all of our lives when we have to focus on sad and painful situations.

    But in the bigger picture, when life is running more smoothly, we have to remember to get back in the habit of making choices that will provide opportunities for us to do more and more things that make us happy.

    Happiness In Service

    I believe that some of the happiest people are those in the service industry. If you are in this industry and are not happy please quit.

    I know that some of the people join the service industry for the sake of a pay cheque. These are the ones that should leave the industry and allow people with a natural inclination for serving humanity to do it with dignity and honor.

    I have experienced some of the worst treatment by some medical personal yet this is a noble profession with a calling to serving lives. Now, I know that there are some very very good medical practitioners that are dedicated to the cause.

    In reality it feels very nice and pleasant and you feel useful after giving a helping hand.

    I have noticed that, even with my little kids they enjoy giving a hand in whatever I am doing. When they take this opportunity they are very joyful and happy.

    I want to believe that we all have a part to play in making the world a better place and it all starts with you and I being a happy people.

    Service is honourable. When we continue to do more things that make us happy, we will become happier.

    The gift of well-being is the greatest reward of embracing a fulfilling life. Each of us holds the power to express our love for the world in our own extraordinary way.

    “I have never looked upon ease and happiness as ends in themselves…The ideals that have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Kindness, Beauty, and Truth” ~ Albert Einstein.

    Conclusion

    “Laughter is the best medicine” ~ Unknown. Every day of your life make a decision to be happy. Wake up and declare happiness to be a part of your day.

    Yes, you shall encounter sad moments but treat them as stepping stones. Wouldn’t it be nice to live in a happy world where everyone is playing there part and are happily doing it?

    I believe it can be done if we all played our part honestly and happily.

  • The Value of Self-Discipline in Our Lives

    What is self-discipline? Self-discipline is “the ability to control one’s feelings and overcome one’s weaknesses; the ability to pursue what one thinks is right despite temptations to abandon it.”

    Behind every great achievement in anyone’s life lies self-discipline. We see this in every human endeavour. Be it in the field of sports, business, academics, and any other human venture.

    In the field of sports, for example, we see that many great sportsmen and women spend an awful lot of time practising.

    They adhere to strict programs that many ordinary people easily give up. They make a lot of sacrifices that many of us are not willing to make.

    These sportsmen and women are so disciplined that even when the body is not willing they go for practice anyway.

    This is also true for people in the business world and the music industry. We only see what they have achieved but when we go behind the scenes only then, do we get to appreciate how disciplined and the many sacrifices they have made to achieve their success.

    Whatever, your definition for success is, perhaps the single most important principle is self-discipline without which you cannot achieve your success.

    You can have all the best plans and might even be the most talented in your field of expertise, but without the discipline to do what you have to do when you have to do it, you will not be successful.

    The single most reason why we fail is a lack of self-discipline. If you look carefully at the periods of failure in your life, you will see that on almost every occasion when you failed it was due to a lack of self-discipline.

    Hence, both in the areas of success through self-discipline and the lack of success through lack of self-discipline.

    We lack the self-discipline to work up early in the morning to exercise or prepare ourselves for the day. Most of us want to do things when we feel like, and not when it has to be done.

    We fail because we postpone doing the things that have to be done now, to a later time. We want to do the easier things and not the difficult things that matter the most.

    It Brings Out the Best in You

    Self-discipline allows you to be the best version of yourself. It brings sanity into your life. You are more focused on achieving your goals.

    Self-discipline is like a muscle, the more you practice, the better and stronger you become. Lack of self-discipline can also cause low self-esteem.

    You will agree with me that those who, are considered more disciplined are better individuals than those who are not. They live a much more focused life than individuals who are not. In other words, they are go-getters.

    When you know what you want to do with your life, and are armed with self-discipline, nothing can stop you from achieving your goals, you will fly high like an eagle.

    You will be more focused on doing the right things that will give you long-lasting results. You will concentrate on getting things done correctly and not cutting corners because you know that lasting success cannot be achieved with shortcuts. Those who achieve success cutting corners enjoy short-lived success.

    Have you ever wondered why many people who win the lottery go broke after a few months or years? Winning a lottery is cutting corners to financial freedom.

    Most of the time they have no idea what to do with the winnings, hence they just spend it on lavish materials. Before they realise it the money is all gone and they are back to square one. As the saying goes easy comes easy goes.

    Self Discipline Helps Create Habits

    “Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.” – Frank Outlaw.

    “We are what we repeatedly do; excellence then is not an act but a habit.” – ARISTOTLE.

    Your character is a summation of your habits. If you are of good character it simply means you have good habits, consequently, if your character is bad then you have bad habits.

    Our character is basically judged by the habits that we form. We must then be conscious of our thoughts and control our actions.

    Continuous practice or application of self-discipline helps to build habits that translate into character.

