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  • Self-Belief is Key to Personal Development and Success

    “Believe in yourself” – Unknown. “First say to yourself what you want to be; then do what you have to do” – Epictetus.

    Have faith in yourself. Without reasonable confidence in your own powers, you cannot be successful or happy. But with sound confidence, you can succeed.

    Self-belief is a very important and key is in achieving personal development and success. Most of us fail because of the disbelief we have in ourselves.

    The biggest difference between failure and success is the level of self-belief and confidence exude.

    Here are a few tips that can help enhance your self-belief.

    Positive Affirmations

    “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” – the Bible. This is one of my favourite quotes. For me, this is the magic sentence.

    Every time I feel down and out; when everything else has failed and I need to get on. I always remember that “I can do all things through Christ…” Believe me, it works for me.

    I know that we all fall down sometimes in our lives but the most important thing is how you get up. One best way to help you improve your self-belief is to use positive affirmations.

    Keep telling yourself, you can do it, you can do it, you can do it. This will build some form of self-belief and the results can be amazing.

    To get more benefits from positive affirmation you need to change your mindset from being negative to positive. Look at the positive side of everything.

    Encourage yourself to believe more in yourself. Positive affirmation requires that you change your way of thinking from “I can’t,” to “I can,” remember the magic sentence?

    Many of the time we let great opportunities pass by because of our negative and mediocre thinking. We lack the courage and are ill-prepared when opportunities come around.

    There is power in positive thinking and affirmations. The bible says “as a man thinketh so is he in his heart.” “You shall know them by their fruits” – the Bible.

    This goes to show how important our thoughts can influence our well being. Change your thoughts with positive affirmations.

    “Carefully watch your thoughts, for they become your words. Manage and watch your words, for they will become your actions. Consider and judge your actions, for they have become your habits. Acknowledge and watch your habits, for they shall become your values. Understand and embrace your values, for they become your destiny” – Mahatma Gandhi.

    Know Yourself

    The starting point for your journey of self-development is you the person you see in the mirror. Yes, know yourself, your likes and dislikes, preferences and skills; it is the very basic need for your self-development.

    Here I have listed a few tips that can help you know yourself better:-

    • Journalise and diarise your daily activities. This will help you analyse the events and how you reacted to them.
    • Look in the mirror and notice what you see. Yes seems funny but most of us have never noticed what is in the mirror. That’s you a “millionaire” in the waiting. A champion in the making.
    • Get feedback on your work and behaviour from the people around you especially your colleagues at work. In order that you have a balanced view, ask your critics as well. I have a belief that in order to make a good leader you need both sets of people, that is those you can easily influence and those that can stand up to your face and tell you no when you go wrong. Often times this is lacking in our leaders.
    • Study your relationships and how they make you feel. You may realise that no man is an island. We all have some sort of relationship be it at work or home. Relationships play a very significant role in a person’s life. Those in more strong healthy relationships exhibit some level of stability than those in unhealthy ones.

    Have Positive Expectations

    Numerous experiments have confirmed that when you expect the best oftentimes, you get it and when you expect the worst the same will come to pass.

    So at the start of any enterprise or at the start of a day or start of the year or season, look forward with the expectation of the very best. Here is a quote from Kalidasa (Indian dramatist).

    Look to this day For it is life, the very life of life; In its brief course Lie all the verities and realities of your existence The bliss of growth The glory of action The splendour of beauty For yesterday is but a dream And tomorrow is only a vision But today well lived makes every yesterday A dream of happiness And every tomorrow a vision of hope Look well therefore to this day! Such is the salutation to the dawn.

    This is a life-changing poem. In a nutshell, we must look forward to today and enjoy it in a positive and constructive way, because tomorrow we will reflect on it and have happy memories.

    Like the man who had too many lemons and turned them into lemonade, or the man who bought a snake-infested land and learned how to make snakeskin into shoe leather, every seemingly negative situation can be turned around into something positive. You must learn to turn negative situations into positive ones.

    Mix With Positive People

    One of the biggest drains on our enthusiasm is mixing with negatively-minded people. I am sure we all have come across or have such people in our lives. Try this out and see what the results will be for you. Identify someone who has a positive attitude towards life and one who has a negative attitude, spend some time with both of them at separate intervals, and note what you will be feeling after spending some time with either of them.

    According to my results, I feel more at peace and relaxed with the positive person than the negative one. Positivity is actually infectious. The more time you spend positively the more confident and happy you feel.

    You have two choices though if you want to survive being positive; avoid them, this though I would not encourage or better still train them and they will appreciate you when then get over it and you will have made the world happier by one person.

    Conclusion

    Perhaps the greatest gift in human history is the discovery of the power of your mind to create almost every aspect of your life. You see, everything you can visibly see was conceived in the mind of someone as a thought or an idea before being translated into being. Your thoughts are creative; your thoughts form and shape everything around you. Think about your goals and have belief in yourself.

  • Living Consciously

    “Would you bring into your life more power? Get the power consciousness; more health? Get the health consciousness; more happiness? Get the happiness consciousness.”

    Live the spirit of these things until they become yours by right. It will then become impossible to keep them away from you.

    Our consciousness has a direct bearing on our moods and the kind of life we are leading.

    When you become conscious of a situation it does usually come to pass. Living consciously is one of the powerful ways to achieve your life’s purposes.

    The Power of Consciousness

    Consciousness is a powerful tool and this powerful tool lies within each one of us. The power of consciousness cannot be measured.

    It is immense. It all starts with the mind. When the creative power of thought is fully understood, its effect will be seen to be marvellous.

    But such results cannot be secured without proper application, diligence, and concentration.

    Abundance, therefore, depends upon recognition of the laws of Abundance, and the fact that Mind is not only the creator, but the only creator of all there is.

    The whole world is on the eve of a new consciousness, a new power, and a new realization of the resources within itself.

    Day by day as you go on and on with your life, as you gain momentum, as your inspiration deepens, as your plans crystallise, as you gain understanding, you will come to realize that this world is no dead pile of stones and timber, but that it is a living thing!

    It is made up of the beating hearts of humanity. It is a thing of life and beauty.

    Your mind is creative, and conditions, environment, and all experiences in life are the result of your habitual or predominant mental attitude.

