insakanet

Motivation

  • Develop a Positive Self Image About Yourself

    We all have formed an image of our self in one way or another. I have been doing a personal study of my performance in relation to my personal image.

    The discovery has been phenomenon. I have discovered that the way I view my self has a direct relationship with my task performance and my general life output. I believe that this is true for most of us.

    We live our lives based on our self image. We form our self image based on many factors especially external ones. If your self image is that of a failure or of a loser believe me, you are most likely living a failed or losing life.

    However, the opposite is also true. When am carrying out a task and my personal thoughts are negative the results are also not so encouraging.

    Sometimes I have spent hours and hours on articles only to realise that I have not done a good job and this is mostly because I had a negative feeling about the subject. These articles never find there way on my website.

    It is therefore, important that you create a positive self image if you have to improve your performance.  Having a positive self image is one of the key factors to enhancing your personal growth.

    A positive self image will accelerate your performance levels and speed up your goal attainment process.

    There are times when you just feel negative about something, it is absolutely okay to feel that way. The key is how quickly you turn your negative thoughts into positive ones.

    If you have always had negative thoughts about yourself I encourage you to read the bible for inspiration. There are many books out there but, the bible is the book of life. It is your manual for life. Through it you will begin to see how precious you are in the eyes of God.

    Failure is mostly associated with our negative self image. You have the capacity to change and shape your destiny if only you can change your personal image.

    Change begins with you. If you want to improve your performance and live the life you have always wanted, you must make the mental change to believe that you are the best at what you do and begin to take action.

    You are responsible for your life and should learn to take full responsibility for your actions and current situation. If you are an adult you should not expect a bailout. Just take responsibility and begin to act on making things better for your self.

    “The moment of enlightenment is when a person’s dreams of possibilities become images of probabilities” – Vic Bruden.

    How Do You Change Your Self-image?

    This is perhaps the starting point to your personal growth. You, alone are responsible for creating your self image.

    Its like in a marriage, what you tell your relatives and friends about your spouse is what they will know about her.  If you disrespect her, believe me they will also do the same.

    What you call your spouse in public is what they will call her. So if you want people to respect her you will always endeavour to tell them positive things about her.

    Those of you who are married must take this advice seriously. You will respect her in public regardless of the differences you had at home. Its those that do not value their marriages who will talk negatively about their spouses in public.

    Yes every marriage has its own unique problems and we do not want to bring them out in public.

    The same is true with how you view and portray yourself to people. The more positive and confident you show people the more positive and confident people will see you. People will treat you according to what you give or portray yourself to them.

    But this begins with yourself seeing the many positive things and qualities you possess. Take a sheet of paper and just write out 20 things that you think you are. You will be amazed at what you will write down.

    Yes we fail but that does not mean we should not try again. The most successful people fail many times before they succeed.

    The less successful people give up once they encounter a challenge. Failure to me, is merely an obstacle to be over come.

    Life would be very boring without challenges. Many of the times when we encounter challenges it simply means that there is an opportunity to develop a solution for the challenge.

    If you keep trying and trying things differently you will surely succeed at what you are doing. Fill your mind with positive self images about your self and sooner than later your mind will change the way you look at your self.

    Create a deliberate habit of saying “I like my self” repeatedly every time you feel low emotionally. When you wakeup in the morning ask God to help you focus on the positive things in life.

    Refuse the spirit of negativity and put on the image of positive thinking. Believe that you can complete a task with better results and make time to develop your skill set. Have an open mind to learning new things.

    Always see failure as a challenge and refuse to accept it. Surely changing your self image will make you feel much much happier and definitely help to improve  your performance. When you feel good about yourself you will perform much much better. After all what you want most in life is the feeling of happiness.

    know that you will come across people that will say unpleasant things about you. But you have the ultimate control to either accept or reject them. And besides we all have skeletons in our closets. No one on this earth can claim to be pure.

    It is also beneficial to hang around people that have a positive image about you as this helps to keep you motivated. When you create a positive image about your yourself some how it flows from you and attracts the right people.

    Make a deliberate policy to evaluate your friends some of them may not be very beneficial to your personal growth.

    Maintain the Discipline of Doing What is Right

    You know, there is a good feeling when you do something that is right. The feeling is just awesome. I would not be wrong to say that we all possess the ability to doing the right things.

    There is just something nice when we feel that, what we have done is good. All well meaning people have a conscious that tells us about what we are doing.

    I usually go with my first thoughts or rather my instincts. If am doing a task that am not sure of its effect on society, mostly I back out unless am convinced otherwise. This is not to say that I have never done wrong things before. Believe me I have but, I have learned to take responsibility and help to correct them if I can.

    I am not ashamed to go back and say am sorry let me correct my wrong doing. I have developed the discipline of doing what I think and feel is right especially for my success.

    Self discipline is one of the most difficult traits, but an important one for personal development and growth. We keep fighting every day to do the right things.

    Our minds are always telling us to do the easier things in life than do the most difficult and important things first. Like delayed gratification, we always want to spend money rather than save for the future.

    Honestly, I also struggle on a daily basis with the urge of wanting to do the easy and unimportant things first before moving on to the hard and important tasks. But tell you what, every time I conquer this urge, there is a feeling of joy and satisfaction.

    Developing the discipline of doing the right things first is a good attribute to helping in improving your performance. Doing the right things always makes you feel motivated and proud of yourself.

    Society lucks men and women who can stand up to do the right things even in the advent of criticism. It seems to me that many of us have fallen prey to doing what is popular or trending for fear of being called bad names.

    We would rather be on the same side with the majority even when we know deep down our hearts that what we have done is wrong.

    Conclusion

    “Believe in your self” – Unknown. The essence of personal self image is very critical to personal growth as it is the centre of your performance attribute.

    You should try as much as possible to create a positive self image if you have to fully enjoy your life. Most of the people who have a negative self image are low performers.

    If you are in a leadership position take a closer look at your subordinates performance reports, you will realise that one of the major factors of low performers is as a result of a negative self image.

    The higher performers are more usually confident and have a positive self image about themselves. You should consider helping those that are low performers as this will inadvertently reflect on your leadership skills and enhance your performance as a team.

