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Communication is Key to Success

In any relationship be it business or intimate, communication is cardinal to making it work.

You will agree with me that many relationships especially intimate ones break up mostly due to a lack of communication.

I am not sure of the statistics but I am very certain that most relationships lack proper and good communication.

Many times our messages are misinterpreted or misunderstood.

I have found myself in situations where I needed to apologize because my message was misunderstood, either due to the words I chose or the tone of my voice.

I must admit my admiration for people who know how to put across what they want with clarity.

Over the years, I have learned to use clear and straightforward language, especially when communicating or giving instructions, to improve my life.

If you are a devoted follower or regular reader of this blog, you will agree that the language is straightforward and easy to understand.

I try as much as possible to use everyday words that are straightforward. I also want to believe that most of these world conflicts are due to a lack of proper communication.

In work or business environments, it is very important to have a precise and clear-cut communication strategy to avoid conflicts.

If you are in leadership the following tips may help you pass on whatever it is you want to be achieved.

Desired Outcome

As a leader, you need to decide what the desired outcome should be. Have a vision and ensure that you put yourself in the shoes of your subordinates when giving instructions.

You may need to repeat and structure your words in simple everyday language for all your subordinates to understand.

Sometimes it helps to explain what your vision is to a smaller group or better still on an individual basis to your desired target group.

Some people may not be free to ask as many questions as needed when in a large group. If you are to succeed at anything your desired outcome should be understood and taken seriously.

Goals and Expectations

When setting the stage for discussing what is currently happening, it is always a good idea to start the conversation with your goals and expectations.

It is very important that each and every member of your team knows what is expected of them and the overall goals to be achieved by them.

I would once again strongly emphasize the immense importance of conducting a thorough one-to-one briefing, as this personalized approach often uncovers even the most critical and underlying issues that might otherwise remain unnoticed.

One-to-one discussions are more fruitful than group ones. Most of us are not very comfortable with large group discussions.

There is often a tendency to feel intimidated, which can hinder effective communication. As a leader, it is important to take the time to understand the strengths and weaknesses of each group member individually.

Current Happenings

The next important tip is to explain what is and is not currently happening.

This will help send a message to the group about what you think is currently obtaining on the ground.

If your communication levels are at the right pace your team members will let you know exactly what is on the ground if they feel you are misinformed.

You as the leader, spell out in detail what you think is happening and what is not happening. Remember always that the backstops at you.

Your responsibility is to provide guidance and encouragement which can only be achieved by proper and good communication.

The Input

The next and final tip is what I call the input. You can have all the brilliant ideas in the world but without the final act of implementation, nothing can be achieved.

After all the hard work and brainstorming. A proper, concise and clear communication strategy has to be implored.

As a leader, it is very important that you devise a simple and clear communication strategy outlining what input is expected from each and every member of your team.

This way all members will have a clear understanding and deliver accordingly.

Conclusion

Communication is perhaps the key to success. Good communication ensures that every member the team knows exactly what they are supposed to do.

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July 29, 2012
How to Learn From Failure
One of the major reasons why we do not succeed is the refusal to learn from our mistakes and challenges.

People do not realise that failure can be a very powerful tool to assess your performance and find meaningful ways to improve yourself.

Ask yourself about the day’s failures and successes and what can be gleaned, then hold yourself accountable.

Take note of those factors that contributed to your day’s failure they surely will not go away without you taking action.

“I don’t know the key to success but the key to failure is to try to please everyone.” – Bill Cosby.

The above quote just summarises everything about our failures.

Many of us have never attempted to venture out in business or indeed pursue something that we have always longed to do, held back by the fear of failing.

I know that failing is part of life. The difference between successful people and the average guy is the way failure is handled.

The successful guys always make it a point to learn from their mistakes and failures, whereas most of us just stop at failure.

If you don’t make it point to sit down and analyse the causes of your failure you will not succeed at whatever you do.

Learning from failure is therefore an important aspect of being successful so is taking time to analyse your daily failures (no matter how small).

The following tips may help you learn from your failures and help to improve on them.

Ask Yourself Questions

I encourage you to take a few minutes each day to reflect on your day. This simple habit is highly beneficial and requires just about 15 minutes.

If you can, get a piece of paper and a pen and write down the points. You will realise that most or some of the important decisions are made in the serenity of your home or just before bedtime.

When your mind is relaxed. Some useful questions to ask yourself would be:-
- what failures did I experience today?
- what are the lessons to be learned from them?
- how do I change them or improve on them?
- is there any need for me to have external help?
At first, it may seem cumbersome to review your day but you will agree with me that every time you have an important decision to make, you will usually sleep over it, and in most cases, decisions are made just before sleeping and reviewed in the morning.