    If your mind is predominantly saying you are sick the body will succumb and sickness will creep in.

    If your mind is on the positive side, be rest assured that you will attract positive results. Having a positive mindset is a sure way of achieving your desired purpose in life.

    The attitude of your mind depends on what you predominantly harbour as thoughts.

    All possession is based on consciousness. All gain is the result of an accumulative consciousness. All loss is the result of a Scattering consciousness.

    The Benefits of Living Consciously

    Look, there are many benefits of living consciously and I would recommend and encourage you to start living consciously of what you want to become in your life.

    Start today and see what results you will yield in the next few months.

    I believe that all great achievers have been living consciously of their achievements long before they even achieved much.

    When you live consciously you attract that which you are conscious of.

    To effectively benefit from living consciously you need to have devised a life’s purpose and plan. Without which you will have no direction.

    You need to ask yourself what is it that you want to be changed in this world. How can you help change it?

    These are tough questions and there is no correct or wrong answer but they have to be answered by you and me.

    Surely there is something within you that can help change the world for the better.

    There is something that you dislike, something that you see is wrong, well stop complaining and do something about it.

    To this effect, we must be wary and alive to what we feed our conscious mind.

    Remember the Bible tells us “that out of the abundance of the heart the month speaks.”

    When you live consciously you are generally a happy, fulfilled, and confident person.

    Yes, you will come across negative things, learn to brush them aside.

    Do you realize that even in a heated conversation there are positive things that come out? I have found and realized that you can actually pick up encouraging words even from an argument.

    Forget all the negative things that happen to you and concentrate on the positive ones. It is these that keep you motivated and focused to achieve more.

    There is a story of a man who was carrying luggage a very big one in front and a very small one at the back.

    When asked what was in the luggage he answered that the one in front contains all the good words and things that have happened to him and the one behind is where he puts all the bad things and words that are said to him.

    He went on to say that the bag behind is actually torn at the bottom so that every time he throws the bad things, they are thrown to the ground.

    Now, imagine having to carry all the good things that have happened to you, and better still carrying them in front of keeps you reminded of them.

    I know that some of you reading this article have gone through trying moments, take heart my friend there is always someone with more problems than you.

    Just thank your creator that at least you are still alive. I believe that every living person has a chance to achieve more with their life.

    Conclusion

    There are many benefits to living consciously. The only encouragement I can give you is, try to be conscious of the things you want to become.

    When you are conscious of them you attract them to you and you are alive to them.

    Imagine yourself being that leader you want to become and start living like a leader, imagine yourself being that preacher and live like one in other words your consciousness determines your destiny and your daily life.

  • Relationships are a Source of Personal Stability

    “You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you” ~ Brian Tracy.

    Relationships of all kinds are often perceived as very delicate things, that require extra effort to maintain.

    However, a relationship can also be something that can provide security and personal stability; and can also be long lasting despite many trials.

    There are very few people if any that can claim not to have been or be in a relationship of some sort.

    Being in a healthy relationship can be a great source of personal stability and can provide security. We derive comfort and security in relationships.

    Human nature demands that we create relationships. No man is an island. We succeed based mainly on how successful or rather how healthy our relationships are, be it in a business or intimate relationship.

    Being in an unhealthy relationship has a very negative effect on your personal development journey.

    Creating Effective and Efficient Relationships

    We all strive for security and personal stability, therefore; building effective and long lasting relationships is a necessity. As human beings, we feel more comfortable and secure if we know that we come from a loving and caring environment.

    It gives you peace of mind when you know that you come from a caring and loving home. It is therefore very important in life that we cultivate and nurture our current relationships.

    For me the number one killer of relationships; be it personal or business, is a lack of satisfactory communication channels and a lack of trust.

    If you are in an intimate relationship make communication number one on the agenda of your to-do list. Proper communication leads to trust.

    An effective relationship will have such attributes as; Respect and trust; understanding; taking responsibility for our actions; effective communication and confidence; in intimate relationships patience is also important.

    When these attributes are correctly applied you are guaranteed of having an effective and efficient relationship. It takes all parties involved in the relationship to make it work.

    Even in a group or organization, the well-being of the people depends on how efficient and effective that group or organization works.

    The group or organization is also dependent on how the members work well especially with the management.

    Sometimes there is a tendency by management not to listen to complaints and suggestions from the junior members, forgetting that without the junior members there would be no organisation to run. People seek employment that offers personal stability and security.

    An ineffective group or organization can really be very frustrating.

    An ineffective group or organization can also ask so much of their members, that sometimes the members would be having no life outside the walls of the area where they work or sacrifice the other aspects of their lives just to meet deadlines.

    For an organization or group, with this kind of scenario, relationships can be stressed or suffer from breakdown.

    Relationships and Society

    Society is defined as a web of relationships, which requires all parties to work and contribute their share in order to achieve a common goal.

    In simple terms, society is made up of you and me. I would like to emphasise that at the very core of society is the family. A society with deep rooted family values is more successful than one that does not value family ties.

    Having a relationship that is good, where cooperation and respect are manifested, can make society work better. We all look forward to a society that offers security and personal stability for all.

    In this way, each member works for the good of the whole and towards achieving a common goal. This can only be attained with effective and efficient relationships.

    We are part of one big family. Each and every one of us was created to contribute positively to the growth of every society.

    Understanding the other parties’ feelings and positions creates an effective and efficient relationship.

    The easiest method to understand what is important to another party is to ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say.

    When the other party realizes this, they would feel the importance given to them. This is one way of showing respect and exercising your communication skills.

    Effective and efficient relationships require parties to openly express their feelings and positions on all matters pertaining to the relationship.

    Assuming that the other party understands our needs and gives us when we need it without asking for it is not good practice. This often creates a breakdown in communication.

    It is not wise to assume or rather think on behalf of someone. Relationships play a very important part in molding society.

    Respect and Trust in Relationships

    Perhaps one of the key factors in determining the healthiness of a relationship is respect and trust. A relationship without both will definitely fail.

    I have not come across a successful business partnership without respect and trust amongst the members.

    In order to create a more effective relationship, parties should treat each other with respect. Respect and trust also apply very much in intimate relationships.

    We can show respect just by listening to the other party and by trying sincerely to understand how they function.