  • How to Increase Your Emotional Self-Awareness

    “The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wander and stand and rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed” ~ Albert Einstein.

    Emotional self-awareness is the building block of all competencies as mentioned in Daniel Goleman’s model of intelligence, published in 1995.

    Every day, that you wake up you need to recognise what you are feeling in order to move to the next competence level. Self-awareness has three skills, emotional self-awareness; accurate self-awareness, and self-confidence.

    It is very interesting to note that most of us are not very much aware of our emotions.

    When we are not aware of our feelings and emotions, and the causes of them, leading a happy and productive life is difficult if not almost impossible.

    Yes, there may be signs of success such as prestige, money, or career progression and success. But to be truly happy, we must be able to determine what really makes us feel good and what makes us feel bad.

    We cannot be truly happy and productive until we are aware of our feelings and what causes them. The knowledge of our emotional self-awareness is the driving force for our actions.

    When you develop your level of emotional self-awareness, you are able to specifically decipher how you are feeling at any given moment.

    This will help you resolve and know the basis and source of your current feelings. You will also know how your body is reacting.

    I know that becoming aware of your emotions takes practice, if you practice, the ability to note what you are feeling will increase with time.

    Checking Yourself

    The first thing to increasing your emotional self-awareness is to learn how to check yourself. To begin checking your emotions you will need to make time for doing so.

    You need to also know the different kinds of emotions or feelings. You also need to be aware that most if not all emotions are a result of external stimuli.

    Our emotions are our body’s reaction to certain conditions that we have been exposed to.

    I personally do an emotional check in the morning and late in the evening before going to bed. This is besides the monitoring as and when they occur.

    I have developed a skill to quickly monitor my body’s emotions at a particular time in a given situation. But when you first start I suggest you schedule it 3 times a day, that is morning, afternoon and evening.

    It may seem cumbersome in the initial stages but as time goes on you will realise that you will be able to call the skill anytime you feel a strong or distressing or strange feeling.

    I believe that happiness can only be achieved by identifying those feelings that make us feel happy and replacing sad feelings with happy ones.

    Here is how you can check yourself. Sit down quietly, if possible close your eyes, ask yourself the following questions and please ensure that you answer them honestly.

    Remember there is no right or wrong answer you are not competing with anyone.

    • How am I feeling?
    • What am I feeling?
    • Why am I feeling like this?
    • How long have I been feeling like this?
    • Where is the feeling manifesting itself in the body?

    Pay attention to your body language. Some stressing or strong emotions may cause symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, and just general body aches.

    Negative emotions are a health hazard. Learning to check yourself is the key to actually knowing how to handle your emotions. Checking yourself will also give you an accurate idea of how to handle and control your emotions.

    Sometimes, especially when we are angry we tend to react on impulse. If you learn how to handle your anger you will never find yourself in a regrettable situation.

    Write Down Your Feelings

    Once you are aware of your emotions you then need to write them down. I believe there is power in writing. After you have listed them down review them.

    Investigate what triggered them. As you get better at knowing your feeling you can label them whatever you want. Know also that not all feelings are negative.

    I know for sure that most of us will not pay attention to positive feelings but it is also important to have a clear understanding of what the source for these emotions is. This knowledge will come in handy when you want to start isolating and handling your emotions correctly.

    To help with identifying the triggers of your emotions ask yourself the following questions and be sure to be very sincere with your answers.

    Remember you are not competing with anyone and that your reaction will strongly depend upon the answers to the following questions.

    • When did the feeling start?
    • What was I doing or rather what was happening when it started?
    • Has the strength of the emotion changed if so how has it changed?
    • How often has this happened

    The above questions are best answered if you have a tendency to plan your daily activities. I would encourage you to develop among other habits of planning your daily activities.

    This puts you in total control of your time management and also helps increase your emotional self-awareness. If you are in the habit of daily activity planning you may not even realise that you have your emotional self-awareness under control.

    The whole idea of writing down your emotions is to get to the root cause of the feelings. Most of the time we tend to cure the symptoms rather than cure the root cause.

    You see if you know why you are feeling a certain way it is then possible to try and resolve the cause rather than pretend it did not happen.

    Finding out the root cause of the negative feeling does not necessarily mean you are accepting it; no you are merely trying to find a better solution.

    This brings us to the importance of noting down both positive and negative emotions. If the cause is resolvable you would have also resolved the bad or negative feeling.

    Learn to detect your emotion as they happen. Most of the time, our emotions are communicating something to us. You need to take extra caution and pay attention to your emotion as they occur.

    This though does not come overnight but with gradual practice and learning to live consciously, you will be in touch with your emotions and know yourself a lot better.

    Remember that we sometimes feel more than one emotion at a time but each one of them presents information that we can learn more about ourselves.

    Personal development is achieved when we learn more about ourselves and improve on our weaknesses.

    Preparing Your Emotions

    As you continue to build on your emotional self-awareness in the present you will learn to identify the triggers or situations and circumstances that lead to certain feelings.

    Remember it is the skill of knowing what the cause is that will reveal how to handle or avert similar situations that trigger negative emotions. I know for sure that most of us would like to have only positive emotions.

    Unfortunately, this is not the case in life. Life is full of challenges that need to be overcome. It is these challenges that trigger different emotions and reactions that each and every one of us needs to be prepared for.

    Learning to prepare your emotions for an event can help boost your self-confidence among other benefits of having to control yourself better.

    If we know how to handle our emotions we certainly have a better chance of handling failure very well and moving forward. The emotion of frustration is the one driving force to failure.

    If you are doing a project that you seem not to be getting the desired results at the first few attempts, you may begin to feel frustrated.

    It the way you handle this emotion of frustration that will determine your way forward. If handled negatively you are doomed to fail but if handled positively success is in the air for you.

    There are many instances that require us to prepare our emotions for the future. A typical example is when you are going to see your boss say over a disciplinary case or in a meeting where you are called to make a presentation.

    You will need to have your emotions under control in order to achieve the desired results especially if you are in the field of marketing.

    The benefits of knowing and preparing your emotions for the future cannot be over emphasised.