That’s just how the mind works. You may also want to take note of your successes made during the day.

Have a Plan and be Accountable

Draw a plan of action. Remember that those attributes that contributed to your failure will not go away until action is taken.

If there is one thing I believe in, it is making decisions. They have to be made wrong or right and action taken.

By taking action you are moving a step closer to successfully achieving your intended goal or purpose.

In your plan include what behaviours you think you need to improve on or change.

Secondly, be accountable. If you are in business find a very responsible partner and be accountable to them.

In my years of work experience, I have observed that accountability is lacking in many individuals.

You can also be accountable to yourself but please be honest.

One of the best ways to be accountable to yourself is to put yourself on the other side.

Imagine that you are the leader and expect results from your subordinate. What quality of results do you want from your junior?

How would you react if the results are not as you expected and what would you have done?

Answering these questions may help you be more accountable.

Let Your Plan Guide You

Stick to your plan. Let your plan be the guide. If you have a partner you are accountable to, ensure that he is strict on you until you change your daily patterns that contribute to your failures.

It takes time patience and repetition to improve. One of the best ways to succeed is by sticking to your plan. Ensure that you have a good plan and keep improving on it.

Do not be rigid as to not realise that plans can be revised to make improvements.

Conclusion

We all fail a little every day. We can learn from those small failures as well as daily successes when we reflect.

I know that there can never be success without failure. I have not come across a successful person who has never failed.

Do not feel discouraged when you fail the first time, after all, success is synonymous with failure.

We all have failed at some point in life and will keep failing every day but always be accountable for your actions and above all “standout be counted.”
June 27, 2012
Count Your Blessings

“Count your blessings” – Og Mandino. This is perhaps one of the most common quote I have come across without really digesting the meaning. As simple and popular as the quote may be, very few of us have actually sat down and done what it says.

That is counting our blessings. With the fast-changing and demanding world of today, people are busy with the hussle and bustle of life. Some have turned into perpetual complainants. “I should have this and that; I am not this and that; maybe I should be this and that.” Well, maybe you should stop complaining and count your blessings.

Start by counting yourself lucky that you are alive, which is the most important thing. The fact that you are alive gives you a chance to have a go at anything.

The fact that you are alive is testament enough that God still has use for you. Count yourself lucky. Some people went to bed last night and never woke up.

Even more is the fact that if you have a roof or shelter over your head and your family is standing beside you, means you are even more blessed.

Perspectives on Circumstance

Have you ever realized that there are more people in a much worse position than you are in? If you are able to read this article on the internet I would consider you very lucky and privileged. The fact that you are going through a difficult situation does not necessarily mean you are not blessed.

Thank your creator that; you are alive and not dead; you are better than the man who sleeps on the streets and does not know where his next meal will come from, later on know where his going to rest his head.

No matter what your circumstances may be, be rest assured that someone out there is in a worse situation than you.

I am not trying to condemn your position nor encourage you to stay in your current position but merely trying to uplift you so that you look to the brighter side of life. Also, know that some of those who have succeeded in life have come from much worse situations than yours.

The difference is that they turned their difficult circumstances and seized the opportunity and moved on from there. So every challenge comes with hidden opportunities.

If you are in a position of need I believe that “necessity is the mother of invention” – Proverb.

Every product has its purpose, a reason behind its creation. Think about it! Instead of waiting for opportunities to come to you, take the initiative. If you’re hungry for success, seek out work, earn your rewards, and invest in your dreams. Don’t sit idle; take action and make things happen!

Count it all Joy

Maybe you are in a job that does not pay you enough; well, first and foremost money is never enough and secondly, thank God, you at least have an income to count on. Life is such that the more you earn the more you spend. The more money you make the more financial challenges you will face.

Maybe your business is not doing fine; at least you are trying and doing something. Count it all joy in everything you are doing because your blessing is on the way.

Keep the faith and always remember to give thanks to your creator for whatever little you have. Growth comes from the small things that we get and when put together they become big.

Learn to be happy with what you have and thank God Almighty for it. Have you ever given a small child a gift, even though it is not enough and they say thank you dad for the toy with a smile on their face? How does that make you feel? It is exactly the same with our creator but, he has more compassion than you and I can comprehend. I just feel that it is polite to say thank you for any gift you receive.

Do Not Despair You are Blessed

Why do you despair for it is written “do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes” – the Bible. Instead, take time to appreciate what you have.