    You can also show respect to other parties by confirming that they are doing everything they can.

    You see in any relationship it takes both parties’ efforts to make a healthy relationship, this is one way you can achieve personal stability.

    If you are in an intimate relationship it is very important that you respect and trust your partner. The bible says “do onto others what you would want them do unto you.”

    If you want to be loved first show love before you can receive it.

    We definitely do not take pleasure in being hurt unless you are not normal. It takes a long time to build trust yet it is very easy to break it.

    Most of the broken relationships I have come across are a result of mistrust and lack of respect for one another.

    Your character is a reflection of what you think. Feed your mind with the right stuff and you will think and act rightly.

    There is no way you will respect others if you do not learn to respect and trust yourself. Change begins with you.

    You cannot go into a relationship expecting to receive what you cannot give. One must learn to please the other before they can receive.

    Service is very cardinal in any relationship. You must be the first one to be of service and remember you are doing it without expecting any reward.

    Conclusion

    Relationships are important to anyone, and addressing issues and problems right away is a must to further improve the relationship.

    As they say “No man is an Island.” Being in a healthy relationship can be a source of personal stability and security as it releases your mind to focus on achieving your life’s intended purpose.

  • Develop a Positive Self Image About Yourself

    We all have formed an image of our self in one way or another. I have been doing a personal study of my performance in relation to my personal image.

    The discovery has been phenomenon. I have discovered that the way I view my self has a direct relationship with my task performance and my general life output. I believe that this is true for most of us.

    We live our lives based on our self image. We form our self image based on many factors especially external ones. If your self image is that of a failure or of a loser believe me, you are most likely living a failed or losing life.

    However, the opposite is also true. When am carrying out a task and my personal thoughts are negative the results are also not so encouraging.

    Sometimes I have spent hours and hours on articles only to realise that I have not done a good job and this is mostly because I had a negative feeling about the subject. These articles never find there way on my website.

    It is therefore, important that you create a positive self image if you have to improve your performance.  Having a positive self image is one of the key factors to enhancing your personal growth.

    A positive self image will accelerate your performance levels and speed up your goal attainment process.

    There are times when you just feel negative about something, it is absolutely okay to feel that way. The key is how quickly you turn your negative thoughts into positive ones.

    If you have always had negative thoughts about yourself I encourage you to read the bible for inspiration. There are many books out there but, the bible is the book of life. It is your manual for life. Through it you will begin to see how precious you are in the eyes of God.

    Failure is mostly associated with our negative self image. You have the capacity to change and shape your destiny if only you can change your personal image.

    Change begins with you. If you want to improve your performance and live the life you have always wanted, you must make the mental change to believe that you are the best at what you do and begin to take action.

    You are responsible for your life and should learn to take full responsibility for your actions and current situation. If you are an adult you should not expect a bailout. Just take responsibility and begin to act on making things better for your self.

    “The moment of enlightenment is when a person’s dreams of possibilities become images of probabilities” – Vic Bruden.

    How Do You Change Your Self-image?

    This is perhaps the starting point to your personal growth. You, alone are responsible for creating your self image.

    Its like in a marriage, what you tell your relatives and friends about your spouse is what they will know about her.  If you disrespect her, believe me they will also do the same.

    What you call your spouse in public is what they will call her. So if you want people to respect her you will always endeavour to tell them positive things about her.

    Those of you who are married must take this advice seriously. You will respect her in public regardless of the differences you had at home. Its those that do not value their marriages who will talk negatively about their spouses in public.

    Yes every marriage has its own unique problems and we do not want to bring them out in public.

    The same is true with how you view and portray yourself to people. The more positive and confident you show people the more positive and confident people will see you. People will treat you according to what you give or portray yourself to them.

    But this begins with yourself seeing the many positive things and qualities you possess. Take a sheet of paper and just write out 20 things that you think you are. You will be amazed at what you will write down.

    Yes we fail but that does not mean we should not try again. The most successful people fail many times before they succeed.

    The less successful people give up once they encounter a challenge. Failure to me, is merely an obstacle to be over come.

    Life would be very boring without challenges. Many of the times when we encounter challenges it simply means that there is an opportunity to develop a solution for the challenge.

    If you keep trying and trying things differently you will surely succeed at what you are doing. Fill your mind with positive self images about your self and sooner than later your mind will change the way you look at your self.

    Create a deliberate habit of saying “I like my self” repeatedly every time you feel low emotionally. When you wakeup in the morning ask God to help you focus on the positive things in life.

    Refuse the spirit of negativity and put on the image of positive thinking. Believe that you can complete a task with better results and make time to develop your skill set. Have an open mind to learning new things.

    Always see failure as a challenge and refuse to accept it. Surely changing your self image will make you feel much much happier and definitely help to improve  your performance. When you feel good about yourself you will perform much much better. After all what you want most in life is the feeling of happiness.

    know that you will come across people that will say unpleasant things about you. But you have the ultimate control to either accept or reject them. And besides we all have skeletons in our closets. No one on this earth can claim to be pure.

    It is also beneficial to hang around people that have a positive image about you as this helps to keep you motivated. When you create a positive image about your yourself some how it flows from you and attracts the right people.

    Make a deliberate policy to evaluate your friends some of them may not be very beneficial to your personal growth.

    Maintain the Discipline of Doing What is Right

    You know, there is a good feeling when you do something that is right. The feeling is just awesome. I would not be wrong to say that we all possess the ability to doing the right things.

    There is just something nice when we feel that, what we have done is good. All well meaning people have a conscious that tells us about what we are doing.

    I usually go with my first thoughts or rather my instincts. If am doing a task that am not sure of its effect on society, mostly I back out unless am convinced otherwise. This is not to say that I have never done wrong things before. Believe me I have but, I have learned to take responsibility and help to correct them if I can.

    I am not ashamed to go back and say am sorry let me correct my wrong doing. I have developed the discipline of doing what I think and feel is right especially for my success.

    Self discipline is one of the most difficult traits, but an important one for personal development and growth. We keep fighting every day to do the right things.

    Our minds are always telling us to do the easier things in life than do the most difficult and important things first. Like delayed gratification, we always want to spend money rather than save for the future.