    You need to learn the skill of preparing your emotional self-awareness for greater personal development.

    Self-growth requires that you have greater control of yourself and emotional self-awareness is part of the greater picture.

    Conclusion

    “Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance” ~ Brian Tracy.

    Increasing our emotional self-awareness helps us learn and know more about ourselves.

    Before I close, let me emphasise the importance to note that we can feel different emotions at the same time and even feel as if some of them are conflicting.

    But, always remember that every emotion you feel is for a reason. Success requires that you know and understand yourself very well, this starts with knowing your emotions and the causes.

  • 4 Tips for Self-Improvement

    What would you do if you are trapped in an environment that you do not want to be in?  What if you are sick and tired of your job? What if you are sick and tired of your current situation? What can you do to get out the current dilemma?

    Though not easy, it is possible to take measured, inspired and motivated actions to survive your present situation and live the life you’ve always dreamed of.

    To do this you will have to come out of your comfort zone to discover seize the potential opportunities waiting for you.  You have to conquer your fear and take calculated risks.

    You have to stay focused and persevere despite the difficulties you will encounter.

    Success does not come easy.  It takes heart, passion and time. Experience is always a good teacher and there can never be any better substitute.

    The lessons learned in your everyday life become your foundation. Self-improvement does not come without hard work and perseverance.

    You have to work harder, dig deeper, and sacrifice more to attain your ambitions. But no, you do not have to hate the world and feel bad when you encounter difficult situations. 

    Just remember the Law of Attraction. If you hate the world, the world will hate you back and so if you love the world it will love you back.

    Learn to Love Your Current Situation

    No matter how bad your current situation is, there are some good things in it. See all the positive sides of life. Be enthusiastic. Love your boss, your co-workers, your family, your friends, love whatever it is that you are currently despising. Love attracts goodness and general happiness.

    It may not be easy, but nothing is impossible with a strong will power. Just do not fall in love so much that you totally forget about your dreams. Love, but try to hold on to reality.

    Many of the times we tend to focus on the negatives in a situation. But do you know that there are also a lot of lessons to be learned in your current situation. No matter how bad it seems find the positives and concentrate your efforts on them.

    Balance is Key

    Dream and take some positive action to move you toward your goals. Take it one step at a time. One day at a time. Do not be so engrossed as to forget about other aspects of life. Learn to live a balanced life even as you embark on your journey to success.

    While you are slowly starting on the long journey to success, be patient and be as enthusiastic as possible.  Do not hurry up too much that you totally forget how to enjoy life.

    Appreciate the beautiful things you will encounter on the journey. Always remember that personal development and self-improvement is not a competition. You are not competing with anyone to succeed.

    One day, you will finally attain what you have always longed for.  But when that day comes, do not look down on those who belittled you. Forgive and forget, after all your desire is to be a better person.

    Stay Humble

    Do not criticize others when you see that you are becoming more successful than they are. Try to help them. Helping others is an act of good will. Inject your positive aura into their personalities.

    When you give, you will yield back equal or greater rewards. “It is more blessed to give” ~ the Bible. Always endeavour to give more and more. Give and never expect anything in return.

    Humbleness just like patience is a virtue. Even when you are walking in your success stay humble. I know and have seen some people that have lost their coolness after attaining their success.

    Do not think that you are the only one who can succeed instead try and help others to reach their goals if you can. Always do something that other people will appreciate. Self-improvement is all about making the world a better place by first improving yourself.

    Are You Ready to Begin the Journey?

    Start it with the courage and desire to improve your life. Survive and go through it with persistence, enthusiasm, and positive thinking. Finish it with a resounding bang of accomplishment and with the desire to help others succeed as well.

    Before you begin your journey have a written down plan for your life’s purpose. This should be a guide towards how you will live your life.

    Continue to improve on it and read it every day and believe that you have attained it. Commit your plans to God’s hands and see how wonderful and faithful he is. “

    A journey of 3000 miles begins with one step” ~ Chinese proverb.

    Conclusion

    There are many other self-improvement tips that you will get as you go on with your daily life.

    Take note that you are not alone. There are others in much more difficult situations than you are currently in. That is why there will be no shortage of advice about self-improvement.

    Remember to always stay focused and share love and be compassionate with one another.

  • Your Confidence is Key to Success

    “It’s not the mountain we conquer but ourselves”~ Edmund Hillary.

    “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without confidence” ~ Hellen Keller.

    Success cannot be achieved without confidence. The most successful people are the ones with confidence. You cannot set out to do something and succeed without the backing of confidence.

    If you lack confidence there is a very high likelihood that whatever, endeavours you have embarked on, will not be a success.

    It’s absolutely vital that you develop the confidence and self-belief that you will achieve your goals. Self-belief is very crucial to succeed.

    I am not talking about being arrogant and ignoring feedback from other people and thinking you are infallible or invisible. Am talking about having a balanced view of yourself that does not indulge in false modesty and self-pity, and an inner view that is not strong enough to be crushed and defeated when someone challenges you.

    The thing is; to succeed you must develop the mindset and confidence to achieve your goals.

    If you’re really serious about succeeding you cannot afford to wallow in negative thoughts of “I am not good enough.” Here are a few tips to help with the development of your confidence.

    Positive Self-Talk

    Self-talk is perhaps the most important step towards developing self-confidence. What you tell yourself has more bearing and effect than what other people talk about you.

    Remember you are what you think. The bible says “as a man thinketh so is he in his heart.”

    Develop the attitude of talking positively to yourself. It helps to keep telling yourself that you can do it, you can do it. The Bible says “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” If God is for you, who can be against you?

    Usually, when am working on a task I keep reminding myself of the benefits that accrue when a task is achieved.

    I usually remind myself early in the morning that I can achieve all the tasks that I have laid down. Yes, I will come across obstacles but my mind is prepared for the tasks ahead.

    Sometimes I fail and sometimes I win, but I always learn from my failures and move on. I do not let them take the best out of me.

    You should try having a to-do list every morning and see, how that helps you towards achieving your intended goals.

    “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” ~ the bible.

    This is my prayer every morning. Try personalising the above quote and see how your confidence levels will improve.