Many times we do not realize that half a loaf in your hands is better than none. Appreciate the children that you have; thank God for your wife or husband; thank him for your life, there is so much to be thankful for even in your current situation.

Take a minute to think that right now as you are reading this article there are some people gasping for air in hospitals yet, you are freely taking in the same air without a gasp. Forget about your worries and start counting your blessings.

Conclusion

I hope this article has helped you realize that you are such a blessed human being and that if you are going through trials and tribulations consider them as challenges. Imagine life without challenges. Wouldn’t that be boring? I believe that after every storm comes calmness.

April 25, 2012
Is Knowledge Key to Success?

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge” ~ The Bible. “If a man empties his purse into his head, no man can take it away from him. An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest” ~ Benjamin Franklin.

The fact is that knowledge is married to success and that there is no success without knowledge.

I like to compare the co-relationship between knowledge and success with a mobile phone and a sim card they are inseparable.

In my endeavour to achieve my life’s intended goals, I have discovered that I need to acquire knowledge to achieve them.

I have also come to understand that knowledge is the key to success. Without knowledge chances of you achieving your intended life’s purpose(s) are very slim if not bleak.

In this article, I outline why knowledge is key to achieving your success.

What is Knowledge?

“The result of man’s ability to think is knowledge” ~ the master key system.

Put in another way “man’s ability to think is as a result of his awareness; know-how; understanding and intelligence.”

The Oxford English dictionary defines knowledge as “the information and skills acquired through experience or education; the sum of what is known; awareness or familiarity gained by experience.”

According to the definitions given above knowledge is gained through experience and education.

By the way, education does not need to be formal you can be educated informally.

I believe that not all successful people are “educated.” They have just acquired the right knowledge and experience needed to achieve their personal objectives.

“There are no secrets to success it is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure” ~ Colin Powell.

Using Knowledge as a Yardstick

Knowledge helps us prepare ourselves for the oncoming obstacles as we move towards achieving our objectives.

It is therefore imperative that you continuously acquire knowledge and improve on your skillset.

As I have mentioned before in my previous articles that success is a journey and not a destination you will come across many obstacles on your journey.

The difference between successful people and the rest is that they prevail over obstacles. They have developed the tenacity to overcome obstacles.

They never give up even when they fail the first time around.

I am pretty sure that the knowledge and experience gained when faced with different challenges comes in handy at some stage in life.

I want to encourage you to acquire as much knowledge as you can as you go about working through to achieve your intended life’s purpose. You just never know when you will need to call upon it for help.

Knowledge can then be best acquired through reading books and experience. These two are some of my best ways of acquiring knowledge.

You could also attend seminars, listen to recorded messages, and many other ways that are available to you.

When it comes to acquiring knowledge do not limit yourself. Remember that one of the very few possessions that can never be grabbed away from you even in your death is knowledge.

I have never heard anything like they downloaded his knowledge to a storage media before he died, never before.

How Does Knowledge Fit In?

If knowledge is the awareness gained by experience, I would be right to say that success is achieved by experience and this takes time.

Clearly, from the definitions of knowledge described above, I can safely say that without knowledge; experience; awareness, or education there is no success. Experience does not come overnight, it takes time to come.

In my opinion, knowledge is the driving force to success without which it is very difficult to walk down the road of success.

If you have to succeed in life you will need to spend good quality time acquiring knowledge and skills needed for your intended purpose.

If it is the driving force, then you must therefore learn to put it to good use. Knowledge acquired without being used is a waste of time.

Knowledge is acquired for a purpose and not just for the sake of it.

Conclusion

In whatever, endevours one may be engaged in, it is impossible to succeed without sufficient knowledge.

It is therefore key that you strive to acquire the right knowledge for you to pursue your life’s intended purpose.

Knowledge does not necessarily have to be acquired through established learning institutions such as schools.

There are various ways and the main one being reading. I will end here and hope you have enjoyed the article.

April 15, 2012
3 Things to Help You Improve Your Motivation

“To succeed you need to find something to hold on to, something to motivate you, something to inspire you” ~ Tony Dorset.

Many of us have read a great deal on the subject of success and personal development and what it takes to be successful in whatever you are pursuing.

There are countless books on success, self-improvement and personal improvement. It is therefore, important to pay particular attention to the core values and principles, as you strive to achieve success in your endeavors.

I want to humbly contribute by giving practical experience on the subject. Success does not come without motivation and inspiration.

Every successful person you encounter has a spark of inspiration and motivation fueling their journey. They embrace each new day as an opportunity, eagerly anticipating the possibilities that lie ahead.