    Honestly, I also struggle on a daily basis with the urge of wanting to do the easy and unimportant things first before moving on to the hard and important tasks. But tell you what, every time I conquer this urge, there is a feeling of joy and satisfaction.

    Developing the discipline of doing the right things first is a good attribute to helping in improving your performance. Doing the right things always makes you feel motivated and proud of yourself.

    Society lucks men and women who can stand up to do the right things even in the advent of criticism. It seems to me that many of us have fallen prey to doing what is popular or trending for fear of being called bad names.

    We would rather be on the same side with the majority even when we know deep down our hearts that what we have done is wrong.

    Conclusion

    “Believe in your self” – Unknown. The essence of personal self image is very critical to personal growth as it is the centre of your performance attribute.

    You should try as much as possible to create a positive self image if you have to fully enjoy your life. Most of the people who have a negative self image are low performers.

    If you are in a leadership position take a closer look at your subordinates performance reports, you will realise that one of the major factors of low performers is as a result of a negative self image.

    The higher performers are more usually confident and have a positive self image about themselves. You should consider helping those that are low performers as this will inadvertently reflect on your leadership skills and enhance your performance as a team.

  • Give It All You Have to Succeed in Life

    “To be a winner, you have to give it all you have.” Today is a beautiful day. Another day that the Lord has given us to conquer. 

    Do not worry about what you did not achieve yesterday, for yesterday is but history and today is a present. Start afresh and give it all you have to achieve success.

    Concentrate on what lies ahead forget yesterday’s disappoints and look forward to what lies ahead. There is more that is ahead than what lies behind. There is more to be done than what has been done.

    Today God has gifted you with another opportunity to make things right and reset your life for a better future. Today is the first day of the rest of your life.

    Things will not be easy but with God, on your side, you can do all things possible through Christ who gives your strength. God is the source of our strength.

    What you need to do is to set your sight on the task ahead and allow God to be God. He knows what lies ahead of you and what is best for you. You must develop the tenacity to trust in him who is greater than you.  

    The fact that you cannot see him does not necessarily mean that he does not exist. He lives in you. The bible says that “you are the temple of the holy spirit.”

    He is alive and has given you this day as an assurance of his existence. Therefore, today your commitment is to go out there and conquer the day.

    It may not be easy but it should be done with pride and joy. If you fail today don’t give up try again tomorrow.

    What you do now echoes in eternity. You are not only going out to create a better future for you, and your family but to help change someone else’s life. To be relevant to someone. 

    Whatever you go out to do must be in line with the principle of “do unto others what you would like them do unto you” for that is what God has commanded us to do.

    Take Joy in What You Do

    There is goodness in everything. Even in the things that seem bad, God is always telling us something. Things do not just happen by accident they happen for a reason.

    I believe that he allows certain things to happen so that we may learn from them. Our duty, therefore, as human beings is to look out for what he is trying to tell us.

    Sometimes good opportunities are presented to us when we least expect them. They are disguised in our adversities.

    Today ask that God opens your eyes and your spirit so that you are alert to what he is trying to tell you. If only you can follow his lead, life would be so much different and better.

    Many of the time we cry when calamity befalls us. We cry questioning God why me. Yes I know it hurts when calamity falls on you. But if not you then who?

    I think rather than question God, negatively, we must try to learn from what is happening to us. We must ask God to reveal to us what he is telling us to do rather than concentrate on the negatives.

    After the storm the sea is calm. If we do not learn from our experiences it is impossible to handle what is coming ahead. If you focus your mind and concentrate on the task at hand you will achieve your goals.

    Always Do the Right Thing

    “To me, a winner is someone who recognizes their God-given talents, works his tail off to develop them into skills, and uses those skills to accomplish his goals. Even when I lost, I learned what my weaknesses were and I went out the next day to turn those weaknesses into strengths” ~ Larry Bird.

    In the quest of making it to success, always try to do the right thing. Cutting corners does not pay. Cutting corners only gives you temporary success. You just get short relief when you jump the gun.

    Soon rather than later you will spend more time correcting your lies at the expense of moving forward. You will be going backwards instead of improving on your achievements.

    I like to advise my clients especially when it comes to paying taxes. You are better off filing your tax returns and making sure you pay your taxes on time.

    Otherwise, you will spend more time correcting the situation and end up spending more money on penalties than what you would have paid if you had done the correct thing.

    Besides, doing the right thing gives you peace of mind. You can walk the streets knowing very well that you have nothing to hide. It’s only greedy politicians who do not want to leave office when their time is up.

    Those who are in business will agree with me that they do not want to mess around with the tax authorities. Many businesses have gone under due to finding themselves on the wrong side of the law. 

    Sometimes it may not look cool to do the right thing, but that’s just the correct thing to do. It may not be cool with your peers but it’s cool with God.

    Your rewards may not necessarily be visible now but in due course, you will be rewarded.

    Be Proud of What You Do

    If you are not proud of what you do for a living, I suggest you quit and find something else that you enjoy doing. Your work must be a source of happiness and you must learn to be proud of it.

    It does not matter what kind of job or work it is. If that is what you are called to do then do it with pride. We cannot all be Presidents at the same time. One has to lead the other at a particular time.

    History has taught me that those who start with humility go on to be very successful in life. 

    It is not where you are right now that determines your future. It is what you do with your current situation that propels you to your destiny.

    Success does not just come on a silver platter. If it did then we would all be successful. Realise that your current situation could be your get way to greatness. Do not despise the days of your humble beginnings.

    Be Grateful For Life

    You are alive today for a good reason. If God Almighty did not have use for you, you would not have been alive you would be dead.

    The fact that you are alive you must be grateful for it. Some people have died especially in this error of the COVID 19 pandemic we have lost many lives.

    Every day I wake up is a chance to pursue my dreams. The only way I know is to first be grateful for my life and my health and work hard towards achieving my goals.

    Look, don’t take life for granted. Someone out there is looking out for you. Show some gratitude also, by looking out for someone.

    There are many reasons for showing gratitude. Even if you are going through the roughest of times it is important to show gratitude.

    Make it a habit to show gratitude even for the smallest of things. It is just polite to say thank you when someone is serving you. Gratitude is a sign of appreciation.

    Conclusion

    Giving it all you have does not guarantee that you will succeed, however, it is the only chance you have.