    Your Behaviour Matters

    What you think about and what you say to yourself has a profound bearing on your behaviour and on what happens to you.

    Your thoughts, attitudes, and behaviours towards your ability to achieve your goals, have an impact on your expectation of the situation.

    In turn, your expectation will impact the way you behave in a given situation.

    People will always respond to your behaviours.

    “The most powerful forces of nature are the invisible forces, so we find that the most powerful forces of man are his invisible forces, his spiritual force, and the only way in which the spiritual force can manifest is through the process of thinking” ~ the Master Key.

    Am sure we’ve all known someone if not ourselves, who has been worrying about something they have to do and have constantly spoken how badly it’s going to go. 

    When it does go badly they jump and exclaim “I knew” that would happen.

    You see all along they did not realise that they created their own self-fulfilling prophecy. There is power in your thoughts and in your words. Always be mindful of what you say. It is better to keep quiet than say anything.

    Focus on the Things You Do Well

    Take stock of your skills set and attributes that you already possess. In other words, know your weaknesses and strengths and focus on improving your strengths even further.

    This is not to say that you should neglect to improve on your weakness. But focusing on doing the things you do better can highly improve your motivation and confidence levels.

    The idea is when you set out to do a task and accomplish it very well there is a sense of well-being and satisfaction.

    I have listed down some personal questions to help identify your skillset and attributes if you are not sure of them. Write down the answers and keep on reviewing them.

    Please make sure you answer the questions honestly there is no right or wrong answer.

    • What am I good at?
    • What have I received compliments and positive feedback for in the past?
    • What do people value me for? (Compare this with what you value yourself for).
    • What challenges have I overcome in the past?
    • What skills do I possess that have helped me to overcome the challenges?
    • What have I achieved in the past that I perhaps thought I couldn’t?

    “We see things not as they are but as we are” ~ H. M. Tomlinson.

    As human beings, I have noticed that we judge other people by our own standards.

    Believe me, if you have set yourself a high standard that is what you expect to get from other people and nothing less.

    Be Inspired by Other People

    One of the things that have always inspired and given me the confidence to succeed is by looking at and reading about other people who have made it.

    Find yourself some role models whom you admire and whose story of success inspires you.

    A role model does not necessarily have to be alive or known personally. It could be someone you have read about or someone who does not even know you.

    Most successful people have written books about their lives. Find some literature about them and read it.

    A good role model will show you the following attributes

    • Their attitude and approach
    • Where and how they started
    • How they made the most of their abilities
    • How they handle their success
    • How they overcome challenges

    Always remind yourself that these too were or are human beings just like you and I. If they can make it, why shouldn’t you make it?

    Conclusion

    Let me end by emphasising that you cannot succeed without having self-belief and the confidence to carry you on.

    I have not come across a successful person without self-belief and no confidence. I challenge you set out your intended purpose in life and start pursuing it with confidence.

  • The 9 Must Have Life Skills part 3

    Welcome to part 3 of “the 9 must-have life skills.”  This is the final part of the 3 series.

    Let’s start with a quick recap of the past two articles. In part one I mentioned the first three life skills namely, influencing; delegation, and persuasion.

    We went on to describe these in detail click here to read part 1.

    In part two I talked about the next three life skills namely; coaching, feedback, and conflict handling click here to read part 2.

    “A general is just as good or just as bad as the troops under his command make him” ~ General Douglas MacArthur. “A leader is a dealer in hope” ~ Napoleon Bonaparte.

    The last three life skills are the ones that expose your inner being, to the outside world.

    Remember you work from the inside out and not vice versa. You are made of what is inside you.

    You must know that all growth is from within. You cannot give out what you do not have.

    People will only judge you from what they see and how you present yourself to them.

    Presentation

    Presentation is an area that can be a challenge to many of us. We all make judgments by seeing or rather analysing the presentation by a colleague or friend.

    In my own humble definition, I regard presentation as a way of sending and receiving information in a way that makes people want to hear what you are saying or doing.

    Presentation can come in many different forms. In fact, we are always presenting ourselves on a daily basis, be it at work or to our customers, friends, spouses, children and the list is endless.

    Presentation is about getting your message across a section of society. In doing this, you should ask yourself what you want to achieve.

    A good leader should also be a good presenter and a good listener.

    If you are in leadership this is the skill that will influence your team members to appreciate or agree with your philosophies.

    The key to being a good presenter is knowing what you want to achieve.

    To effectively get your message across, it is important to consider these two perspectives;

    •  What do you want to say?
    • What is the expectation of your audience?

    Dale Canergie, once said, “there are always three speeches, for every one you actually gave. The one you practiced, the one you gave, and the one you wished you gave.”

    As I mentioned before, the skill of presentation is mainly to deal with the public.

    The public in this instance are the people you come into contact with every day. If you want to create a lasting impression on people you need to be a good presenter.

    Facilitation

    What is facilitation? This is a life skill that is needed and mostly used in a meeting environment.

    Facilitation is the art and science of helping a group or team in their thinking, planning, and decision-making.

    Imagine the chaos and confusion there would be when you are holding a meeting without a moderator or facilitator.

    Very often we do not realise the knowledge and potential we have within a given grouping or team.

    In many cases, the insights and knowledge needed to resolve problems and or identify innovative ways forward, are just within the team.

    The skill to unlock this potential knowledge and solution in most times is found during facilitation.

    A good facilitator will strike a balance between dominant personalities and those that are less dominant.

    Facilitation mainly focuses on progress rather than arguments.

    It is very common during meetings to drift away from the point being discussed and so it is very important that the facilitator does not lose focus.

    There are 3 main elements to effective facilitation:

    • Focus on the Progress – the key to successful facilitation is to focus on the progress.  To achieve this you need to set the right tone of the meeting and ensure that the participants are motivated from the start to end. You will also need to use your feedback life skills to ensure that information is flowing smoothly and at the end of it all, a consensus has been built.
    • Interpersonal Skills – to manage progress you need not only keep things on track but, also need to use good interpersonal skills. These will include having a good command of; rapport building; effective communication verbal and non-verbal; listening actively and how you use your question technique.
    • Personal Characteristics – we all have different characteristics though I feel that the following are a must-have to achieve better facilitation; ability to learn; sensitivity; openness to change; self-awareness; friendliness and off-course some sense of humour.