We are all motivated and inspired by something or someone. The difference is that those who succeed keep the fire burning whereas most of us quench the fire even before we get started.

Outlined below are three things that will help improve and keep you motivated. Surely the road to success is definitely not an easy one. Success is not a destination but a journey. There will never be a time when you will say that you have arrived.

Self-motivation

To become self-motivated means to get out of the beaten path, out of the rut, because to achieve extraordinary results you require extraordinary means. You cannot expect different results by doing the same things.

I describe self-motivation as the fuel to keeping your dream alive. The more motivated you are the more you keep working and getting closer to realizing your dream. You cannot achieve your dreams if you are not motivated.

To keep your motivation high, write down your intended life’s purpose and keep it somewhere you can easily access and read it often. The more you read it the more it becomes a part of your thinking process.

In Napoleon Hill’s book Think and Grow Rich, he recommends reading it daily. Just like a car needs refueling when its fuel runs low, your mind requires regular nourishment to stay motivated and focused. Remember you become what you think about most of the time.

Self-motivation is essential and must be nurtured. It serves as the driving force that keeps your dreams alive and fuels your efforts to achieve them.

I have clearly defined my life’s intended purpose and refer to it on a regular basis at least three or four times a week. This way I consistently remind myself of what I should be doing on a daily basis in order to fulfil my purpose.

Knowledge of Your Goals

Surely, success cannot be achieved without a clear goal. I believe that everyone who has succeeded had goals deeply ingrained within them.

I prefer putting my thoughts down on paper because I believe there is power in writing. When you write, you don’t forget because you keep a record that can be referred to when need arises.

At first, your goal may not be as clear as you want it to be, but still, write it down anyway. Writing gives you a head start.

As you move forward, embrace the adjustments you make along the way; they are key to refining your vision. Your documented life’s purpose is not just a target—it’s your guiding star, inspiring you to reach new heights and achieve your goals.

You only make adjustments to the way you are going to achieve it. If your goal, for example is to raise $10m in 10 years you must state how you intend to raise this amount of money and start working towards achieving your goal. You need to start working and getting your hands dirty. Nature gives you back what you give it.

The best way to achieve your life’s intended purpose is to engage in an activity that you enjoy. This will give you added pleasure and you will be able to produce your very best as you go about your activities.

Remember it is easier to do something you enjoy more than what you do not. If your current work does not centre around your life’s plans rethink it. Find something that resonates with your life’s purpose.

Being Dedicated and Focused

My last piece of advice is dedication. How then can you succeed without being dedicated? Goals are achieved through dedication.

The time you spend preparing for an exam will ultimately show when the results are released. Success does not come on a silver plate. There are a lot of sacrifices that are made for you to succeed.

I will go back to the example of raising $10m in 10 years. If that is your goal you will need to adjust your spending habits and cut back on all unnecessary expenditure. You will need to learn the art of saving and living within your means.

You will also need to be dedicated to an activity or activities that will help you raise your money and be faithful to saving on a regular basis. Dedication is no easy task. It requires that you die a little for you to achieve your dreams.

When you are dedicated and focused on a task, nothing will come in your way of success. You will definitely meet with success at the appointed time.

Conclusion

Improving your motivation and better still keeping motivated is an important part of success. You cannot be successful without being motivated and inspired.

The three things outlined above are just some of the ways I use to help improve my motivation. I believe that there are many other ways that can be used to help improve your motivation. I hope that you enjoyed reading my article and find it helpful.

April 8, 2012
Motivation, the Heart of Self Improvement

“Have your heart in your life’s work, and be stout-hearted. Do something, act always, and do it now. Don’t be afraid. Many a man has been defeated by his doubts—lack of confidence. Take your risks —you cannot eliminate them, you cannot escape them. You can diminish them by dominating them.” ~ Batten’s Wedge

This article is an excerpt from the book “believe it and you will achieve it.”

Pain may sometimes be the reason why people change. Getting flunked grades makes us realize that we need to study. Debts remind us of our inability to look for a source of income.

Being humiliated gives us the ‘push’ to speak up and fight for ourselves to save our face from the next embarrassment.

It may be a bitter experience, a friend’s tragic story, a great movie, or an inspiring book that will help us get up and get just the right amount of motivation we need in order to improve ourselves.

With the countless negativities the world brings about, how do we keep motivated? Try on the tips prepared from A to Z.

A – Achieve your dreams. Avoid negative people, things, and places. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

B – Believe in yourself, and in what you can do. You are the only obstacle to you success.

C – Consider things from every angle and aspect. Motivation comes from determination. To be able to understand life, you should feel the sun from both sides.