  • How to Increase Your Emotional Self-Awareness

    “The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wander and stand and rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed” ~ Albert Einstein.

    Emotional self-awareness is the building block of all competencies as mentioned in Daniel Goleman’s model of intelligence, published in 1995.

    Every day, that you wake up you need to recognise what you are feeling in order to move to the next competence level. Self-awareness has three skills, emotional self-awareness; accurate self-awareness, and self-confidence.

    It is very interesting to note that most of us are not very much aware of our emotions.

    When we are not aware of our feelings and emotions, and the causes of them, leading a happy and productive life is difficult if not almost impossible.

    Yes, there may be signs of success such as prestige, money, or career progression and success. But to be truly happy, we must be able to determine what really makes us feel good and what makes us feel bad.

    We cannot be truly happy and productive until we are aware of our feelings and what causes them. The knowledge of our emotional self-awareness is the driving force for our actions.

    When you develop your level of emotional self-awareness, you are able to specifically decipher how you are feeling at any given moment.

    This will help you resolve and know the basis and source of your current feelings. You will also know how your body is reacting.

    I know that becoming aware of your emotions takes practice, if you practice, the ability to note what you are feeling will increase with time.

    Checking Yourself

    The first thing to increasing your emotional self-awareness is to learn how to check yourself. To begin checking your emotions you will need to make time for doing so.

    You need to also know the different kinds of emotions or feelings. You also need to be aware that most if not all emotions are a result of external stimuli.

    Our emotions are our body’s reaction to certain conditions that we have been exposed to.

    I personally do an emotional check in the morning and late in the evening before going to bed. This is besides the monitoring as and when they occur.

    I have developed a skill to quickly monitor my body’s emotions at a particular time in a given situation. But when you first start I suggest you schedule it 3 times a day, that is morning, afternoon and evening.

    It may seem cumbersome in the initial stages but as time goes on you will realise that you will be able to call the skill anytime you feel a strong or distressing or strange feeling.

    I believe that happiness can only be achieved by identifying those feelings that make us feel happy and replacing sad feelings with happy ones.

    Here is how you can check yourself. Sit down quietly, if possible close your eyes, ask yourself the following questions and please ensure that you answer them honestly.

    Remember there is no right or wrong answer you are not competing with anyone.

    • How am I feeling?
    • What am I feeling?
    • Why am I feeling like this?
    • How long have I been feeling like this?
    • Where is the feeling manifesting itself in the body?

    Pay attention to your body language. Some stressing or strong emotions may cause symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, and just general body aches.

    Negative emotions are a health hazard. Learning to check yourself is the key to actually knowing how to handle your emotions. Checking yourself will also give you an accurate idea of how to handle and control your emotions.

    Sometimes, especially when we are angry we tend to react on impulse. If you learn how to handle your anger you will never find yourself in a regrettable situation.

    Write Down Your Feelings

    Once you are aware of your emotions you then need to write them down. I believe there is power in writing. After you have listed them down review them.

    Investigate what triggered them. As you get better at knowing your feeling you can label them whatever you want. Know also that not all feelings are negative.

    I know for sure that most of us will not pay attention to positive feelings but it is also important to have a clear understanding of what the source for these emotions is. This knowledge will come in handy when you want to start isolating and handling your emotions correctly.

    To help with identifying the triggers of your emotions ask yourself the following questions and be sure to be very sincere with your answers.

    Remember you are not competing with anyone and that your reaction will strongly depend upon the answers to the following questions.

    • When did the feeling start?
    • What was I doing or rather what was happening when it started?
    • Has the strength of the emotion changed if so how has it changed?
    • How often has this happened

    The above questions are best answered if you have a tendency to plan your daily activities. I would encourage you to develop among other habits of planning your daily activities.

    This puts you in total control of your time management and also helps increase your emotional self-awareness. If you are in the habit of daily activity planning you may not even realise that you have your emotional self-awareness under control.

    The whole idea of writing down your emotions is to get to the root cause of the feelings. Most of the time we tend to cure the symptoms rather than cure the root cause.

    You see if you know why you are feeling a certain way it is then possible to try and resolve the cause rather than pretend it did not happen.

    Finding out the root cause of the negative feeling does not necessarily mean you are accepting it; no you are merely trying to find a better solution.

    This brings us to the importance of noting down both positive and negative emotions. If the cause is resolvable you would have also resolved the bad or negative feeling.

    Learn to detect your emotion as they happen. Most of the time, our emotions are communicating something to us. You need to take extra caution and pay attention to your emotion as they occur.

    This though does not come overnight but with gradual practice and learning to live consciously, you will be in touch with your emotions and know yourself a lot better.

    Remember that we sometimes feel more than one emotion at a time but each one of them presents information that we can learn more about ourselves.

    Personal development is achieved when we learn more about ourselves and improve on our weaknesses.

    Preparing Your Emotions

    As you continue to build on your emotional self-awareness in the present you will learn to identify the triggers or situations and circumstances that lead to certain feelings.

    Remember it is the skill of knowing what the cause is that will reveal how to handle or avert similar situations that trigger negative emotions. I know for sure that most of us would like to have only positive emotions.

    Unfortunately, this is not the case in life. Life is full of challenges that need to be overcome. It is these challenges that trigger different emotions and reactions that each and every one of us needs to be prepared for.

    Learning to prepare your emotions for an event can help boost your self-confidence among other benefits of having to control yourself better.

    If we know how to handle our emotions we certainly have a better chance of handling failure very well and moving forward. The emotion of frustration is the one driving force to failure.

    If you are doing a project that you seem not to be getting the desired results at the first few attempts, you may begin to feel frustrated.

    It the way you handle this emotion of frustration that will determine your way forward. If handled negatively you are doomed to fail but if handled positively success is in the air for you.

    There are many instances that require us to prepare our emotions for the future. A typical example is when you are going to see your boss say over a disciplinary case or in a meeting where you are called to make a presentation.

    You will need to have your emotions under control in order to achieve the desired results especially if you are in the field of marketing.

    The benefits of knowing and preparing your emotions for the future cannot be over emphasised.

    You need to learn the skill of preparing your emotional self-awareness for greater personal development.

    Self-growth requires that you have greater control of yourself and emotional self-awareness is part of the greater picture.