    Team Meetings

    The last and final life skill set is rather not a skill but something I feel should be acquired in your life “team meetings.”

    As a leader, you will need to have regular meetings with your team or group.

    The key to an effective team meeting is to know why the meeting is being held.

    So before you call for a meeting ensure that your mind is clear and certain as to why you are calling for the meeting.

    In other words, prepare an agenda and circulate it beforehand if possible.

    I will not go into details of what a meeting should be but they could be formal or informal.

    As a leader only hold meetings when necessary. I have worked in companies where meetings are held unnecessarily.

    Meetings if not well planned for can be a share waste of company time as they take away the time for doing other duties.

    The best way is to have planned meetings with set targets. Only “bosses” call for unnecessary meetings.

    Another key factor is to call only people you think need to be present or will make a worthwhile contribution.

    You see when you call for a meeting it is your reputation at stake. Make sure you build a reputation for handling meetings very well.

    Leading team meetings effectively requires a wide range of skills.

    These skills could include the ability to focus on how the meeting is progressing and blending it with your own interpersonal life skills and characteristics.

    To achieve this you need to build your knowledge base and step out of the box.

    In fact, let’s just say remove the box altogether; think about what you are doing as a group and get a lot of practice.

    Conclusion

    I hope you have learned something from the three series I will end with a Chinese proverb ~ “Tell me and I will forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I’ll understand.”

  • The 9 Must Have Life Skills Part 2

    Welcome to part 2 of “the 9 must have life skills.” In part 1 I talked about the first three life skills namely; the skill of influencing; the skill of delegation and the skill of persuasion.

    As mentioned in part 1 this article will be more of help to those in a leadership role.

    “Leadership does not always wear the harness of compromise” ~ Woodrow Wilson.

    In this article, we will look at the next 3 life skills. You may wonder why I call them life skills and not leadership skills, this is because we are all born leaders and we have these skills in us.[the_ad id=”72155″]

    The skills are listed randomly even though they are related.

    The Skill of Coaching

    This is perhaps one of the most critical skills to have in relation to delegation. If you are in a leadership position you will or may have delegated some work to your subordinate(s) and the most critical area is to have confidence in your colleague.

    The only way confidence can be created is by way of coaching. You will only have confidence in someone if you know that they were properly coached and more especially if the coaching was done by you.

    By definition “coaching is a process which supports people in developing their skills and achieving their skills.” The subject of coaching is a wide one that needs a dedicated article. I promise to do more research on this topic.

    There are several approaches to coaching and they all tend to be in agreement that it involves:[the_ad id=”72155″]

    • Activities to develop someone’s skills and abilities. This could be either on a one on one or group basis.
    • Developing targets that are both individual and group-oriented. This is very common in sports-related activities.
    • Focus on improving performance, this could be individual or team.

    I believe the skill of coaching is equally important even in parenting. These days our children are very clever and they need to be coached in order to get the maximum benefit from their academic work.

    The speed at which they learn is amazingly fast and as a parent, you just need to keep up with them. A good leader should be able to coach, that is imparting some of his skills to his colleagues.

    A good leader is judged by how knowledgeable and skilled his team members are. If you are a leader you will be judged by the results your team is achieving.

    Feedback

    Feedback is inter-linked with the skill of coaching. I regard feedback as a form of communication. Feedback serves two main purposes:

    • Motivation – when a team is performing well, feedback can increase confidence and encourage the team to perform at the same high or even higher level.
    • Correction – this is also true when a team is not performing at the expected level, feedback can be used to assess how to change and improve performance for the better.

    This skill (feedback) can be very critical in the following instances;

    • When providing coaching support. At this point, there is feedback from both the coach and the student. As coaching involves the setting of goals the student has to give feedback on the progress and what difficulties are being encountered. The coach also has to give feedback on the modification of the program if need be.
    • Reviewing how a delegated activity is progressing. When you delegate work there is a need for feedback from both ends to ascertain that the job is being done correctly and the person delegated has understood the instructions.
    • Conducting management reviews and appraisals. In a work environment as a leader, you will be required to conduct employment appraisals for your juniors. Appraisals are a two-way assessment. The person being assessed gives feedback to his appraiser and vice versa.
    • Handling conflict – this is discussed below.
    • Facilitating – this is also discussed in part 3.

    For feedback to be appreciated it has to be positive. The following are a few tips for ensuring positive feedback:

    • Feedback has to be specific and to the point.
    • Feedback has to be fair and sincere. This will ensure maximum or intended results to be achieved with minimum difficulty.
    • Feedback should be descriptive and focused on action and not on an individual.
    • Feedback can also be futuristic. This is especially important for corrective feedback.

    Remember that feedback is a very vital skill for both good leaders and managers.

    The Skill of Conflict Handling

    The final skill to be dealt with in this part is the skill of handling conflicts. I would be safe to assume that every one of us has had to resolve some feud of some sort. It doesn’t matter how it was resolved but it was done.

    Conflict handling is vital to all human beings whether in leadership roles or not. Yet this is one skill that many of us do not want to have or use. A good leader should know how to resolve conflicts among his team members. This is vital because unresolved conflicts can be very detrimental to the team as a whole.

    The first step in handling conflicts is to be aware of the possible reason behind the conflict. A mini investigation can be conducted to ascertain the cause. By definition, some conflicts are easier to handle than others. Some cases can be very difficult to handle that you may require a third party to help resolve them.

    Firstly you need to understand as the person in charge that conflict is not necessarily a bad thing. There are bound to be conflicts where two or more people are gathered.

    You will also appreciate that if conflicts are resolved properly they can add a lot of motivation to the group, by making the team understand each other even better.

    There are however different approaches to handling conflicts. I know for sure that most of us do not want to handle conflicts or would rather find the easy way out. Unfortunately, there is no shortcut.

    I believe that conflicts have to be faced or handled head-on. Whichever method is used please ensure that the parties involved are satisfied with the resolution. I know that it is impossible to please all but always look at the bigger picture and what is beneficial to the aggrieved parties.