    Usually, those who are considered to be of good character are synonymous with self-discipline.

    Successful people are disciplined to work hard and stay consistent, and hard work becomes a habit that attracts success in their lives.

    It Boosts Your Self Esteem

    Success comes to those who believe in themselves. Those who are willing to pay the full price for success and it takes self-discipline to achieve.

    Self-discipline helps to boost your self-esteem and work habits.  When you feel good about yourself because you are achieving or meeting your goals your self-esteem goes up. The more you feel good about yourself the more productive you are.

    Through self-discipline, you nurture your path and navigate through life with much ease, and in this way, your self-esteem is increased.

    Having higher self-esteem can go a long way in helping to achieve your goals. I find it very important that I keep a higher self-esteem by celebrating the small goals I achieve on a daily basis. This motivates me to even work harder for greater accomplishments.

    Having positive self-esteem helps to get your priorities and needs in balance. It also just feels good to have positive self-esteem. It means you appreciate your being.

    If you feel that you have low self-esteem find ways of improving it.

    It Enhances Your Personality

    Self-discipline enhances your personality. When you are disciplined you do things in a systematic and orderly manner. You plan your tasks and align them with your overall objectives. This means that you will be more productive with your time and effectively achieve a lot.

    Conclusion

    The value of self-discipline cannot be over-emphasised. Discipline is the key to your success. Without discipline, it is very difficult to achieve your ultimate goals.

  • There is Satisfaction in Doing the Right Thing

    “Happiness does not consist in pastimes and amusements but in virtuous activities.” ~ Aristotle.

    “When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That is my religion.” ~ Abraham Lincoln.

    There is a natural rebound of contentment and a profound sense of accomplishment when you consistently choose to do the right thing in each and every situation you encounter.

    You have the power to make the right choices. It might not always be the easiest path, but when we confront reality and take the right action, we build our character.

    Take whatever pains necessary to do what ought to be done because this is the way to living a good, decent and honorable life. With free will, each and every one of us must be responsible for our clear conscience.

    When you accept the challenge to do the morally correct thing, to show compassion, and to stay the course, oftentimes you are rewarded just by having done the right thing.

    Every day we have a fresh opportunity to make good choices that will reward us in the act of doing what is appropriate. You many not be rewarded immediately but be rest assured that you will be.

    Always aim to make good choices in both big and small aspects of your life. Keep in mind that you are shaping your character every day, and your choices play a significant role in that.

    When you consistently strive to do good, you create a life filled with purpose and fulfillment. Embrace this journey, for it leads to a truly satisfying existence. I believe that in this pursuit, you can find genuine happiness and joy.

    I am not writing to condemn anyone but to encourage you to make a choice of doing the right thing even when it does not suit your current situation.

    This does not mean that I am perfect but I try as much as possible to make the right choices. I have realized that every time I think that I have made the correct choice there is a great sense of satisfaction and general happiness.

    Maybe you are like me who was always in the habit of making wrong decisions and choices, some of them deliberate just to suit me or get me out in a difficult situation.

    Well, there is always a beginning to turn things around. You see, the choices and decisions we make have a direct bearing on your character.

    “We are weaving character every day, and the way to weave the best character is to be kind and to be useful. Think right, act right; it is what we think and do that makes us what we are.” ~ Elbert Hubbard.

    Every one of us holds immense value, and the rewards life offers are indeed something we must strive for. Embracing the journey towards these rewards fosters a profound sense of integrity within us. Let’s harness that drive and pursue our goals with determination!

    You feel humbled, blessed, and glad when you choose right and did such a good job. We feel stronger, more self-reliant, and more dignified when we bravely face what we must do.

    We should take great satisfaction in doing the right things for our family and friends. But the most important thing to keep in mind is to be sure we make wise and wonderful choices for ourselves.

    Life is meant to be enjoyed and sometimes this comes with a little sacrifice. As the saying goes there is no gain without sweat. No gain without pain.

    Your choices and decisions must not only suit your family and friends but must be the correct ones. They must be decisions that have been made in good faith and based on love.

    Together, you and I can help change the world for the better by the choices we make and the decisions we make and follow. Change starts with your mind and is transformed into reality.

    Conclusion

    Be the change you want the world to see and strive to make the right choices and decisions for your life. Making the right and correct decisions can be a source of happiness and refreshing to your mind and soul.

    We should choose to never bend the truth. The choices we make through rigorous discipline expand us, elevate us, and confirm all the good that is our essence.

    “I will follow the right even to the fire but avoiding the fire if possible” ~ Montaigne.  

    When you follow the right to the end, you’ll always feel satisfied and you’ll be in good company.

  • How to Maintain Self-Discipline

    Self-discipline is the ability to control one’s thoughts, emotions, and behaviours to achieve specific goals or to maintain a particular standard of behaviour. 