    Conclusion

    “Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance” ~ Brian Tracy.

    Increasing our emotional self-awareness helps us learn and know more about ourselves.

    Before I close, let me emphasise the importance to note that we can feel different emotions at the same time and even feel as if some of them are conflicting.

    But, always remember that every emotion you feel is for a reason. Success requires that you know and understand yourself very well, this starts with knowing your emotions and the causes.

  • 4 Tips for Self-Improvement

    What would you do if you are trapped in an environment that you do not want to be in?  What if you are sick and tired of your job? What if you are sick and tired of your current situation? What can you do to get out the current dilemma?

    Though not easy, it is possible to take measured, inspired and motivated actions to survive your present situation and live the life you’ve always dreamed of.

    To do this you will have to come out of your comfort zone to discover seize the potential opportunities waiting for you.  You have to conquer your fear and take calculated risks.

    You have to stay focused and persevere despite the difficulties you will encounter.

    Success does not come easy.  It takes heart, passion and time. Experience is always a good teacher and there can never be any better substitute.

    The lessons learned in your everyday life become your foundation. Self-improvement does not come without hard work and perseverance.

    You have to work harder, dig deeper, and sacrifice more to attain your ambitions. But no, you do not have to hate the world and feel bad when you encounter difficult situations. 

    Just remember the Law of Attraction. If you hate the world, the world will hate you back and so if you love the world it will love you back.

    Learn to Love Your Current Situation

    No matter how bad your current situation is, there are some good things in it. See all the positive sides of life. Be enthusiastic. Love your boss, your co-workers, your family, your friends, love whatever it is that you are currently despising. Love attracts goodness and general happiness.

    It may not be easy, but nothing is impossible with a strong will power. Just do not fall in love so much that you totally forget about your dreams. Love, but try to hold on to reality.

    Many of the times we tend to focus on the negatives in a situation. But do you know that there are also a lot of lessons to be learned in your current situation. No matter how bad it seems find the positives and concentrate your efforts on them.

    Balance is Key

    Dream and take some positive action to move you toward your goals. Take it one step at a time. One day at a time. Do not be so engrossed as to forget about other aspects of life. Learn to live a balanced life even as you embark on your journey to success.

    While you are slowly starting on the long journey to success, be patient and be as enthusiastic as possible.  Do not hurry up too much that you totally forget how to enjoy life.

    Appreciate the beautiful things you will encounter on the journey. Always remember that personal development and self-improvement is not a competition. You are not competing with anyone to succeed.

    One day, you will finally attain what you have always longed for.  But when that day comes, do not look down on those who belittled you. Forgive and forget, after all your desire is to be a better person.

    Stay Humble

    Do not criticize others when you see that you are becoming more successful than they are. Try to help them. Helping others is an act of good will. Inject your positive aura into their personalities.

    When you give, you will yield back equal or greater rewards. “It is more blessed to give” ~ the Bible. Always endeavour to give more and more. Give and never expect anything in return.

    Humbleness just like patience is a virtue. Even when you are walking in your success stay humble. I know and have seen some people that have lost their coolness after attaining their success.

    Do not think that you are the only one who can succeed instead try and help others to reach their goals if you can. Always do something that other people will appreciate. Self-improvement is all about making the world a better place by first improving yourself.

    Are You Ready to Begin the Journey?

    Start it with the courage and desire to improve your life. Survive and go through it with persistence, enthusiasm, and positive thinking. Finish it with a resounding bang of accomplishment and with the desire to help others succeed as well.

    Before you begin your journey have a written down plan for your life’s purpose. This should be a guide towards how you will live your life.

    Continue to improve on it and read it every day and believe that you have attained it. Commit your plans to God’s hands and see how wonderful and faithful he is. “

    A journey of 3000 miles begins with one step” ~ Chinese proverb.

    Conclusion

    There are many other self-improvement tips that you will get as you go on with your daily life.

    Take note that you are not alone. There are others in much more difficult situations than you are currently in. That is why there will be no shortage of advice about self-improvement.

    Remember to always stay focused and share love and be compassionate with one another.

  • Your Confidence is Key to Success

    “It’s not the mountain we conquer but ourselves”~ Edmund Hillary.

    “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without confidence” ~ Hellen Keller.

    Success cannot be achieved without confidence. The most successful people are the ones with confidence. You cannot set out to do something and succeed without the backing of confidence.

    If you lack confidence there is a very high likelihood that whatever, endeavours you have embarked on, will not be a success.

    It’s absolutely vital that you develop the confidence and self-belief that you will achieve your goals. Self-belief is very crucial to succeed.

    I am not talking about being arrogant and ignoring feedback from other people and thinking you are infallible or invisible. Am talking about having a balanced view of yourself that does not indulge in false modesty and self-pity, and an inner view that is not strong enough to be crushed and defeated when someone challenges you.

    The thing is; to succeed you must develop the mindset and confidence to achieve your goals.

    If you’re really serious about succeeding you cannot afford to wallow in negative thoughts of “I am not good enough.” Here are a few tips to help with the development of your confidence.

    Positive Self-Talk

    Self-talk is perhaps the most important step towards developing self-confidence. What you tell yourself has more bearing and effect than what other people talk about you.

    Remember you are what you think. The bible says “as a man thinketh so is he in his heart.”

    Develop the attitude of talking positively to yourself. It helps to keep telling yourself that you can do it, you can do it. The Bible says “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” If God is for you, who can be against you?

    Usually, when am working on a task I keep reminding myself of the benefits that accrue when a task is achieved.

    I usually remind myself early in the morning that I can achieve all the tasks that I have laid down. Yes, I will come across obstacles but my mind is prepared for the tasks ahead.

    Sometimes I fail and sometimes I win, but I always learn from my failures and move on. I do not let them take the best out of me.

    You should try having a to-do list every morning and see, how that helps you towards achieving your intended goals.

    “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” ~ the bible.

    This is my prayer every morning. Try personalising the above quote and see how your confidence levels will improve.

    Your Behaviour Matters

    What you think about and what you say to yourself has a profound bearing on your behaviour and on what happens to you.

    Your thoughts, attitudes, and behaviours towards your ability to achieve your goals, have an impact on your expectation of the situation.