D – Don’t give up and don’t give in. Thomas Edison failed once, twice, more than thrice before he came up with his invention and perfected the incandescent light bulb. Make motivation your steering wheel.

E – Enjoy. Work as if you don’t need money. Dance as if nobody’s watching. Love as if you never cried. Learn as if you’ll live forever. Motivation takes place when people are happy.

F – Family and Friends – are life’s greatest ‘F’ treasures. Don’t lose sight of them. Embrace and enjoy their presence.

G – Give more than what is expected. Motivation and self-improvement happen everywhere—at work, at home, and at school. True growth occurs when you put in extra effort and go beyond the minimum required.

H – Hang on to your dreams. They may dangle in there for a moment, but these little stars will be your driving force. Your dreams will define the kind of legacy you want to leave behind.

I – Ignore those who try to destroy you. Don’t let other people get the best of you. Stay out of toxic people – the kind of friends who hate to hear about your success.

J – Just be yourself. The key to success is to be yourself. And the key to failure is to try to please everyone. The more you try to please everyone the more frustrated you will get.

K – keep trying no matter how hard life may seem. When a person is motivated, eventually he sees a harsh life finally clearing out, paving the way for self-improvement.

L – Learn to love yourself. Now isn’t that easy? Probable the easiest thing to do.

M – Make things happen. Motivation is when your dreams are put into work clothes. Things do not happen without effort.

N – Never lie, cheat or steal. Always play a fair game. The truth will always set you free. Build trust by being truthful.

O – Open your eyes. People should learn the horse’s attitude and sense. They see things in 2 ways – how they want things to be, and how they should be.

P – Practice makes perfect. Practice is about motivation. It lets us learn repertoire and ways on how can we recover from our mistakes.

Q – Quitters never win. And winners never quit. So, choose your fate – are you going to be a quitter or a winner?

R – Ready yourself. Motivation is also about preparation. We must hear the little voice within, telling us to get started before others will get on their feet and try to push us around. Remember, it wasn’t raining when Noah build the ark.

S – Stop procrastinating immediately and take decisive action without delay. Procrastination only hinders your progress and prevents you from reaching your full potential. By overcoming the habit of putting things off, you can increase your productivity, reduce stress, and achieve your goals more efficiently.

T – Take control of your life. Discipline or self-control jives synonymously with motivation. Both are key factors in self-improvement.

U – Understand others. If you know very well how to talk, you should also learn how to listen. Yearn to understand first, and to be understood the second. Communication is very key your wellbeing.

V – Visualize it clearly in your mind. Motivation without vision is like a boat stranded on dry land, unable to move forward or reach its destination.

W – Want it more than anything. Dreaming means believing. And to believe is something that is rooted out from the roots of motivation and self-improvement.

X – X-Factor is what will make you different from others. When you are motivated, you tend to put on “extras” in your life like extra time for family, extra help at work, extra care for friends, and so on.

Y – You are unique. No one in this world looks acts or talks like you. Value your life and existence, because you’re just going to spend it once.

Z – Zero in with absolute focus on your dream and confidently go for it with determination and passion!!!

Conclusion

Zelda Fitzgerald once said “Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold”. That is why when you put your heart to something it stands out.

March 17, 2012
Improve Your Self-Esteem Part 2

This is the final part of a two-part series. In the first part, I mentioned the importance of having goals; principles, and success experiences and how these impact your self-esteem.

I will mention the remaining 3 that are compared with others; recognition and rewards and how these affect your self-esteem.

Comparison With Others

The fourth element of self-esteem is comparison with others. Leon’s study concluded that in determining how well we are doing, we do not compare ourselves with abstract principles and standards, but, rather, we compare ourselves with people we know.

To feel like a winner, you must know for sure that you are doing as well as or better than someone else.

The more you know about how well the others in your field are doing, and the more favorably you compare with them. The more you will feel like a winner, and the higher your self-esteem will be.

Successful people continually compare themselves with other successful people. In order to succeed, you must have a mentor.

Successful people think about their mentors and read about them and study their performances, and then they work towards improving their own failures.

The best competition you can have is yourself. Begin to compete with your previously achieved goals and improve on them. I believe that success is not a destination but a long journey.

Recognition

“When we come into a recognition of the Unity of all things and that the source of all power is within, we tap the source of inspiration” ~ Charles Haanel.

The next element for self-esteem is recognition of the accomplishments by people whom you respect.

To feel really great about yourself, you need the recognition of people you look up to and admire people, such as your boss, your coworkers, your spouse, and people in your social circle.