    Conclusion

    I feel that the topic on coaching has not been done much justice. I will be writing a whole article on this very challenging topic so you can have an insight of what coaching is all about.

    “I believe that the mind-set that allows you to spend your working life thinking and congratulating people rather than being unpleasant to them is the mainstay of good leadership” ~ Tim Waterstone.

    The skill of coaching is a must-have for all. Look out for part 3.

  • Tick Toke, Tick Toke, Time is Ticking

    “Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff that life is made of” ~ Benjamin Franklin.

    Tick toke, tick toke the clock is ticking, never backwards but always forward. You want it or not; like it or not; believe it or not, time does not wait for anybody.

    Time is no respecter of persons. If God is an unfair God then he has been very generous and fair to all of us by giving us 24hrs to be utilized in a day.

    It does not matter whether you are rich or poor, black or white, able-bodied or physically challenged whatever and where ever you may be, we all share the same hours of the day and that is 24hrs.

    No single person or country is more privileged than the other to have more or less hours.

    The first quarter of the year has but gone, ask yourself what you have achieved as against what you have intended to achieve by the end of the year.

    Many of us will not realize that we have achieved very little or nothing at all. If you are in this bracket stop and take a serious inventory of yourself.

    I am not perfect either but am consoled by the fact that I have achieved most of my monthly targets. Certain things have happened to me that may have derailed my progress but I take them as challenges rather than as problems.

    Look Forward

    We all have lost time at some point in our lives. The key is how you get up and recover it. There is so much to look forward to for me than to look at spilled milk.

    Yes, sometimes I have lost a lot of time, but I always encourage myself by rereading my written down intended life’s purpose on a regular basis.

    This gives me a sense of purpose to live for. I imagine and appreciate the life ahead of me and how comfortable it will be. My written down “intended life’s purpose” is one of the motivating factors.

    Whatever is done is done and whatever has not been done has to be done. If you are to become a better person and an achiever you need to improve on how to utilize your time.

    Time management is of the essence. Great men and women are those that have learned and mastered how to manage the precious commodity called time.

    If there is anything that has to be taught or learned at an early stage in life it is time management. Unfortunately, our education system does not teach us how to manage and utilize time. How I wish this could be introduced in our schooling systems.

    Sometimes I feel that most of what we learn from our schools is irrelevant in our lives. Most of the stuff does not apply. What a waste of time and resources.

    Please this does not mean you should not get an education. You need it. When you wake up every morning, regardless of your circumstances, look forward to getting started with the day. There is so much waiting for you out there. Always look forward to enjoying the day.

    Have Courage

    “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage” ~ Anais Nin. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be discouraged” ~ the Bible.

    In order to succeed at anything, you need to be bold and courageous. You will need to take bold steps.  Some steps will of course trample on other people’s toes, but if it is the right thing to do just do it. Warning, PLEASE DO NOT CREATE ADVERSARIES.

    I will be very honest here, some decisions I have made have actually offended other people. But under the circumstances, they were about the best choices I have made in my life.

    These choices have been life-changing and over time wounds have been healed. As a human being, you are bound at some point in life to make some tough decisions.

    Like, I always say decisions have to be made. Wrong or right. It could be resigning from your current job; it could be cutting links with some of your old mates or any other life-changing decisions. It has to be done.

    It could be that you are wasting time in your current job and are not progressing. Please be wise and pray over it before you make those life-changing decisions.

    Have a master plan for your life, especially if you are married and have children to support.

    Conclusion

    If you have a plan to do something just do it. Many of the time we spend a lot of time procrastinating and let our good plans go to waste.

    If I can recall, I’ve had so many plans on how to make money and most of them have gone down the drain.

    Not because they were not viable ideas but because they were not even tested. I know that this describes some of you.

    Lastly, we must all endeavor to learn and appreciate how to manage our time this is the only way to ensure personal development and self-improvement.

  • How Being Positive Influences Your Direction of Goal Achievements

    “When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge” ~ Albert Einstein.

    If you are a person who wants to achieve something worthwhile in your life, you must have set yourself some goals.

    Then you should ask yourself what drives you to your goal achievement? If you have not set your goals, well this is about time to reflect and set them.

    Achieving your goals is largely a matter of your attitude which can either be positive or negative. Your attitude has an influence on the outcome of your success.

    We know that you become what you think about most of the time, and what you think about helps shape your character and forms your habits.

    It is these habits; these small little things that you do or fail to do every day that moves you towards or far from achieving your written down life’s intended purpose.

    My goal achievement is largely moved by the positive small things that I have to do every single day.

    If we know that having a positive state of mind has a big influence on our goal achievement then it is important we also know how to make and keep our minds positive and focused.

    Having a Positive Mental Attitude

    “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude” ~ Thomas Jefferson.

    This is perhaps the key to your success. We all know that a positive mental attitude is a requisite to the success of your goal achievement.

    I am pretty sure that you have been told before to have a positive mental attitude if you have to succeed at what you are doing.

    Studies have been made to show that 85% of everything that a person would accomplish or obtain, be it finances; prestige; status, and recognition after they left Harvard University would be based on their attitude and that only 15% would be based on their aptitude and ability.

    If you have to be successful in life then you cannot avoid having a positive mental attitude.

    You see, successful goal achievement begins with having the right frame of mind. There is no way, you will succeed if you are always negative about what you are doing.

    Cultivate or rather develop a positive mind towards your life and all things will naturally fall into place according to your plans.

    I have noticed that every time I expect something to happen I always develop an attitude towards achieving my expectation and believe me the results are always almost perfect.

    Notice also that if you expect something to turn out well, you will have a positive mental attitude and if you expect something to turn out otherwise you will have a negative mental attitude.

    The only explanation I can give is that there is a correlation between expectation and attitude. Therefore, attitude is a product of expectation.

    Your attitude is largely dependant on your expectation. You will agree with me that winners have a tendency of manufacturing positive expectations in advance before the actual outcome. They see themselves as winners even before they are.

    I guess that the expectation of something happening has a direct influence on your attitude. I encourage you, therefore, to live a life of positive expectation.