    In turn, your expectation will impact the way you behave in a given situation.

    People will always respond to your behaviours.

    “The most powerful forces of nature are the invisible forces, so we find that the most powerful forces of man are his invisible forces, his spiritual force, and the only way in which the spiritual force can manifest is through the process of thinking” ~ the Master Key.

    Am sure we’ve all known someone if not ourselves, who has been worrying about something they have to do and have constantly spoken how badly it’s going to go. 

    When it does go badly they jump and exclaim “I knew” that would happen.

    You see all along they did not realise that they created their own self-fulfilling prophecy. There is power in your thoughts and in your words. Always be mindful of what you say. It is better to keep quiet than say anything.

    Focus on the Things You Do Well

    Take stock of your skills set and attributes that you already possess. In other words, know your weaknesses and strengths and focus on improving your strengths even further.

    This is not to say that you should neglect to improve on your weakness. But focusing on doing the things you do better can highly improve your motivation and confidence levels.

    The idea is when you set out to do a task and accomplish it very well there is a sense of well-being and satisfaction.

    I have listed down some personal questions to help identify your skillset and attributes if you are not sure of them. Write down the answers and keep on reviewing them.

    Please make sure you answer the questions honestly there is no right or wrong answer.

    • What am I good at?
    • What have I received compliments and positive feedback for in the past?
    • What do people value me for? (Compare this with what you value yourself for).
    • What challenges have I overcome in the past?
    • What skills do I possess that have helped me to overcome the challenges?
    • What have I achieved in the past that I perhaps thought I couldn’t?

    “We see things not as they are but as we are” ~ H. M. Tomlinson.

    As human beings, I have noticed that we judge other people by our own standards.

    Believe me, if you have set yourself a high standard that is what you expect to get from other people and nothing less.

    Be Inspired by Other People

    One of the things that have always inspired and given me the confidence to succeed is by looking at and reading about other people who have made it.

    Find yourself some role models whom you admire and whose story of success inspires you.

    A role model does not necessarily have to be alive or known personally. It could be someone you have read about or someone who does not even know you.

    Most successful people have written books about their lives. Find some literature about them and read it.

    A good role model will show you the following attributes

    • Their attitude and approach
    • Where and how they started
    • How they made the most of their abilities
    • How they handle their success
    • How they overcome challenges

    Always remind yourself that these too were or are human beings just like you and I. If they can make it, why shouldn’t you make it?

    Conclusion

    Let me end by emphasising that you cannot succeed without having self-belief and the confidence to carry you on.

    I have not come across a successful person without self-belief and no confidence. I challenge you set out your intended purpose in life and start pursuing it with confidence.

  • The 9 Must Have Life Skills part 3

    Welcome to part 3 of “the 9 must-have life skills.”  This is the final part of the 3 series.

    Let’s start with a quick recap of the past two articles. In part one I mentioned the first three life skills namely, influencing; delegation, and persuasion.

    We went on to describe these in detail click here to read part 1.

    In part two I talked about the next three life skills namely; coaching, feedback, and conflict handling click here to read part 2.

    “A general is just as good or just as bad as the troops under his command make him” ~ General Douglas MacArthur. “A leader is a dealer in hope” ~ Napoleon Bonaparte.

    The last three life skills are the ones that expose your inner being, to the outside world.

    Remember you work from the inside out and not vice versa. You are made of what is inside you.

    You must know that all growth is from within. You cannot give out what you do not have.

    People will only judge you from what they see and how you present yourself to them.

    Presentation

    Presentation is an area that can be a challenge to many of us. We all make judgments by seeing or rather analysing the presentation by a colleague or friend.

    In my own humble definition, I regard presentation as a way of sending and receiving information in a way that makes people want to hear what you are saying or doing.

    Presentation can come in many different forms. In fact, we are always presenting ourselves on a daily basis, be it at work or to our customers, friends, spouses, children and the list is endless.

    Presentation is about getting your message across a section of society. In doing this, you should ask yourself what you want to achieve.

    A good leader should also be a good presenter and a good listener.

    If you are in leadership this is the skill that will influence your team members to appreciate or agree with your philosophies.

    The key to being a good presenter is knowing what you want to achieve.

    To effectively get your message across, it is important to consider these two perspectives;

    •  What do you want to say?
    • What is the expectation of your audience?

    Dale Canergie, once said, “there are always three speeches, for every one you actually gave. The one you practiced, the one you gave, and the one you wished you gave.”

    As I mentioned before, the skill of presentation is mainly to deal with the public.

    The public in this instance are the people you come into contact with every day. If you want to create a lasting impression on people you need to be a good presenter.

    Facilitation

    What is facilitation? This is a life skill that is needed and mostly used in a meeting environment.

    Facilitation is the art and science of helping a group or team in their thinking, planning, and decision-making.

    Imagine the chaos and confusion there would be when you are holding a meeting without a moderator or facilitator.

    Very often we do not realise the knowledge and potential we have within a given grouping or team.

    In many cases, the insights and knowledge needed to resolve problems and or identify innovative ways forward, are just within the team.

    The skill to unlock this potential knowledge and solution in most times is found during facilitation.

    A good facilitator will strike a balance between dominant personalities and those that are less dominant.

    Facilitation mainly focuses on progress rather than arguments.

    It is very common during meetings to drift away from the point being discussed and so it is very important that the facilitator does not lose focus.

    There are 3 main elements to effective facilitation:

    • Focus on the Progress – the key to successful facilitation is to focus on the progress.  To achieve this you need to set the right tone of the meeting and ensure that the participants are motivated from the start to end. You will also need to use your feedback life skills to ensure that information is flowing smoothly and at the end of it all, a consensus has been built.
    • Interpersonal Skills – to manage progress you need not only keep things on track but, also need to use good interpersonal skills. These will include having a good command of; rapport building; effective communication verbal and non-verbal; listening actively and how you use your question technique.
    • Personal Characteristics – we all have different characteristics though I feel that the following are a must-have to achieve better facilitation; ability to learn; sensitivity; openness to change; self-awareness; friendliness and off-course some sense of humour.

    Team Meetings

    The last and final life skill set is rather not a skill but something I feel should be acquired in your life “team meetings.”

    As a leader, you will need to have regular meetings with your team or group.