Whenever you are recognized and praised for any accomplishment by someone whose opinion you hold in high regard. Your self-esteem goes up, along with your eagerness and enthusiasm to do even better on the job.

We all need a pat on the back for the work well done. I am sure you have been to places where even when you have done your very best no one comes to congratulate or encourage you. It feels like you are just wasting your time and energy.

Recognition is a very nice feeling. Most of what we do if not everything, we all want to be recognized for it. At least I am talking about myself.

Rewards

Don’t we all want to be rewarded for our efforts? The final element of self-esteem involves rewards that are consistent with your accomplishments.

You may work in a field where you receive financial bonuses, status symbols—larger offices, bigger cars—or even plaques and trophies for superior achievement.

All of those symbols can have an incredible impact on raising your self-esteem and causing you to feel terrific about yourself. Expecting to be rewarded for your efforts comes naturally.

If, however, your existing situation does not offer the tangible or intangible rewards that are necessary for you to build and maintain your self-esteem. You must create rewards for yourself.

One of the smartest things you can do is to design a system for giving yourself rewards for both small and large accomplishments as you move progressively toward your goals.

Whether or not your current environment provides the six elements of self-esteem improvement that is goals, principles, success experiences, comparison with others, recognition, and rewards. You need to establish your own structure and take full responsibility for building and improving yourself up on a regular basis.

When you have that foundation, you will experience a form of mental fitness and unshakable optimism that will sustain you through failure and propel you to success.

Conclusion

Improving your self-esteem should be like physical exercise. To achieve and enjoy your life’s purpose you need to cultivate high self-esteem.

Generally, people with high self-esteem are more likable and live happier lives than those with low self-esteem.

Like I always say that personal development of self-growth does not come overnight so is high self-esteem.

Keep working on your self-esteem. You will never say I have arrived at the destination of high self-esteem it is a continuous journey.

October 27, 2011
Improve Your Self-Esteem Part 1

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope or confidence” ~ Helen Keller.

Your self-esteem is probably the most important part of your personality.

It is the source of energy or the reactor core of your personality, and how much self-esteem you have determines your levels of vitality, enthusiasm, and personal magnetism.

People with a high self-esteem are more positive, more likable, and more effective in most part of their lives.

Everything that you do, say, or think affects your self-esteem. It is important, therefore, that you guard your self-esteem jealously by having the right frame of mind on a continuous basis.

Probably the best definition of self-esteem is “the level to which you respect and value yourself as an important, worthwhile person.”

How much value do you put on yourself? The value will usually be determined by the kind of life you lead. It is your level of mental fitness. The more positive-minded you are the higher your self-esteem.

To be at your best and feel terrific about yourself, you should be in a perpetual state of self-esteem building and maintenance.

Just as you take responsibility for the level of physical fitness, you need to take complete responsibility for the content and quality of your mind.

I have developed a simple formula that contains all the critical elements for self-esteem building, and you can use it on a regular basis to ensure maximum performance.

The formula is comprised of six basic elements. They are goals, principles, success experiences, comparison with others, recognition, and rewards.

Goals

“Goals allow you to control the direction of change in your favor.” How much you like and respect yourself is directly affected by your goals.

The very act of setting big, challenging goals for yourself and making written plans of action to achieve them actually raises your self-esteem, which causes you to feel much better about yourself.

It is important to set goals for your life. Imagine how nice it would be like to play a video of your life and you being the main character achieving your goals one at a time.

Self-esteem is a condition you experience when you are moving step-by-step toward the accomplishment of something that is important to you.

For that reason, it’s really important to have clear goals for each part of your life and to continually work toward achieving them.

Each progressive step you take causes your self-esteem to go up and makes you feel even more positive and effective in everything else you do.

Principles

The second element in self-esteem building is having clear principles and values to which you are committed. We all or rather most normal thinking people have their own set of principles.

These are the driving force of each and every one of us. The difference is the level of commitment. Men and women with high self-esteem are very clear about what they believe in.

The more you hold onto your values and beliefs, and the more you strive to live by them, the more you will appreciate and respect yourself. This commitment will boost your self-esteem.

Lasting self-esteem comes only when your goals and values are congruent, that is, when they fit into each other like a hand into a glove.

Much of the stress that people experience comes from believing one thing and trying to do another.

But when your goals and values are in harmony with each other, you feel a wonderful surge of energy and well-being, and that’s when you start to make real progress.

Success Experiences

“My definition of success is to live your life in a way that causes you to feel a ton of pleasure and very little pain – and because of your lifestyle, have the people around you feel a lot more pleasure than they do pain” ~ Tony Robins.

