We live our lives based of the choices and decisions we make every day. The choices and decisions we make largely determine the quality of the lives we live.
If you choose to be happy, you will live a happy life; if you choose to be negative you will be negative, but whatever you decide to do, the choice is yours.
You are currently in this situation largely because of the choices you have made previously. You are living your choice. Stop blaming others and do something to change it.
You are totally responsible for the decisions you make. God gave us the ability to make our own decisions. We are expected to be responsible for the decisions we make and endure the consequences.
Unfortunately, many of us live in denial of being responsible for the state of our lives. We always want to blame someone for not being supportive or doing something about it.
How do you expect someone to do something about your situation when you made the wrong decision? You made the wrong choice. Look, I believe that God allows certain things to happen to us in order that we may learn from them. Experience is a good teacher.
Most of the time we neglect the good counsel we are given. When people come with good advice we are quick to ignore or even rebuke them. “I know what am doing. It’s my life after all.” These are some of the most common answers we give.
People always want to give an excuse when they fail. We cry and complain to say “why me” O Lord. But, let’s face it, if not “you” then who? We only want to be credited with the positive things we do.
The same energy you apply when things are going right should be applied even in your trying times. In fact, you must double that energy during your trying times.
The Blame game will not change your current situation it will only make things worse. If you are facing difficulties in your marriage go and seek professional help, make the decision and quit complaining about your spouse.
If it’s financing you want, start a side hustle, no matter how small it may be, learn the ropes and get busy with it. At least get started. Yes, you will fail but one day you will look back and say I have come from very far.
Life has taught me that, to make meaningful progress, you need to realise that you are totally responsible for your choices and the decisions you make. This will help you make better decisions and take corrective action where necessary.
Taking responsibility may sound harsh but, that is just the reality of life. If you are not happy with your current lifestyle, it is your duty and responsibility to change the situation. You have the power within, to make the right choices.
If you wait for someone to come and change it for you, most likely you will wait forever.
Look no one has the right to force you to go against your free will without your permission. You are made of the things you do and not the things that happen to you. Yes you will stumble, every now and again that’s life but stumbling is not what makes you.
What makes you is that which makes you stand up when you stumble. Just because your friends have invited you to attend a party does not mean you should attend. You have a choice either to attend or not.
If you have a goal to achieve stay home and work on it. True friends will always support your endeavours. Surely there will be more parties to attend when you succeed.
Create Personal Boundaries and Take Responsibility
Humans by nature are social beings. This means that we are tolerant of other beings. We want to have a sense of belonging. That is why family and friendships are important. We want to have a safety net. A place where we feel safe.
Most of the time especially in our teens we are easily influenced by our peers and join in everything we think is cool just to fit in a certain group.
This leads us to lose our personal boundaries and allows people to control our lives. I remember being in the same dilemma for a long time. I know that many of us have experienced peer pressure at some point.
When you allow people to cross your personal boundaries you lose yourself. You lose your personal Identity.
That is why it is important to maintain and guard your personal space it is your property. It is your responsibility to ensure that you are in charge of your boundaries.
It is difficult to re-create boundaries especially when you have lost them, but it is worth fighting for. Do not let other people be responsible for your well-being. Let your “No” be “No” and your “Yes” be “Yes” nothing less nothing more.
Sometimes we lose our boundaries by being over-responsible for other people’s needs especially our children. We want to be involved in everything they do and take responsibility for them. We want to be responsible for their happiness, success, and their life in general.
Well, in as much as we have to be involved in the many aspects of their lives, especially when they are still young, we have to have a limit. They are individual human beings and at some point in life, they will have to move on. You do not want to have a 25 years old baby in your house.
Depending on how old they are, allow them to make certain choices and let them take responsibility for their actions. When my eldest son was about 5 years I had trained him in such a way that we could go shopping and he would not through tantrums crying for toys.
When it was time to buy toys I would take him to a toy shop and tell him to choose 1 or 2 toys. The funny part is that even as a small boy he would start negotiating with me to get him more toys because 1 or 2 were just not enough.
I would stick to the agreed number and that the choice is entirely his to make. Of course, I would chip in to advise but I allowed him to make the final decision.
The catch was to make him own the toys and be responsible for them. This way every time the toys stopped working and he comes crying, I would tell him it was his choice. Eventually, I noticed that he would take my advice most of the time. Now he is a big boy.
Exercise Your Power Wisely
The ability to choose and make your own decisions is powerful. It should not be taken lightly. This power is uniquely yours and never allow anyone to get it away from you.
Be in control of your life by making wise informed decisions. To live a happy life, you need to learn how to make decisions and choices that are beneficial in both the short and long run. Be in control of your life by choosing what you do every day.
When you are faced with difficult challenges in life take a break and don’t make hasty decisions. Think about how you will be affected in the medium to long term; think about the impact your decision will have on your immediate family.
If possible consult your spouse and children, let them have an input after all we spend most of the time working for them.
Listen to their concerns and fears. But ultimately you will have to make that decision bearing in mind the information you have gathered from your immediate family.
Personal development and self-improvement demands that you are responsible for the decisions and choices you make.
You have the power and ability to make your own choices and decisions that will affect or change your life. Let no one take away that power and responsibility from you. Make those decisions and choices today and kick start your life.