    The key to an effective team meeting is to know why the meeting is being held.

    So before you call for a meeting ensure that your mind is clear and certain as to why you are calling for the meeting.

    In other words, prepare an agenda and circulate it beforehand if possible.

    I will not go into details of what a meeting should be but they could be formal or informal.

    As a leader only hold meetings when necessary. I have worked in companies where meetings are held unnecessarily.

    Meetings if not well planned for can be a share waste of company time as they take away the time for doing other duties.

    The best way is to have planned meetings with set targets. Only “bosses” call for unnecessary meetings.

    Another key factor is to call only people you think need to be present or will make a worthwhile contribution.

    You see when you call for a meeting it is your reputation at stake. Make sure you build a reputation for handling meetings very well.

    Leading team meetings effectively requires a wide range of skills.

    These skills could include the ability to focus on how the meeting is progressing and blending it with your own interpersonal life skills and characteristics.

    To achieve this you need to build your knowledge base and step out of the box.

    In fact, let’s just say remove the box altogether; think about what you are doing as a group and get a lot of practice.

    Conclusion

    I hope you have learned something from the three series I will end with a Chinese proverb ~ “Tell me and I will forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I’ll understand.”

  • The 9 Must Have Life Skills Part 2

    Welcome to part 2 of “the 9 must have life skills.” In part 1 I talked about the first three life skills namely; the skill of influencing; the skill of delegation and the skill of persuasion.

    As mentioned in part 1 this article will be more of help to those in a leadership role.

    “Leadership does not always wear the harness of compromise” ~ Woodrow Wilson.

    In this article, we will look at the next 3 life skills. You may wonder why I call them life skills and not leadership skills, this is because we are all born leaders and we have these skills in us.[the_ad id=”72155″]

    The skills are listed randomly even though they are related.

    The Skill of Coaching

    This is perhaps one of the most critical skills to have in relation to delegation. If you are in a leadership position you will or may have delegated some work to your subordinate(s) and the most critical area is to have confidence in your colleague.

    The only way confidence can be created is by way of coaching. You will only have confidence in someone if you know that they were properly coached and more especially if the coaching was done by you.

    By definition “coaching is a process which supports people in developing their skills and achieving their skills.” The subject of coaching is a wide one that needs a dedicated article. I promise to do more research on this topic.

    There are several approaches to coaching and they all tend to be in agreement that it involves:[the_ad id=”72155″]

    • Activities to develop someone’s skills and abilities. This could be either on a one on one or group basis.
    • Developing targets that are both individual and group-oriented. This is very common in sports-related activities.
    • Focus on improving performance, this could be individual or team.

    I believe the skill of coaching is equally important even in parenting. These days our children are very clever and they need to be coached in order to get the maximum benefit from their academic work.

    The speed at which they learn is amazingly fast and as a parent, you just need to keep up with them. A good leader should be able to coach, that is imparting some of his skills to his colleagues.

    A good leader is judged by how knowledgeable and skilled his team members are. If you are a leader you will be judged by the results your team is achieving.

    Feedback

    Feedback is inter-linked with the skill of coaching. I regard feedback as a form of communication. Feedback serves two main purposes:

    • Motivation – when a team is performing well, feedback can increase confidence and encourage the team to perform at the same high or even higher level.
    • Correction – this is also true when a team is not performing at the expected level, feedback can be used to assess how to change and improve performance for the better.

    This skill (feedback) can be very critical in the following instances;

    • When providing coaching support. At this point, there is feedback from both the coach and the student. As coaching involves the setting of goals the student has to give feedback on the progress and what difficulties are being encountered. The coach also has to give feedback on the modification of the program if need be.
    • Reviewing how a delegated activity is progressing. When you delegate work there is a need for feedback from both ends to ascertain that the job is being done correctly and the person delegated has understood the instructions.
    • Conducting management reviews and appraisals. In a work environment as a leader, you will be required to conduct employment appraisals for your juniors. Appraisals are a two-way assessment. The person being assessed gives feedback to his appraiser and vice versa.
    • Handling conflict – this is discussed below.
    • Facilitating – this is also discussed in part 3.

    For feedback to be appreciated it has to be positive. The following are a few tips for ensuring positive feedback:

    • Feedback has to be specific and to the point.
    • Feedback has to be fair and sincere. This will ensure maximum or intended results to be achieved with minimum difficulty.
    • Feedback should be descriptive and focused on action and not on an individual.
    • Feedback can also be futuristic. This is especially important for corrective feedback.

    Remember that feedback is a very vital skill for both good leaders and managers.

    The Skill of Conflict Handling

    The final skill to be dealt with in this part is the skill of handling conflicts. I would be safe to assume that every one of us has had to resolve some feud of some sort. It doesn’t matter how it was resolved but it was done.

    Conflict handling is vital to all human beings whether in leadership roles or not. Yet this is one skill that many of us do not want to have or use. A good leader should know how to resolve conflicts among his team members. This is vital because unresolved conflicts can be very detrimental to the team as a whole.

    The first step in handling conflicts is to be aware of the possible reason behind the conflict. A mini investigation can be conducted to ascertain the cause. By definition, some conflicts are easier to handle than others. Some cases can be very difficult to handle that you may require a third party to help resolve them.

    Firstly you need to understand as the person in charge that conflict is not necessarily a bad thing. There are bound to be conflicts where two or more people are gathered.

    You will also appreciate that if conflicts are resolved properly they can add a lot of motivation to the group, by making the team understand each other even better.

    There are however different approaches to handling conflicts. I know for sure that most of us do not want to handle conflicts or would rather find the easy way out. Unfortunately, there is no shortcut.

    I believe that conflicts have to be faced or handled head-on. Whichever method is used please ensure that the parties involved are satisfied with the resolution. I know that it is impossible to please all but always look at the bigger picture and what is beneficial to the aggrieved parties.

    Conclusion

    I feel that the topic on coaching has not been done much justice. I will be writing a whole article on this very challenging topic so you can have an insight of what coaching is all about.

    “I believe that the mind-set that allows you to spend your working life thinking and congratulating people rather than being unpleasant to them is the mainstay of good leadership” ~ Tim Waterstone.

    The skill of coaching is a must-have for all. Look out for part 3.

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