The third vital element in improving self-esteem involves actively pursuing and achieving success experiences.

Once you have set your goals and principles, it is important that you make them measurable so that you can keep a score of your small and large successes along the way.

Setting up a goal is the first step towards achieving greatness. When you break that goal down into smaller, manageable parts, you empower yourself to tackle each piece with confidence.

Completing those parts not only propels you closer to your ultimate aim but also boosts your self-esteem, making you feel like a true champion. Embrace the journey and celebrate each milestone—you are capable of incredible things!

But remember that you can’t hit a target you can’t see. You can’t feel like a winner unless you clearly lay out the standards by which you are going to measure your success and then achieve those standards.

Let’s say that you set a goal to sell a x-amount of money or earn a certain amount of money in a given year. If you break that down into monthly and weekly goals, and then you achieve the first of those goals, you will feel great about yourself.

Every time you reach another milestone, your self-esteem and ability to perform will increase, and you will feel encouraged and enthusiastic about the next challenge.

The key is to keep encouraging yourself with tangible results. The more tangible results you can see the more self-esteem you buildup.

Conclusion

This is a two-part article and I thought to end here. In the final article am talking about the remaining elements that is a comparison with others; recognition and rewards.

There is more you can do to improve your self-esteem. Having a high self-esteem is the gateway to a better life and living. It does not matter who you are, or what you have, when you put on high self-esteem you can move mountains.

October 26, 2011
5 Qualities of Leaders and Motivators Part 2

This is the final part of a two-part series. If you missed out on part 1 please click here before you continue. In part one I talked about the first two qualities and these are vision and courage.

We learned that we are all born with these qualities and that the difference between leaders and followers is the expression of them to the world.

I also talked about the importance of vision and courage in leadership. In this issue, I will write about integrity; realism, and responsibility as the other qualities of leaders and motivators.

Integrity

“In the arena of human life, the honors and rewards fall to those who show their good qualities in action “~ Aristotle.

Integrity is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.

I believe integrity underlines all other qualities. The measure of integrity is determined by how honest you are in the critical areas of your life. How honest you handle other people’s finances for example?

Can someone trust you with their valuable possessions? Can you be trusted with handling say public matters even when it means that you will lose popularity in the short term?

Integrity means that you, as a leader, admit your shortcomings. It means that you work to develop your strengths and compensate for your weaknesses.

Integrity means that you tell the truth and that you live the truth in everything that you do and in all your relationships.

Integrity means that your dealings with people are straightforward and that you do not compromise on what you believe to be true.

“In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.” ~ Thomas Jefferson.

Realism

“True realism consists in revealing the surprising things which habit keeps covered and prevents us from seeing” ~ Jean Cocteau.

The fourth quality of leadership is realism. Realism is a form of intellectual honesty.

It is a way of seeing, accepting and dealing with situations as they really are without being influenced by your emotions or false hopes.

The realist insists upon seeing the world as it really is, not as he wishes it were. This objectivity and refusal to engage in self-delusion is a mark of the true leader.

A leader accepts situations as they are and transforms them to his advantage.

Those who exhibit the quality of realism do not trust luck, hope for miracles, pray for exceptions to basic business principles, expect rewards without working or hope that problems will go away by themselves.

These all are examples of self-delusion, of living in a fantasy land. Yes, I know that miracles do happen but not without you playing a part.

The part you play and the amount of faith you have will definitely be a determining factor in the general out.

A good leader insists on seeing things exactly as they are and encourages others to look at life the same way.

As a leader, you get the facts, whatever they are. You deal with people honestly and tell them exactly what you perceive to be the truth.

This doesn’t mean that you will always be right, but you will always be expressing the truth in the best way you know-how. Thereby excising your integrity in the process.

Responsibility

It is said by Brian Tracy that “the happiest people in the world are those who feel absolutely terrific about themselves, and this is the natural outgrowth of accepting total responsibility for every part of their life.” This is the mark of a true leader.

The fifth of leadership is responsibility. This is perhaps the hardest to develop.

It is the duty of a good leader to take and accept responsibility no matter what the outcome is. In the same manner, as when the outcome is positive he takes all the parting on the back. He should take the brunt when things have failed.

If instead of accepting responsibility when things go wrong, you make excuses, blame someone else and simultaneously become angry and resentful and blow up, this may cost you.

Personal leadership and motivational leadership are very much the same. To lead others, you must first lead yourself. To be an example or a role model for others, you must first become an excellent person yourself.