    Always expect something you planned for to happen. This is the only way you will have a positive mental attitude that will help drive you towards your goal achievement.

    “If you don’t like something, change it, if you can’t change it, change your attitude” ~ Maya Angelou.

    Having a Success Mindset

    “If you advance confidently in the direction of your dreams and endeavour to live the life which you have imagined, you will meet with success unexpectedly in common hours” ~ Henry David Thoreau.

    Perhaps the key question here would be; what is a success mindset? Having a success mindset is seeing; living and feeling success even before it is achieved.

    Remember that all achievement begins with the conditioning of your mind. Having a success mindset will surely help you in your goal achievement.

    When you condition your mind in such a way that you think, feel and live success, believe me, your goal achievement will be sooner rather than later.

    Even just the feeling of happiness and wellbeing is enhanced. Having a success mindset just takes you to another level.

    I don’t know what it is you want to achieve in your life, but whatever it is, tune your mind and begin to see and feel successful.

    Imagine yourself living the life of your dreams; the feeling and the emotion this brings to are so real. This will surely motivate you to work even harder for your goal achievement.

    However, be aware that having a success mindset does not necessarily mean you should stop working. I believe that there is no substitute for hard work.

    “There is no secret to success it the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure” ~ Colin Powell.

    Overcome Negative Habits

    “Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ~ Frank Outlaw.

    Remember that our daily habits contribute immensely towards our goal achievement. It is, therefore, very important that you know or rather overcome negative habits that have a detrimental effect on your goal achievement.

    It may be of help to know that your brain has two sides, the conscious and the subconscious. The conscious is the part that takes in data from the environment and processes it.

    It is the link between the inside world and the outside world. The conscious is the thinking part of the brain. The conscious mind can only hold one thought at a time, that is positive or negative; yes or no.

    Whenever the conscious mind has made a decision the subconscious mind accepts it instantly and acts on it. Decisions can be negative or positive, yes or no.

    The subconscious mind stores the processed data from the conscious mind. They say the conscious mind is the gatekeeper for the subconscious mind.

    You will notice that most of the habits we have developed are acted upon unconsciously. Different people will react differently in the same environment.

    This is dependent on what the subconscious mind has been fed. I can safely say that all our habits sit on the subconscious mind. It is therefore very important to guard what we feed the subconscious mind.

    I know for sure that some negative habits are hard to get rid of. But through persistent training of the conscious mind, you can change the perception of the subconscious mind.

    Scientists say the mind does not sleep even when the body is asleep. This only illustrates how powerful the mind is and what role it plays in our goal achievement process.

    The value of the subconscious is enormous; the subconscious inspires us; it warns us; it furnishes us with names, facts, and scenes from the storehouse of memory.

    Conclusion

    Personal success and development cannot be achieved with a negative mindset. Having a positive mindset is one of the key elements to moving towards your goal achievement.

    “Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of the blueprint of your ultimate achievements” ~ Napoleon Hill.

    We should all endeavour to cultivate a positive mind if we have to achieve our success.

  • When You Have the Will, the Sky is the Limit

    The capability of conscious choice, decision and intention; is called the will; “the exercise of their volition we construe as revolt”– George Meredith.

    In other words, we all exercise the will to do things at our own volition. Every one of us has the power and will to do something.

    The power of choosing; the faculty or endowment of the soul by which it is capable of choosing; the faculty or power of the mind by which we decide to do or not to do; the power or faculty of preferring or selecting one of two or more objects; is the will.

    If you want to achieve something meaningful with your life, develop a strong desire for it. If you want money, develop a strong desire for money.

    When you have the will to achieve something, nothing can stop you. Nothing can stand in your way; only the sky is the limit.

    God gave each and every one of us the determination to succeed.

    To succeed you need to have the desire; the determination; the resolve and the will to take action. The will is what powers you. It is what drives you to continue taking action, that is why they call it willpower.

    The strength of your mind should always be kept at an optimum level. To achieve this you need to feed your mind with the right material.

    You need to have the right mental attitude for every situation that you encounter. If you want peace in your life, your mind must always be thinking peace.

    The most common mistake most people make is not possessing what they want, in their mind. You will not achieve personal development if your mind is not thinking about personal development.

    Your mind is the centre of all creation. You are who you are because of what you think about most of the time.

    How can you enjoy happiness if your mind is always thinking negatively? Change your mind and you will surely experience change.

    Do Not Limit Yourself

    The biggest obstacle to your progress is yourself. Often times we obstruct ourselves from reaching our full potential. We give up when we are faced with challenges. But do you realise that the darkest hour is just before dawn?

    When you are about to hit Gold that’s the time when things look like they are crumbling down. It is usually the darkest of periods. But I have learned that that is actually the time to hold on even more. It is time to persevere.

    Look, to reach your full potential you must move from the bottom to going up. You must move from being a doubter to being a believer.

    Personal growth demands that you learn the ropes from the bottom up. You do not start climbing a tree from the top.

    If you climb from the top, the only other way to go is either sideways or down. If you are going sideways it means there is no growth taking place and of course, downs means you are falling.

    I have learned that before every growth level there are challenges to be overcome. These challenges are a test of your character and the will to persist. They are building you for what is coming next. However, you need to know how to navigate through them.

    In my life, I have struggled with so many things, but I have not allowed my struggles to hold me down from pursuing my personal objectives. I have pledged to do everything I can to achieve my personal objectives.

    In dark times I always ask God to help me change the things I can change. This way I concentrate my energies on what I can change and allow God to do the rest and he is always faithful.

    “The men who succeed are the efficient few. They are the few who have the ambition and will power to develop themselves” – Herbert N. Casson.

    Celebrate Your Small Victories

    We all have experienced success in one thing or the other. The key to staying focused on your goals, which is the bigger picture, is to celebrate your small victories. If possible document them and make a reference to them every now and again.

    This will always help you stay motivated and encouraged to work extra hard to experience the feeling of success again.

    I have found that completing a task on time is very fulfilling for me. Am very happy and proud of myself every time I produce an article for this website.

    That nice feeling of having to complete a task drives me to even do more. Yes, I know that sometimes I get bogged down with other things, but I always look forward to being inspired to writing again.