    It involves making choices and taking actions that support one’s goals, even when it may be easier or more tempting to do something else.

    Self-discipline is often associated with willpower, but it’s more than just the ability to resist temptation. It also involves taking consistent action towards your goals, even when you don’t feel motivated or inspired.

    The benefits of being Self-disciplined are immeasurable and can help you develop good habits, overcome procrastination, and improve your productivity.

    It can also help you stay focused on your goals and make progress towards achieving them, even when faced with challenges or obstacles.

    I believe that self-discipline is key to all aspects of our lives. Without it, there can be no meaningful success in personal development. Overall, self-discipline is an essential skill for achieving long-term success and personal growth.

    However, just as with every good thing, developing and maintaining self-discipline can be a very challenging task. There is never a time when one can safely say that they have mastered self-discipline.

    We keep trying and pushing ourselves every single day for the betterment of our lives, here are some tips that may help:

    Set Clear Goals

    Goals are what differentiate successful people from those that are struggling to make it. Without goals, one just wonders through life. With goals, you shoot through life like an arrow.

    Identify what you want to achieve and why. Write down your goals and create a plan of action to achieve them. Having a clear direction can help you stay focused and motivated.

    Make sure you set goals that are clear, measurable and achievable. There is no point in setting targets that you will not achieve. It is a waste of time and resources.

    Your targets should be in line with your life’s purpose and objectives. They should not depart from your strengths otherwise you may find it difficult to pursue them especially when things become challenging.

    Create a Routine

    Establish daily, weekly and monthly routines that include time for work, exercise, relaxation, and other activities that are important to you. Stick to your routine as much as possible to develop habits that support your goals.

    Having a routine in place will save you lots of time and help improve your daily habits. I know that sometimes routines can be monotonous. Make them interesting to keep you motivated.

    Draw a list of things that you want to accomplish on a daily basis if possible dedicate time to each so that you know exactly at what time you will be doing something.

    At first, of course, you will struggle with your routines, but with time and persistence, you will be able to undertake them with relative ease. Believe me, sometimes it may feel like they are an inconvenience but do them anyway.

    Eliminate Distractions

    Life has many distractions, identify and eliminate the things that distract you from your goals. For example, if social media is a distraction and it can be a big one for sure, limit your time on it or delete the app from your phone.

    Or if indeed the phone is your distraction limit the time you have access to it. Switch it off or put it on silent, only attend to it at specific times.

    There is a rule that if you miss a call the person will call again or they will send you a message if it’s important. Believe me, the amount of time people spend on phones, especially on social media is way too much.

    Practice Good Self-care

    Self-care involves taking deliberate actions to support your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Self-care is basically your overall health.

    Take care of your physical and emotional health. Eat a healthy diet, exercise regularly, get enough sleep, and practice stress management techniques such as meditation or deep breathing.

    The following may help with practising good self-care:-

    Physical Well-being – Take care of your body by getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, drinking enough water, and engaging in regular exercise.

    Emotional Needs – Pay attention to your emotions and take steps to manage stress, anxiety, or other difficult emotions. This might include practising mindfulness, journaling, or seeking support from friends, family, or a mental health professional.

    Social Connections – Connect with others and build supportive relationships. This might involve spending time with friends or family, joining a community group or club, or volunteering.

    Mental Activities – Engage in activities that stimulate your mind and promote personal growth, such as reading, learning a new skill, or pursuing a hobby.

    The world today is full of educational materials that you can find online. Today there should be no excuse for lacking knowledge. 

    Spirituality – Take time to reflect on your values, beliefs, and sense of purpose. This might include practising meditation, attending religious or spiritual services, or spending time in nature.

    Self-care is individual, so what works for me may not necessarily work for you. It is, therefore, important to experiment with different activities and find what works best for you. 

    You must practice self-care, regularly rather than something done only occasionally or in response to a crisis. Remember your health is your wealth. 

    Hold Yourself Accountable

    You need to be accountable for your actions. Set up a system of accountability that works for you. Find ways that will help you to keep tracking your progress, such as sharing your goals with a trusted friend, or working with a coach or mentor.

    This way you will know that at any given time you will have to be answerable to someone. Always give an honest opinion about your progress when doing a review.

    There is a tendency to be economical with the truth when we are doing a personal review. Be as truthful as you can with your self assessment.

    Celebrate Your Successes

    Recognize and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. This will help you stay motivated and build momentum towards your goals.

    It’s the small things that make up the big things. You will not just jump from nowhere to succeed. If it was that simple every one of us would be successful.

    If you succeed in a small way then you can succeed in a double way. You keep building on your previous success to achieve your goals. 

    Conclusion

    Remember that self-discipline is a skill that can be developed over time. Start small and be patient with yourself as you work towards your goals. Develop a never give up mentality if you have to achieve your goals.

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