There is no dodging responsibility. Know also that you are responsible for your own life. Your very own life is in your hands.

You are responsible for your actions. Wrong or right, good or bad they are your actions. If you want to become more, more of you is expected.

“Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more.” ~ Tony Robins

Conclusion

Finally, take action. You know that all mental preparation and character building is merely a prelude to action. You become a leader by motivating yourself.

Motivate yourself by striving towards excellence, by committing yourself to become everything you are capable of becoming.

You motivate yourself and others by continually looking for ways to help others improve their lives and achieve their goals; you become a leader by becoming the kind of person others want to get behind and support in every way.

Remember that we all have the five qualities in us wake them up and see how far you can go.

October 8, 2011
5 Qualities of Leaders and Motivators Part 1

“If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader” – John Quincy Adams.

This is a two-part series in which I am illustrating the 5 qualities of leadership and motivators.

We are all born with leadership qualities regardless of our situation the difference is how much of it, we show the world. How much of it are we utilising?

I thought to talk about these just so as to remind us about our leadership qualities. You may not be in a leadership position but you are the leader of yourself.

If you are a parent like me then you are responsible for providing leadership to your family. Men and women are leaders and both possess diverse leadership qualities.

This diversity of qualities between men and women complement each other. One cannot do entirely with the absence of the other.

Find herewith, the five qualities of leaders and motivators.

Vision

The first quality is vision. All great leaders have a vision and they are persistently pursuing it. Whatever the vision maybe it becomes the driving force for success.

Perhaps vision is the single most quality that, more than anything else, that separates great leaders from average leaders.

The more clearer the vision you have the more likely you are to succeed.

“All successful men and women are big dreamers. They imagine what their future could be, ideal in every respect, and then they work every day toward their distant vision, that goal or purpose.” ~ Brian Tracy.

A good leader does not get caught up in the day-to-day activities this is the work for his followers. The Bible says “where there is no vision the people perish” ~ Proverbs. A great nation can also be seen from the kind of leaders they have.

But remember that we are all born with this quality called vision. If you focus on your area of interest it does not matter what area it is, you will be a great leader in that respect.

“Cherish your visions and your dreams, as they are the children of your soul; the blueprints of your ultimate achievements” ~ Napoleon Hill.

The best way to motivate others is to firstly motivate yourself. I have attended some personal development workshops and the first thing that strikes me is the level of motivation by the speakers.

Believe me, if you yourself are not motivated and are trying to motivate others it will show. For example, you cannot talk to people about how to make money when you do not have the money to show for it.

You must at least show some potential for earning the money or demonstrate that you are actually earning the money. I sometimes come across adverts in the streets, about how someone will give you some lucky charms for getting rich when they themselves are living in poverty.

One of the most powerful tools for all motivators is the commitment to excellence. The best motivational vision you can have for yourself and others is to strive to be the best.

Be it in business or in whatever area, you must strive to be the best. If you are not the best strive to be among the best at least standout.

Courage

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” ~ The Bible.

The second quality of a leader is courage and it is the distinguishing characteristic of a true leader. You can often see it in a leader’s words and actions.

A true leader speaks with courage and boldness. It is always easy to set a vision and standards for yourself. But it takes a lot of courage and humility to abide by your aspirations.

We all have what we want to be or rather archive in life. At least I have formulated my life’s purpose and am moving towards achieving it.

The distinguishing factor is having the courage to make certain unpleasant decisions that will help us in the long run.

When you set certain standards for yourself trust me temptations will come your way, so do not compromise with your standards. When you are tempted show your courage by resisting them.

Remember when I said that we are all born with these qualities? It is the level of growth that differentiates leaders from followers.

I believe that all growth comes from the inside. And that, what we are, is a result of what has developed from the inside. Or better still what we are is a reflection of what we harbour.

The foundation of character is the combination of courage and integrity. The first form of courage is your ability to stick to your principles, to stand for what you believe in, and to refuse to budge unless you feel right about the alternative.

Courage is also the ability to step out in faith, to launch out into the unknown, and then to face the inevitable doubt and uncertainty that accompanies every new venture.

I give the example of Alexander the Great, the King of Macedonia. He became King at the age of 19 and managed to conquer great nations with mightier armies than he had at the time.

Simply because he refused to remain at home when his soldiers went to battle instead he was the first one to charge at the war front. He leads by example by letting his men know that he believed in the outcome of every war or battle they fought and that motivated the soldiers to do even more.

Conclusion

For now, I end here. In the next series, I will mention the remaining three qualities of leaders and motivators that is integrity; realism, and responsibility.

“You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.”

October 6, 2011

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