Personal Development

Time to Change Relationships that Need to be Changed

Its that time when you have to make your resolutions and change those that need to be changed. Resolve to be a better person this year.

Motivational Quotes

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” – Serenity Prayer.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become your character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.” – Frank Outlaw.

“There are no secrets to success it is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.” – Colin Powell.

Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or the present are certain to miss the future” – John F. Kennedy.



The year 2019 will be remembered as a year that came with a lot of change. It changed the order of doing things. We were all either affected and or infected by the virus that has continued to ravage the world, the COVID-19 pandemic.

This change has been forced upon us. We have had to adapt to the new norm of doing things, such as wearing face masks, regular use of hand sanitisers, and taking extra precautions when going out in public. Social gatherings are restricted. But, like in every other challenge some people have thrived and some have, all but complained.

The lessons taken from the preceding year are very valuable. The experiences of the closing year have taught us that we need to change some relationships going forward. There is need to readjust our lives to conform to the new order of doing things.

Humans are well known for being social in nature. In Africa, we love large gatherings, be it social, political, spiritual, or whatever, we just love them. However, I don’t see this coming back in the shortest possible time. Surely for as long as the COVID-19 pandemic is around, life will not be as it was before.

How to Make the Change

A nice way to make the change, as we begin the new year is to identify your relationships and evaluate them. Clarify your relationships on how you would like them to affect the various aspects of your life. Then take the necessary action that you would expect to improve these relationships. You need to make rational goals.

For example, the following relationships have a bearing on my life:-

  • Finances/money
  • Family
  • Work
  • Health
  • Friends
  • Spirituality
  • Website

I will take the relationship with finances/money as an example. Am sure that most of us have a story to tell on this one. If your relationship with finances is not as good as it should be, maybe you are struggling to make earns meet or maybe your current job does not pay as much as you should be getting.

List down your monthly expenses and compare them with your current income. Now, list down your desired expenditure and compare it with your current income. Your desired expenditure is what you would like to be spending on a monthly basis without stressing.

Identify and cut down on unnecessary expenditure. Find more ways to improve your earnings to supplement your current paycheck. If your current job is not flexible enough to allow you to do extra work maybe, it is not the right job for you.

Invest in your skills by getting an education that will help enhance your career and productivity. Read more about how to manage finances/money. Have definite, realistic, and achievable goals that will keep you motivated. Work on your goals every day.

This year I have set a target to create passive income for myself. It seems hard work for now, but I think it will pay off as this will greatly improve my income and free up time for me. I have identified a few sources that I think are worth trying out. I will be sharing during the course of the year on the progress.

You may be asking, what if you do not realise your goals within the time frame? Well, you can adjust the time frame, the most important thing is, you have a target you are working towards. You have something to work with.

One of the reasons why we have a poor relationship with our finances is that we work for money instead of letting money work for us.

Set Resolutions for the Year

One way of keeping track of your progress is to have a set of written down resolutions and a habit of reviewing them on a regular basis. This year resolve to improve on your shortcomings. Resolve to improve on those poor relationships that are greatly affecting your life negatively.

Make resolutions and work towards achieving them. Start with a few that can easily be managed. This will encourage and challenge you to move on to those that will take you much longer and are seemingly difficult to repair or manage.

The best time for me to make resolutions is usually at the beginning of the calendar year. However, there is no rule, you can actually make them at any time of the year and begin to work on them as you please. But you must make and work them anyway.

It is a good idea to have resolutions that are precise and measurable. This way, when you are reviewing them, you will be able to determine how much progress has been made and determine if there is need for adjustment. I normally review mine on a quarterly basis.

Yes, I know that sometimes I lag behind. By, reviewing my resolutions on a regular basis ensures that am reminded of them and can easily get to work on improving those that have remained behind. I find it normal that there are always some that I carry forward into the following year.

Be Optimistic

To be optimistic is to be hopeful and confident about the future. Being optimistic is key in ensuring that you achieve the resolutions that you have set. It is an important ingredient to have when we have set targets for ourselves.

Otherwise, there is no point in setting goals and resolutions that you are not optimistic about achieving. That is why it is important to set goals and resolutions that are fairly reasonable and achievable.

That nice feeling you get when you have accomplished a task should be repeated more often. It should be what drives you to even greater heights. You must make it your driving force and leverage on it to push you in your quest for personal development and self-growth.

Being optimistic is a great sign of confidence in what you are doing. It shows that you are in control and are expectant of positive results. Yes, sometimes results may not be as expected. But this should not make you give up.


If you want to succeed you must develop a habit of setting resolutions at the beginning of every year. This helps you set the tone and pace and what you are going to achieve during the year. It gives you a sense and purpose to live life.

For changes to be of any true value, they’ve got to be lasting and consistent” – Tony Robbins.