    Success is made up of the small victories that we pick up along the way. You should learn to give yourself a pat on the back when you have achieved or completed a task that you set out to do. Completing the small tasks leads you to your main goal.

    Conclusion

    “If I had to select one quality and one personal characteristic that I regard as being most highly correlated with success, whatever the field, I would pick persistence and determination.

    The will to endure to the end, to get knocked down seventy times and get up off the floor saying, Here comes number seventy-one” – Richard M. Devos.

    Always remember that when you have the will, the sky is the limit.

  • Do Not Underestimate the Power of Your Actions

    There is power in your actions just as there is power in your tongue. The two are synonymous. You should always be mindful of what you say or do.

    Most people underestimate the power that God has deposited in each and every one of us. Within you, there is more than sufficient energy and willpower to achieve anything that you set your mind on.

    “Once you have mastered time, you will understand how true it is that most people overestimate what they can accomplish in a year – and underestimate what they can achieve in a decade!” – Tony Robbins.

    It is, therefore, important that you realise it and stop underrating yourself. One of the reasons why we do not progress and achieve our goals is because we underestimate ourselves.

    People think they cannot achieve certain things because they do not have such and such. If you are thinking like that, it is a sign of inferiority complex. Please get rid of it.

    God created us equal and it does not matter whether you are black or white; rich or poor. Remove the colour of your skin and we all have the same blood running through our veins.

    I have never seen anyone with white or black blood. We all have red blood in our veins.

    We all breathe the same air. The sun shines on all humanity regardless of the locality and colour of your skin.

    Darkness falls on both the rich and the poor. Everyone enjoys the same seasons depending on your locality. There are 24hrs in a day for all. Someday each and every one of us will die. Why then do you underestimate the power of your actions?

    Every great man or woman knows that every action they take leads to something. That is why it is important that you learn to take decisive actions with your life.

    Yes, I know that sometimes our actions may seem not to be right with everyone at the time. But nature requires us to do the right things.

    Some of the things I learned from my late Dad seemed very harsh then. But fast forward I realise that they are now very useful for my survival.

    I learned at an early age in life to be independent. My Dad taught me to be more independent. Well, back then it looked like punishment.

    Of course, as a young man, I would have loved to be a little bit more spoiled.

    But equipped with more knowledge now, I think It would have been a challenge for me to be a more responsible person if I was spoiled.

    Your Every Action Builds Your Character

    Society will always judge you by your actions, simply because this is what they see. They are not preview of your thoughts and feelings.

    Most of the time they will misunderstand your actions. But always remember that for every action you make there is an equal reaction.

    Some will be positive and others will be negative reactions. Stay your course and do what you think is right. I always tell my children that when they do the right things no one is going to bother them. They will be at peace with everyone.

    No matter how small your deeds may be, do not underestimate the power they carry. It may just be saying thank you to a stranger for helping you.

    That one small deed can go a long way to making someone happy and feel appreciated.

    I remember one time at church as I was on duty, I offered one of my team members a cup of coffee. For me, it was just extending a good gesture to a teammate.

    I was very touched to find out a few weeks later that it was the only meal he had for that particular day.

    You are a sum total of the small things that you do. Your character is built and formed by the little things you do on a daily basis. So matter how small or insignificant you think your actions are, do not underestimate them. You never know who is watching.

    Life is Work In Progress

    My life is a continuous work in progress. I don’t think there will ever be a time when things will just happen on auto pilot. I have to constantly keep pushing myself and find ways of improving.

    Everyday of my life, it dawns on me that am aging and I have to learn how to do certain things as am aging. When I look at people who are really advanced in age and cannot do the very things they used to do when they were much younger. I realise that actually life is a work in progress.

    At every stage you have to learn, just when you think you have mastered one thing another challenge comes along.

    That is why you must quickly learn to become a student of yourself. You may not have the same energy to achieve your goals in the next few years.

    They say make hay when its summer because you cannot make it when winter comes. In order to move in tandem with this world you must learn to evolve.

    Develop ideas on how you can change your way of life and remain relevant to the core. The more relevant you are the more you can contribute positively to humanity.

    For as long as am able to, it is my intention to continue contributing in my own small way to the cause of personal development and self growth.

    I will try and write on topics that are relevant and will continue learning and finding more ways of delivering my messages. I will simply not give up. Not just yet.

    Confidence Comes From Experience

    You can overcome your fears and flaws by gaining experience. Experience is gained through practice.

    Take the example of driving a car. The first time you do it, you are gripped with fear and are nervous. You are lacking in confidence and make a lot of mistakes on the road.

    The more you practice the more confident you get. After a number of times driving, you are so much confident that you do not even think about it. Even when you make mistakes you are not bothered that much.

    Before you gain confidence you will fall and sometimes bruise your self. But if you persist you will soon get the hang of it and your confidence will soon be more than your fear.

    To apply the principle of improving your confidence the following could be of great use. Identify the areas of your life that are outside your comfort zone.

    Take a step by ensuring that you venture into your un comfortable zone. The first time will feel very awkward.

    It will not be easy the first time and believe me it will not be perfect either. Go on and continue doing it and you will eventually get the hang of it.

    Remember that it is not practice that makes perfect but, imperfect practice that results in perfectness.

    Conclusion

    “Never underestimate the potential and power of the human spirit”.

    Your actions are responsible for shaping your character. If you want to build a good reputation you need to guard your heart jealously as this is the source of your actions.

    The bible says “as a man thinketh so is he in his heart”.  It is also says “you shall know them by their fruits”. We do not just act from without. We react with what we have. Remember to “never underestimate the power of your actions”.

Powered by
►
Necessary cookies enable essential site features like secure log-ins and consent preference adjustments. They do not store personal data.
None
►
Functional cookies support features like content sharing on social media, collecting feedback, and enabling third-party tools.
None
►
Analytical cookies track visitor interactions, providing insights on metrics like visitor count, bounce rate, and traffic sources.
None
►
Advertisement cookies deliver personalized ads based on your previous visits and analyze the effectiveness of ad campaigns.
None
Powered by